Friend Request: Withered Pink Rose
by Crow Reaper
Summary: Laura and her friends have found love, all of them, except Olivia. Laura and Marina's strong romantic bond envies Olivia so much she feels neglected, defeated and unloved. Olivia has thoughts about suicide only to be oblivious to the fact that she is very much loved, she just doesn't know it yet.
1. Chapter 1: Abyss of Death

**Chapter 1: The Abyss of Death**

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 20th February 2017**

From childhood I was raised a Catholic and I was preached in the ways of Christianity. One concept that always etched in my memory was being granted into eternal paradise, which we all know as Heaven. It was a place of peace, tranquillity and bliss. No war, no hate and no suffering.

The day I chose to leave my life because I was sick of all the torment I endured. Death was the only way out and heaven was a better place, but only when I chose death over life, I realized how wrong I was.

* * *

„Liv, are you in there?" asked Isabel standing at the bathroom door patiently. „Come on Liv, I need to use the bathroom," moaned Isabel from behind the door. She waited for a response before she banged on the door and persisted, „Liv open the fucking door already, I'm not joking." Suddenly there were cries in the bathroom. „Liv," concerned Isabel, already feeling fear in the pit of her stomach and shivers all over her body.

„Liv, open the door now," shouted Isabel frantically, banging on the door desperately. „LIV PLEASE, OPEN THE DOOR," cried Isabel.

„What's going on?" worried Gustavo, running to the door.

„Olivia has locked herself in the bathroom," blubbered Isabel.

„Liv, open this door… now," demanded Gustavo, trying the door handle. He looked down and noticed he was standing in a puddle of blood. „Jesus Christ," gasped Gustavo, he pulled himself away from the door, „Stay back."

Gustavo threw his body into the door and it swung open. There lay Olivia on the floor unconscious with blood seeping out of her left arm. Gustavo and Isabel rushed in the bathroom towards Olivia. „LIV," cried Isabel with tears in her eyes. She grabbed Olivia in her arms, while Gustavo hurriedly rummaged through the bathroom cabinet. Contents flew out and landed in the sink, until Gustavo found a roll of bandage.

„Liv please, don't die. Please Liv, come back," sobbed Isabel, as tears strolled down her cheek and landed on Olivia's face. Olivia moaned, but still kept her eyes closed. „She's alive, thank God she's still alive," exclaimed Isabel. Gustavo yanked out an extended strip of bandage and wrapped it around Olivia's bleeding arm, which had a long vertical cut. The blood lightly soaked through the bandage and stemmed the bleeding.

„Stay with Liv, I'm going to call the ambulance," said Gustavo, dashing out of the bathroom and into the corridor.

Isabel remained in the bathroom with Olivia in her arms, stroking her face in the hopes of keeping her alive. „Please Liv, stay with us, we don't want you to go. An ambulance will be here, you're going to make it Liv. Liv, please don't die, we need you… we love you," cried Isabel, continuing to shed tears that would fall on Olivia's pale skin.

Olivia could barely hear Isabel's tearful words, which distorted and faded into silence. It really seemed she was dying and she had accomplished what she intended, commit suicide and be successful.

Now that Olivia seemed successful in committing suicide, she realized what a big mistake it was. She had flashbacks of all the good times she had with Laura and Isabel, how they would have girls nights together. It was always what Olivia preferred, no boys, just girls having fun together. When boys joined her group like Gustavo, Kobe and Tyler, she tolerated them and eventually learned to appreciate and see qualities in them. Gustavo became Isabel's boyfriend, Tyler became Laura's and Kobe was a friend who always had a crush on Laura, but she didn't feel the same way.

Olivia knew she was no longer going to live to have anymore fond nostalgic memories or other adventures she could have had, she was going to die alone and scared. Her idea of death that there would be an afterlife didn't seem feasible, now she was drowning in darkness. No white light, no angels greeting her and no heaven's gate. She was going to be trapped in a sea of eternal blackness and silence, a place worse than hell she could only imagine.

Olivia didn't want to die, she wanted to live, but now that didn't seem possible. She cut down her arm, she was bleeding to death and her body was giving up.

„Oh thank God…" cried Isabel.

„Stay back lady, we'll take over," ordered an unknown voice.

„What's her name?" asked another unknown voice which was female.

„Olivia," answered Isabel.

„Right… Olivia, can you hear us?"

**To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2: A Second Chance

**Chapter 2: A Second Chance**

* * *

Olivia gasped for breath and opened up her eyes. She was staring up at a circle of lights, which brightly shone in her face. Her vision adjusted to her surroundings and could see a woman in surgical scrubs, who placed her hand on Olivia's forehead.

„She's come to. She's alive," said the surgeon, looking at her colleague.

„Thank goodness, we'll get her transferred to a ward," said a male voice.

Olivia's lips were dry and she struggled to breath normally because her throat was so dry and sore. She moved her head to see more people in scrubs surrounding her, showing signs of relief that they saved a patient.

The female surgeon looked back at Olivia, shone a torch in her eyes and asked, „Are you okay? Can you speak? What is your name?"

„Olivia," croaked Olivia.

„Olivia, everything is going to be okay, we'll get you to a ward and we'll tell your friends the good news."

* * *

Olivia was transferred to a ward where she was veiled from other patients and hospital staff by curtains. She was left alone to recover and think about what she did and what was to follow. Looking down at her arm, she saw the tightly well dressed bandage on her entire left forearm, and thought back to her suicide attempt. She could remember dragging a razor sharp blade down her arm, it did hurt, but it wasn't what scared her the most. It was how she saw her skin open up and a large spurt of blood shot out, and her entire arm was hemorrhaging blood. Eventually she lost conscious, and before she could change her mind, she collapsed on the bathroom floor.

Olivia ruminated back to all the fun times she had with her friends, whom she lived and shared the apartment with, and how they were going to confront her for her selfish act to take her own life. She broke down and cried with regret, knowing she hurt her friends and they would disapprove with what she did. From that moment on, Olivia was grateful to be alive and was ready to face the consequences with her friends.

Olivia received her first visit from Isabel and Gustavo, who hugged her the moment they found her sitting up in her hospital bed. She felt alive again and the love she thought she would never have again, ever since Marina became close with Laura and Isabel too.

„Why did you do it Liv, why?" asked Isabel, begging for an answer.

„Isabel, I was so lonely. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt I didn't matter to you and Laura anymore," answered Olivia tearfully.

„Oh Liv, of course you matter to us, why would you ever assume you didn't?" asked Isabel, sounding baffled.

„Marina… she… everything changed when she came in. Laura was spending more time with her and so were you. I always felt left out while I saw you two together and when I saw her with Laura," sobbed Olivia.

„Oh Liv, why didn't you just tell us how you were feeling? We would have let you join in," preplexed Isabel.

„I guess it's because I wasn't ready to trust Marina. I thought there was something deceitful and shady about her," disclosed Olivia, then there was a short pause and a suspicious look on Isabel's face. „No that's not the truth entirely," huffed Olivia while looking down, „I was jealous of her, and I wanted to control that emotion. Okay and I wanted to sabotage Laura and Marina's relationship, but now part of me feels guilty about wanting to do that. I was happy being Laura's friend and us having fun times together, and here I was trying to take away not only Laura's happiness, but also Marina's. Marina spent her time suffering from loneliness, and here I was trying to rain on her parade. I feel like such a cunt."

„No Liv, you had reasons to feel what you felt, and you did the right thing by backing away from Marina to control your anger. But some point, you're going to have to accept those changes and accept the way things are. We will do the best we can to maintain this friendship and please you, but if you try anything like this again and hurt us, we are going to have problems with our friendship," scolded Isabel firmly.

„Oh Isabel, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, please never leave me. I'll change, I promise I will change," cried Olivia, burying her face in her hands.

Isabel hugged Olivia again. „It's okay Liv, I forgive you. Gus and I are going to get you the help and support you need," soothed Isabel.

Olivia was unnerved when she learnt from Isabel that Laura was on her way after being informed about the suicide attempt. Never has she felt so nervous, even the time when she took her driving test and worried about failing. Her heart was pounding when she was left alone behind the closed curtains, knowing that Laura would inevitably show up. It was mainly the way Laura would act that concerned Olivia, seeing her in the state she was in.

The curtain drew open and there stood a doctor who humbly requested, „Sorry you two, but Olivia is going to need some time alone."

„Can't we stay for a few more minutes?" requested Isabel.

„No, Olivia needs to answer some questions. Kind of confidential if you can understand."

„Okay," agreed Isabel.

„If you could remain in the waiting room that would be great."

The doctor pointed the direction with his arm.

Isabel hugged Olivia and whispered into her ear, „We'll be back soon Liv, I promise."

Isabel kissed Olivia on the forehead and left the ward with Gustavo.

Olivia watched Isabel and Gustavo leave. The doctor closed the curtains and proceeded to ask Olivia some questions, regarding what happened. Without any hesitations or making alibis, Olivia told the doctor she attempted suicide. This did take the doctor aback, but he kept a straight face and proceeded to the next question. She answered every question truthfully and cooperatively.

The questioning didn't take long, the doctor then said he would refer Olivia to a therapist and a suicide support group. He then allowed Olivia to rest, but that didn't stop her from feeling lonely. Being confined by a wall of blue curtains and laying in a hospital bed. All she could hear were footsteps and chatter from hospital staff and patients. This wasn't enough to abate her boredom and loneliness, she started to ache in her bones and shiver. That all changed when the curtains drew open and she saw who she wanted to see, it was Laura.

„Liv," lamented Laura, approaching Olivia with tears rolling down her face.

„Laura," sniffed Olivia.

„Why did you do it Liv? We love you," asked Laura, hugging Olivia, who remained motionless and enervated from bedrest.

„I feel so alone, why haven't I found love? You and Isabel have found love, and I'm all alone," wailed Olivia, burying her face in her hands.

„Liv, Liv, Liv please stop it," implored Laura, taking Olivia's hands away from her face and drying her face with a tissue. „You're very beautiful, you have a beautiful face and a beautiful body," complimented Laura, which made Olivia smile and giggle. „See there's a smile," laughed Laura, pointing at Olivia's face, „Come here." Laura gave Olivia another hug and kissed her on the forehead and kept her face close to hers.

„Laura may I?" begged Olivia, placing her hands on Laura's face.

Laura frowned feeling confused what Olivia was demanding and permitted ardently, „Liv, whatever will make you happy."

Olivia spontaneously threw her lips on Laura's and passionately kissed her, feeling a strong sense of love for her close friend.

„Thank you for letting me do that, I know you are with Marina, but thank you for letting me kiss you. I just needed to feel love," thanked Olivia gracefully.

„You're welcome Liv, I'm happy I made you feel loved again," smiled Laura placing a hand on Olivia's face.

„Can I see Marina?" requested Olivia.

„Sure, I'll get her now," agreed Laura, as she went to fetch Marina. She shortly returned with Marina by her side, who expressed shock seeing Olivia in the state she was in.

„Hey Liv, you wanted to see me?" wondered Marina, slowly advancing towards Olivia and sitting on the stool beside her.

„I do, I just wanted to tell you that I'm happy to be alive. I'm happy that you make Laura happy, and most of all, I'm happy you are happy," confessed Olivia holding Marina's hand.

„Thank you Liv, I'm sorry you are going through a rough time, but I'm glad you're feeling better now," comforted Marina.

„It's okay Marina, I guess we all have low points in our lives, until we realize that life truly is worth living," understood Olivia, as Marina smiled hearing Olivia's wise words. Olivia turned her attention to Laura who was standing by the curtains, as she asked, „Laura, is it okay if I… you know?"

Laura hesitated trying to to figure out what Olivia was requesting, but then got the idea and slightly opened her mouth, smiled and permitted, „Sure, as long as Marina is okay with it."

Marina looked confused too. Olivia stroked Marina's face and asked, „Is it okay to kiss you?"

Without hesitation or unease, Marina smiled and consented, „Sure." Olivia then indulged herself to kiss another pair of lips and had her hands on Marina's face. When their lips parted, Marina then kissed Olivia on the head, took her hand and let it slide off hers and drew back to Laura's side.

Laura raised her eyebrows and remembered the envelope Isabel gave her. „Oh I almost forgot," remembered Laura, as she pulled out the red envelope and handed it to Olivia, „Isabel instructed me to give this to you."

Olivia took the red envelope, and saw her name in neat bold writing on the front of the envelope. She happily opened the envelope, and pulled out what looked like a Valentine's Day card.

„Oh you got a Valentine's Day card from someone. See, someone loves you. Who's it from?" questioned Laura, as Olivia looked up only after briefly reading the contents and identifying the sender.

„It's that guy, the one who fancies me," disclosed Olivia.

„Oh yeah, it's the one who's half British and has a sense of humor, also does impressions and magic tricks," recalled Laura.

„Yeah that's him, I don't know, he's kind of a bit too odd for me," doubted Olivia.

„But he's also kind of cute, even if he's a bit odd. He's just trying to impress you because he likes you," implied Laura.

„Yeah, I mean I was a bit odd when I tried to approach Laura," interjected Marina.

„You weren't odd sweetie, you were just a little too intense," objected Laura, hugging Marina with one arm and kissing her head.

„I'm still unsure, I'm not really into nerds," hesitated Olivia

„Maybe you should just give him a chance, I gave Marina a chance and then we got into a relationship, and we both found love," advised Laura, „I know he might be awkward, but I'm sure he has a big heart, and would do so much for you."

„I'll think about it," smiled Olivia, dropping the card on her lap.

„Good to know you are opening your heart to him, maybe all you need is to give dating a try. You never know, you might find happiness with him," encouraged Laura.

„Well Gus is a bit of a clown too, but he has a good heart," remarked Olivia.

„Take all the time you need to think about it, but in the meantime, you need to recover and get back on your feet," encouraged Laura stroking Olivia's hair.

„I will do that," agreed Olivia, smiling determinedly.

„Good," elated Laura, as she and Marina approached and both hugged her.

As Laura and Marina left the ward, Marina turned back to look at Olivia and quoted, „Shine On You Crazy Diamond." Olivia frowned, but then smiled finding Marina's witty remark funny.

* * *

Once Laura and Marina were gone and Olivia was left alone, she felt so content and enlivened, feeling appreciated and valued by her friends. She was truly having an appetite for life again. She looked at the Valentine's Day card again, she looked at the front cover with embossing imagery and text in joined writing. She smiled at the amorous and cute looking cover which was two teddy bears hugging with a flurry of pink hearts floating above them. The text read „For someone special". This endearing text made Olivia smile.

Olivia slowly opened up the card and saw romantic text in joined writing which read, „Always thinking of you. My inspiration and the light in my soul." Below the text was a heart with an embossed outline and in the middle of the heart, Olivia could see her name. Below the heart was more text which read, „love from your admirer" and below was signed with the name of someone Olivia was familiar with 'Jeremy'.

This romantic declaration really awed Olivia and touched her heart, she had only one thing in mind and that was to hug Jeremy and say thank you. However, upon mulling over that name and knowing more about Jeremy as a person, Olivia had second thoughts.

**To be continued…**


	3. Chapter 3: Jeremy

**Chapter 3: Jeremy**

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 6th of March 2017**

Once I was discharged from the hospital and stepped back into the world I chose to abandon, I realized how I'd forgotten how beautiful the world is. The air was fresh, the sun was shining and I still had my friends.

Seemed that I have my old life back, but there was only one person that could change that. This person has been trying to win my attention and affections, but I was very unsure about him as a character from day one. Jeremy, I know his name is Jeremy.

* * *

Olivia logged into her Facebook account, which hasn't been logged into since last week. She could see she had a lot of messages and a friend request that sat there for pretty much months on end. It was a friend request from Marina, the one she used to scorn for stealing Laura away from her. With her newfound respect for her former rival, she willingly moved the cursor to the ‚accept' option and Marina became a new addition to her friends list.

Then unexpectedly appeared another friend request, it was from someone who Olivia knew. Olivia was scared and freaked out to know it's from her admirer, Jeremy. She froze as she stared at the friend request options ‚accept' or ‚decline', even Jeremy's profile picture that was a picture of him smiling in a very odd bizarre way. Unable to bring it in herself to select either option, she clicked off the window and begun to read her unread messages.

* * *

„No I can't do this," refused Olivia, resisting Isabel's grip on her arm.

„Sure you can Liv, you just need to get to know him better," encouraged Isabel.

„No Isabel, I'm serious," Olivia tore herself away from Isabel. „I don't want to talk to Jeremy, he's not my type."

Isabel's smile dropped and her eyebrows drew close together. „Liv, you promised Laura and I you would give Jeremy a chance."

„I know but… don't you think it could be at a later date, I don't know how I can handle it."

„Liv, it's easy okay, Just be yourself and have a little chat and you'll do fine."

Olivia tutted and reluctantly walked over to the table where Laura and Marina were sitting with Jeremy and keeping him company. She didn't make much eye contact with Jeremy, who was eyeing her and smiling, hoping to see Olivia reciprocate a smile. She sat directly opposite where Jeremy was sitting and watched her friends depart.

„Where are you going?" wondered Olivia.

„This is your coffee date remember, it's just for you two… enjoy," smiled Laura getting off her feet and giving Jeremy a thumbs up.

Olivia sat with her coffee looking down, feeling speechless and unwilling to speak to Jeremy who was looking at her with a fervid smile on his face. She did look up at him from time to time and did notice that he was still looking at her, obviously in the enamored sort of way.

Jeremy was a young type, roughly the same age as Olivia. He was tall and lean, with broad slender shoulders and big skeletal hands. He had a square jaw with a smile that resembled a horse, even had teeth like a horse and showed a lot of gum. There were dimples at the side of his face whenever he smiled, which was the only facial feature that somewhat appealed to Olivia. His eyes were light pale-blue, which always twinkled when he smiled. He had a big long pointy nose with the snub end pointing like the end of a billiard cue. His hair was thick and wavy and was styled as a mullet, kind of resembling David Bowie in his golden years. The color of his hair was a dark crimson red, probably dyed to suit his style. His ears were big and pointy helixes and plump ear lobes. Overall his appearance did display his own uniqueness and the type of character he is, comical, spontaneous and unpredictable, like a clown without makeup.

Olivia felt embarrassed and alone to be sitting alone at a table with a man whom she had reservations about. She gazed at Jeremy's smiling face, which evinced how deeply attracted he was to her. It was kind of like a fan meeting his favorite celebrity and being lost for words. Unable to get a word beyond his lips, but was more than happy to look at her.

„So Olivia, I've heard you are in the same class as Laura. Is that true?" asked Jeremy (in a distinct British accent), breaking the silence between them. The tone in Jeremy's question obviously showed how nervous he was, finally getting to talk to his crush.

Apathetically and forcibly, Olivia pushed a response through her lips, „Yeah."

„I believe Laura is studying psychology. Must be a really hard subject to tackle."

„Uh huh." Olivia wasn't making eye contact, she just looked down at the table playing with her coffee flap-on lid.

„Do you find psychology easy?"

„I guess."

Olivia was clearly not enjoying Jeremy's company. She felt really lonely and abandoned, she was almost inclined to just get up and walk out of the cafeteria, but was worried about the response she would get from Jeremy should she have done so. The last thing she wanted was for Jeremy to stalk her, which would have induced her embarrassment just sitting there and humoring him.

„I wonder if they teach you hypnotism? After all, it's kind of what most psychiatrists administer on their patients."

„Psychology not psychiatry," debunked Olivia irritatingly.

„What?"

„Psychology and psychiatry are different."

„I know that, Laura told me you know. She intends to go to medical school after getting the degree."

„Yeah well I'm doing it for credit. I don't know if psychology interests me. Rather do something more exciting and not so tedious."

„What do you have in mind?"

„I don't know, something where I don't have to read so much textbooks or at least textbooks that are too complex or pretentious."

There was a short pause, until Jeremy reacted as if he brainstormed a subject he always theorized, „You know, I always thought those that are studying scientific subjects are just looking to get rich."

„Yeah well who doesn't?" speculated Olivia, looking down at her coffee, which she barely touched.

„Hey Olivia," called Jeremy, as Olivia rose her head and saw Jeremy had stuck two coins on his eyes. „Do you want to get rich?"

Olivia was shocked to see Jeremy with coins stuck on his eyes and embarrassed to know there were people still in the cafeteria. She was tempted to slap him and make the coins fall off, but then her cringing face turned into a smile, she was ashamed to smile at something so corny and silly.

As Jeremy made the coins fall off his eyes he accidentally knocked over his cup and its contents spilled onto the table. Olivia scrutinizing the mess made on the table, confirmed that it wasn't coffee Jeremy had been drinking, it was red herbal tea. The herbal tea was so bright red, it triggered a traumatizing flashback. It reminded her of blood, her own blood, lying in a puddle of her own blood and slowly dying.

„Oh dear that was clumsy of me," Jeremy whipped out a paper handkerchief and wiped the table clean, „Just stay seated and we'll have this mess cleaned up in a jiffy."

While Jeremy was occupied wiping the table clean, Olivia was in a catatonic trance. There was a queasiness deep in her stomach, which induced her to throw up.

„There, good as new," smiled Jeremy, finished wiping the table clean. He looked at Olivia staring at the table with a pale face and lips turning blue. „Olivia, are you alright?" concerned Jeremy.

Olivia broke out of her trance, feigned a smile and responded, „I'm fine… listen Jeremy, thank you for taking the time to talk to me, but I need to get going."

„You sure you're okay Olivia, you want me to walk you to class?"

„No Jeremy, please… it's very nice of you, but I'd like to be alone if you don't mind," Olivia quickly got up and accidentally spilled the contents of her bag on the floor. She dropped to the floor to pick up the various scattered items on the floor as Jeremy helped her gather them.

„No Jeremy please, I don't need your help. I got them," dissuaded Olivia without exchanging eye-contact.

„No Olivia, it's no problem. I just want to help," insisted Jeremy.

When nearly all the items were recovered, there was only Olivia's phone lying on the floor. She reached out for it, but at the same time Jeremy reached out for it, their hands touched for the first time. They looked at each other. Olivia looked stunned and so did Jeremy. Olivia's face was filled with fear and embarrassment while Jeremy's was surprised and infatuated that this was his first physical contact with Olivia.

Olivia tore her hand away from Jeremy, got off her feet and ran aimlessly to exit the cafeteria.

„HEY, YOU FORGOT SOMETHING!" called out Jeremy.

Olivia didn't care, she wanted to be out there as soon as she could.

**To be continued…**


	4. Chapter 4: Unexpected Visit

**Chapter 4: Unexpected Visit**

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 7th of March 2017**

My first coffee date with Jeremy was an awkward one to say the least. As much as I didn't want to, I did it just to shut my friends up who kept on badgering me to give Jeremy a chance. Begrudgingly I got myself a drink and sat with Jeremy giving me googly eyes, which I did find very uncomfortable. Like any man would try to impress a girl he did try to impress me with his antics and quirks.

This wasn't the first time he tried to impress me. One time he sat with my friends and he got out a yogurt and pretended to have forgotten a spoon, but while he mentioned the word „spoon", he made a spoon magically come out of his mouth. He really thought he could impress me with that trick, but in all honesty, he creeped me out. All my other friends laughed at his creepy little act, but I didn't.

However his little antic he tried to impress me with over coffee did tickle me a little and made me smile, in a rather embarrassing way, kind of like a guilty pleasure to say the least. Was this really happening to me, am I starting to get Jeremy's sense of humor. Maybe because I haven't laughed in so long ever since Laura begun seeing Marina, my sense of humor was coming back to me and I learnt how healthy it was to laugh when recovering psychologically.

* * *

„Shoot, I forgot my phone," stressed Olivia, rummaging in her bag.

„Where did you see it last?" asked Isabel.

„I think I must have left it in the cafeteria."

Laura pulled out her phone and said, „Maybe I should give your phone a ring."

„Just hope someone didn't turn it off, otherwise it must have been stolen," speculated Isabel.

„Well I hope not, that phone wasn't cheap you know," hissed Olivia, feeling really agitated and unable to keep still.

„I know Liv, you had to sell your silver ring to be able to afford it," reminded Isabel.

„Don't remind me, it wasn't an easy decision to make," snapped Olivia.

Laura held her phone to her ear, but pulled it away from her ear and shook her head.

„No answer," mourned Laura.

„Oh great, what else am I going to have to sell to get a replacement?" whined Olivia, pacing up and down the room.

„Calm down Liv, the phone was ringing so it wasn't turned off. I'm sure someone will recover it and return it," placated Laura.

„You think? Because I don't know who would," complained Olivia.

Unexpectedly, Laura's phone vibrated and made a loud ring-tone, which Laura answered promptly.

„Hello… yes… oh hi I didn't expect to hear from you… you what? You have it?… oh that's great, why don't you come over? Sure, I'll text the address… okay see you later." Laura put down the phone and looked at Olivia with a joyful smile on her face and informed, „Good news Olivia, your phone has been found, he's bringing it round now."

„Who?" asked Olivia.

„He didn't give me his name," responded Laura, with an obvious expression she was lying.

* * *

Olivia continued to pace around the apartment and her friends told her to sit down, which she did. She looked relieved and happy to know her phone was being brought to her, but she was curious to know who it was.

The doorbell rung and Laura offered to answer the door. She opened it and greeted the person at the door.

„Hello, come on in," warmly offered Laura, making space for the visitor to step in.

Olivia waited to see who would enter the apartment, and it was him, it was Jeremy.

„Hello Jeremy," greeted Isabel.

„Hello Isabel," greeted Jeremy.

All of a sudden Marina appeared behind Laura, slung her arms around her belly and kissed her.

„I'm sure you know Marina?" wondered Laura, with Marina's chin resting on her shoulder with a fervent radiant smile looking at Jeremy.

„Sure I do, how can I forget the little dark angel?" joked Jeremy.

„Oh Jeremy, you brush-head," playfully admonished Marina.

„Do you have Liv's phone?" asked Isabel.

„Oh yes I do," responded Jeremy, fishing in his pocket for the phone and energetically approaching Olivia just sitting and looking at him neutrally. Jeremy hands Olivia her phone amicably and flirts, „One returned phone for the pretty lass."

Olivia took the phone out of Jeremy's hands, looked at it and unlocked her phone to check for any messages or updates.

„What do you say Liv?" reproved Laura with drawn eyebrows close together.

Olivia turned her eyes away from the phone to look at Jeremy with an eager smug smile. „Thank you Jeremy," said Olivia in a not so grateful tone.

„Would you like to stay for dinner?" offered Isabel, „My boyfriend is a real master-chef."

„I would love to, but I already ate," declined Jeremy.

„At least stay for coffee, it's the least we can do for you," persuaded Marina.

„Okay, I'll have a tea please."

* * *

Olivia continued to sit at the kitchen table feeling lonely and observe her friends chatting and having a laugh. It was clear that Jeremy was the center of attention and Olivia was just dwelling in the shadows. The only time when Olivia was ever included was when they brought up the coffee date, which was what Olivia never considered a date.

„So how did the coffee date go Jeremy?" asked Laura.

„Well it wasn't a coffee date, it was a coffee-tea date or coftey or teefty date," wisecracked Jeremy, which made everyone laugh at Jeremy's corny improvised words. „It went good, that's all I can say."

„What did you learn about Olivia?" inquired Isabel. This inquisitive question from Isabel made Olivia's stomach turn.

„Well not much, other than she's in the same course as Laura and she's only doing it for credit."

The knot in Olivia's stomach got tighter, realizing that Jeremy still remembers little details, which gave her confirmation that Jeremy must be obsessed with her.

„That's lame, you should ask her something interesting like what her favorite books and movies are for example," said Gustavo.

„Yeah, I know my boyfriend well. He likes British comedies, especially Dr Who," intervened Isabel.

Jeremy's eyes lit up and he looked at Gustavo. His jaw dropped and he asked, „You like Dr Who?"

„Hell yeah, Dr Who is the shit, the true badass in all sci-fi," marveled Gustavo.

„Gordon Bennett, I don't believe this. I thought I was the only Dr Who fan around."

„Same here, but now we aren't so alone anymore. Welcome to the tribe brother," offered Gustavo his hand to Jeremy, which he ardently took and they did a brotherly hug.

The whole conversation then turned to Dr Who related, which just involved Jeremy and Gustavo talking. Laura, Marina and Isabel were only engaged because they were enthralled by Jeremy's accent and personality. Jeremy would even share his idea that British actor Rik Mayall should have played Dr Who, which Gustavo immediately agreed on. This subsequently caused Jeremy to do his Rik Mayall impressions, which made everyone laugh, even Olivia would crack up a smile and look at Jeremy.

The one joke Jeremy pulled off which would erupt laughter and knock everyone dead was when he decided to do a Dalek impression. He placed a metal colander on his head, stiffened his face and ventriloquized in a perfect robotic impersonation, „Exterminate". He even rotated his hips with his hands pointing out, imitating turrets, acting authentically robotic.

Laura collapsed on the floor laughing and turning as red as a rhubarb. Marina burst out laughing too and bent down to help Laura off the floor. Gustavo retained his balance by holding onto the edge of kitchen workspace while laughing. Isabel was laughing uncontrollably too, she was holding onto Gustavo's shirt to keep herself on her feet.

Olivia couldn't fight it anymore, she couldn't help but submit to the titillation Jeremy inflicted on her. Rather than join in the laughter and allow herself to be seen by anyone, she fled to the bathroom trying to keep the laughter bottled up.

* * *

Olivia didn't bother to shut the bathroom door or turn the light on, she just sat on the toilet in the dark and vent her laughter in her own quiet space. She unleashed her emotions from the pit of her stomach and ejected them out of her mouth, like she was vomiting. Her temperature rose and she was feeling really hot, it was if she was about to spontaneously combust. Tears bled out of her eyes and ran down her face all the way down to her chin and neck.

When Olivia stopped laughing she could feel her throat was sore and her vision was blurry from all the tears from her eyes. Her cheeks were sore from all the laughing and the tears burnt her cheeks like acid. She stopped to think back to when she was in the bathroom and made the audacious action to cut down her arm and bleed to death. Looking around the room and the floor she lay unconscious on, she remembered having a difficult time stepping foot in the bathroom. Even when she needed the bathroom it still brought back the trauma and she would try to use other lavatories to avoid going into the bathroom. When she finally did use the bathroom, she never locked the door, even when she was on the toilet or taking a shower. It was clear that she'd rather be embarrassed than scared. She did not want to be locked in the same bathroom and indulge in personal privacy.

„Liv, what's the matter?" panicked Isabel, running up to Olivia still sat on the toilet. Isabel inspected Olivia's eyes that were still wet with tears. „Have you been crying?" Isabel wiped the tears from Olivia's face and saw her raise a guilty smile on her face. „Wait you haven't been crying, you've been laughing. You find Jeremy funny don't you?" Olivia then burst into laughter again reflecting on Jeremy's little performance, which Isabel laughed too and teased, „See you admit it, you find Jeremy funny. Come on admit it Liv."

Olivia wiped her face and confessed, „Okay that was funny, he got me there. However that still doesn't mean I like him."

„Well laughing at his jokes must mean something, maybe it means you are starting to like him."

„Isabel, he's a creep. He just doesn't want to get the hint I'm not interested in him."

Isabel frowned rebukingly, „Liv."

„Okay he's a nice guy, it's just… well he's…"

„Not the same guy you had a one night stand with."

„Yeah that's right."

Isabel wet her bottom lip and convinced, „Liv, I will agree he was a very good looking man, but you need to understand that it's not all about the outside that matters."

„Oh come on Isabel, you used to have a crush on Brendan Fraser."

„Don't remind me, he really let himself go these days. The point is Liv you shouldn't be so judgmental with appearance. I mean Gustavo might not have abs or pecs, but I fell in love with him because of his charming personality and also he's funny."

„And because you are both fat and you love to stuff yourselves."

This playful insult from Olivia made her raise a smile on her face and Isabel playfully punched her in the arm.

„Liv… okay maybe it's true we're fat, but we can't imagine going through life not eating what suits our palate. You and Laura have such boring lives compared to me and Gus."

„Oh boring huh… you should be concerned about your health. You might not live to enjoy it."

„Oh the irony Liv… anyway enough about health and nutrition. Why don't we go and see Jeremy, he's probably wondering where you are."

Olivia cringed hearing that name again, but allowed Isabel to lead her out back into the kitchen where Jeremy probably was.

* * *

The kitchen wasn't boisterous with laughter, it was much quieter and more casual. Olivia could hear a conversation between Laura, Marina and Jeremy. The conversation revolved around her and she overheard that Jeremy plans to take her out on a date. The thought of a date bubbled inside her stomach and she was skeptical about the idea and reluctant to go through with it.

Back in the kitchen Laura, Marina and Jeremy saw Olivia with Isabel and greeted them with smiles.

„Oh hi Liv, we were just talking about you. I think Jeremy has something to ask you.. in private."

Olivia felt even more queasy knowing she was going to left alone with Jeremy again. She didn't know how she was going to handle it. Was she going to be blunt with him or was she going to try and lie to him and hope she could get away with it?

Olivia stepped into the kitchen and sat at the table to hear what Jeremy had to say to her, which she knew what it was.

„Liv, your eyes are bright red," perplexed Jeremy, looking into the two bright red eyes.

„Oh it must be pink eye," lied Olivia.

„Strange, because your eyes are like Laura and Marina's eyes. Must be a bad case of pink eye going around." Jeremy smiled hoping to make Olivia laugh too, but she didn't even crack up a smile. She just waited for Jeremy to get to the point. „Anyway I've been meaning to ask you something. Would you like to go out together this week, maybe get something to eat? What food do you like?"

Olivia feigned a humorous friendly smile and said, „Jeremy I can't, I'm too busy. I have so much studying time I've missed and I've got an essay to write."

„Okay well not tomorrow, but maybe at the end of the week perhaps?"

Olivia was rendered gobsmacked and at a lost for words. Unable to be blunt with him and more inclined to give him false hope, she responded, „Look I'll let you know okay. It's just I'm hungry and Gustavo is cooking dinner. So if I may ask…"

„Sure I'll take my leave," said Jeremy graciously.

„I'll see you out," offered Olivia, accompanying Jeremy to the door.

Olivia opened the door for Jeremy and he stepped out and turned to face Olivia and ask, „So how about this Friday then? I know exactly where we can go and get something to eat and maybe afterwards we'll…"

„Jeremy look, I'm pretty sure I or one of my friends has your number. So when I've got time and I'll be free on Friday, I'll let you know, okay?"

Olivia fabricated a polite smile just to please Jeremy as he answered, „Okay sure, I'll look forward to it. Good night Olivia."

Olivia didn't respond, not even a handshake or a hug to say thank you, she just waited until Jeremy's back was turned and she closed the door. Finally relieved to be rid of him, she turned her attention back to the kitchen where she saw all her friends were.

„So how did it go, did you say yes to Jeremy?" asked Laura, smiling with anticipation.

„No I didn't, I said I'd let him know, which I have no intention of doing," retorted Olivia, still rejecting the idea of accepting Jeremy's invitation.

„Liv don't give him the silent treatment, I did the same thing with Marina and it turned out to be a big mistake," pleased Laura.

„Well when you did it you had a reason, you just wanted to tell Marina you didn't want her at the party by lying."

„You're right, I did lie. I felt bad about it, but Marina has forgiven me. Don't do what I did, at least be honest with him."

„Yeah I will be honest with him, I'll send him a text right now and tell him I don't want to go out with him this Friday, not ever," Olivia got out her phone and searched for Jeremy's number, unsure if it was on there.

„Liv wait, I think you're being too hasty," implored Marina, walking up to Olivia. „You haven't really taken time to know Jeremy that well."

„Marina, him and I had a coffee together, wasn't that taking the time to know him?"

„Okay what do you know about Jeremy?" asked Isabel inquisitively with a stern expression.

„Well he's got a British accent, he likes Dr thingy or whatever he's called, he likes tea and he…." Olivia was unsure what else she knew about Jeremy, she just saw her friends looking at her with disapproval.

„What course does he do?" interrogated Isabel, expecting Olivia unable to deliver an answer.

„Well he does… erm… I don't know something."

„See, you don't know Jeremy well," rebuked Isabel.

„Look I'm just not into him okay, I'm not going to go on a date with him and that's final," asserted Olivia, getting sick of her friends' persistence. „Just what is it about no don't you understand?"

Laura walked up to Olivia to look her straight in the eyes and remind, „Liv, if you don't like Jeremy and you're not attracted to him then that's fine, but at least tell him on the date. After all, he did bring your phone back to you, it's the least you can do for him."

Olivia huffed in frustration and vexation, looked at Laura mournfully and said, „Laura, I just don't think I can go through with this. I don't know how I can tell Jeremy."

„No problem Liv, if you can't bring yourself to go on a date with Jeremy, then I guess I'll just have to invite him to dinner this Friday."

The idea of Jeremy coming to dinner this Friday made Olivia's skin crawl, she didn't know which was worse and more humiliating, a date with Jeremy or a dinner party with him. Olivia considered the two options and thought long and hard about them before making a decision.

**To be continued…**


	5. Chapter 5: First Date

**Chapter 5: First Date**

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 11th of March 2017**

Not only have I been attending a suicide support group, but also an anger support group. Part of my suicide attempt was motivated by anger and bitterness I secretly had towards my friends, who I felt didn't care for me anymore. Not just that, but also the fact they found love and I was the only one single.

While attending the support groups, I did enjoy listening to the attendees stories and why they were driven to attempt suicide. Some of their stories I could relate to, mostly the ones that involved being abandoned. I would find myself interacting with some of the attendees and they would try to start a conversation with me. First it was me just trying to be uncomfortably polite, but then they grew on me and I formed a small friendship with them.

One thing that kept crossing my mind was this Friday, was I going out on this date with Jeremy or was he coming round for dinner? I thought long and hard about the two options, but one other person that convinced me the date was the better option, was my therapist. She told me that sometimes in life it's better to just see people, not exactly form a relationship, but just create new memories rather than burden yourself with old bitter ones.

I also ruminated on the thought that a date with Jeremy would be the best resort to shut him up and tell him at the end that I'm not interested in him. I was also hoping that after I gave him the message, he would no longer try to integrate in my friend group and he'll find his own group of friends. There was no guarantee it would work, but it would have more desirable results than him attending a dinner party. So there it was decided, I will be going on a date with Jeremy this Friday.

* * *

„Girls please that's enough okay," moaned Olivia irritatingly.

„Come on Liv, you need to look beautiful for your date," asserted Isabel.

„Yes I know, but do I need to wear this much makeup and have my nails done?"

„Need to look your best Liv, Jeremy wants to see you looking your best," said Laura, still painting her finger nails.

„Yes I know and I'm not doing this for Jeremy, I'm just doing it to please him and hopefully get him off my back."

„Well you never know Liv, you might like him and want another date with him," speculated Marina, doing Olivia's hair, making spirals draping down her shoulders.

„Yeah very unlikely," grumbled Olivia.

Not a word was exchanged until Laura and Marina pulled back and allowed Olivia to look into the mirror. Olivia had a fringe with spirals hanging over her shoulders. She had eyeliner and painted eyelashes. Her lips were colored dark orange-red and were glossed, which was Isabel's work. Her nails were painted pink and were also glossed, she always preferred wearing nail varnish over lipstick.

„So what do you think Liv?" asked Laura, looking into the mirror with Olivia with pride.

„Okay I guess," said Olivia apathetically.

„Oh stop it Liv, you look beautiful," objected Marina, looking into the mirror too with pride for her job on Olivia's hair.

„Marina is right Liv, you do look beautiful," beamed Isabel, as her smile waned and her eyes looked down at Olivia's choice of wardrobe, „Not sure about the clothes though."

„Yeah are you sure that's the best you can think of? Wouldn't you rather wear something more exciting or sexy?" asked Laura.

„Nah, I kind of like with what I'm wearing thank you."

„You sure? It's not that cold outside, you don't really need to be wearing a sweater on a date surely," criticized Isabel.

„Yeah and tight blue jeans," agreed Laura.

„Well Laura you wear pants when we go out clubbing sometimes, besides, I don't want to show my scar."

Olivia has had her bandages removed and the stitching has healed over, but the scar down her arm was still noticeable.

„Good point, but don't worry. Time will heal that scar and no one will recognize it," smiled Laura.

The doorbell rung, which caught the attention of the three girls surrounding Olivia. „Oh that must be Jeremy now," bubbled Laura as all the other girls ran to answer the door, leaving Olivia to look in the mirror and speculate what's to come.

Olivia's choice of wardrobe was a white fisherman knit sweater and blue boot cut jeans. On her feet she wore black leather slip on shoes. Not exactly her favorite outgoing image if she was looking to impress men or look good for the camera, but it was what she was comfortable wearing in front of Jeremy with.

Laura answered the door to warmly greet Jeremy who stood at the door dressed up for his date.

„Hello Jeremy, please come in," invited Laura cordially.

„Thank you," Jeremy stepped in and was approached by Gustavo.

„Jeremy my man, how are you?" asked Gustavo, offering his hand to Jeremy.

„Doing great Gustavo, all ready to show Olivia a good time."

Kobe stepped into the scene to greet Jeremy.

„Jeremy I believe you haven't met my main man Kobe?" presented Gustavo.

Jeremy and Kobe shook hands.

„Hey Jeremy, so happy to finally meet you. Love the get up man."

„Yeah you look grand, you look like you're off to see a horse race," giggled Laura.

Everyone gawked at Jeremy's bizarre dress sense. He was wearing an old-fashion tweed brown peacoat and grey Scotts hat.

Olivia entered the room and glanced at Jeremy's inappropriate sense of dress for a first date. She frowned at the absurdity and reproved, „You can't expect me to go on a date with that."

„Look who's talking Olivia," interjected Isabel, rolling her eyes towards Olivia.

„No worries, I'm dropping it off here," smiled Jeremy, obviously came dressed like that just as a joke. He took off the jacket and hat, „Don't know what I was thinking going out looking like this." Underneath the coat Jeremy was wearing a smart black and white pin-striped waistcoat over a white long-sleeved shirt. A little black bow tie hung on his neck like a butterfly. He wore smart black trousers matching his recently polished black shoes that glistened in the light. Despite looking really spruced and presentable, Olivia still thought he was overdressed for a date.

„Looking really smart Jeremy, and that cute little bow tie. Sorry Olivia chooses not to dress her very best," said Laura, smiling at Jeremy

Olivia was looking unenthusiastic and indifferent to Laura's little criticism.

„No no, Olivia looks great," complimented Jeremy, which caused Olivia to curve the right corner of her mouth and look away.

„Well Olivia, I think it's time for you and Jeremy to go out and have fun," gibed Gustavo.

Olivia scoffed, marched to the door not looking at Jeremy as he opened the door for her like a true gentleman. She stomped out into the staircase and turned to look at her friends showing their support and wishing her luck with her date.

Gustavo approached the door, placed his hand on the door and quipped, „Well have fun you two, don't forget to kiss."

Gustavo winked and smiled devilishly and closed the door. Jeremy smiled, most likely at the thought of kissing Olivia at the end of the date. He drew his smiling face towards Olivia who wasn't smiling.

„Well shall we?" bubbled Jeremy.

Olivia moved and walked down the stairs with Jeremy who was looking smug. It was obvious Jeremy was tolerant, even towards those that were rude to him. Even Olivia's gentle subtle hints weren't enough to bring down Jeremy's smile. It was simply the fact that looking at Olivia always made him smile and he was going to make more attempts to please her.

* * *

Once they were outside and walking in the street where Jeremy was leading her and Olivia was slavishly walking by his side, Jeremy asked, „So what do you like to eat?"

„I don't know," retorted Olivia.

„Well I do know this nice pizzeria downtown, they make a nice margarita with thin crust and fresh basil. Do you like pizza Olivia?"

„No."

„No?" Jeremy frowned in confession and pondered, „ If you don't like pizza we can get a Chinese, I know a place that does an amazing chop-suey, it just melts in your mouth."

„Jeremy, I'm not really hungry okay," snapped Olivia.

Olivia was telling the truth, she really wasn't that hungry. Her stomach wasn't begging for food, probably because all she could think about was when the date was going to end. This talk about food then made Olivia wish she made herself sick so she could sabotage Jeremy's date plans, but for now, she was stuck with him.

„Okay then, we'll eat something small," responded Jeremy, still taking Olivia's rude and cold behavior.

„Oh and Jeremy, would you do me a little favor?" requested Olivia.

„Of course."

„Take off that bow tie please."

„Okay," agreed Jeremy, taking off the bow tie and putting it in his pocket and they continued their walk.

* * *

Jeremy then decided to lead Olivia into a local fast food joint, which was packed and busy. They both found a booth and Jeremy asked Olivia what she wanted to eat. Olivia was undecided what she wanted to eat, but politely told Jeremy what she'd like a drink. Jeremy told her to wait while he got the food.

While Jeremy was gone, Olivia did watch Jeremy stand by the counter and was already feeling the embarrassment seeing her date dressed in a waistcoat and smart shoes ordering food in a fast food restaurant. She did observe around the establishment and looked at other customers sitting and dining on greasy looking food, which she didn't have the pleasure of eating regularly.

There were even a few male customers who got Olivia's attention. One was ordering food alone and looked like he just came from the gym, with wet hair and a change of clothes. The others were sitting with their apparent girlfriends, looking at them flirtatiously in the eyes, an obvious sign that they were in a romantic relationship and were on a date. It was clear that Olivia found these men more attractive than Jeremy and kind of wished she was the girl they were dating.

Knowing Jeremy was still in the queue, Olivia had inclinations to simply talk to the man who got back from the gym and ask him out or just try to ditch Jeremy by walking out. Before she could decide any of those options, Jeremy came back with a tray and set it on the table. He ordered two portions of fries and two beverages with straws.

„Here we are, I ordered us two fries and our drinks."

Olivia was shocked and surprised that Jeremy calls them ‚fries' and not ‚chips' which she knows the British call them. She was handed her small portion of naked fries. There were condiments on the table like ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise, which neither Olivia or Jeremy touched. Olivia was relieved to see that Jeremy did not touch the ketchup to put some on his fries. Of course she liked ketchup when she was young, mainly because it was the only way she was able to eat foods she was forced to eat. However since she got older, her taste buds developed and she grew out of ketchup, but now ketchup was something she could not bare to see anymore. Ketchup is colored red, red like the very thing it reminded her of, blood. She even looked at other customers squirt ketchup on their fries and it twisted her stomach, even looking at the plastic red squeeze bottle of ketchup she couldn't stand looking at.

„Everything okay Olivia?" asked Jeremy while munching on his fries.

„Yeah I'm okay," replied Olivia.

„You sure you're okay? You look kind of worried about something."

Jeremy kept eyeing Olivia, looking really concerned for her wellbeing.

„Do you think we could eat outside? I really need some fresh air," requested Olivia, feeling really hot and queasy.

„Yeah sure, lets go outside."

Jeremy and Olivia grabbed their fries and beverages and walked to the exit where it was still daylight outside.

* * *

Once Olivia was outside, she felt the queasiness in her stomach diminish. If she stayed in there she would have thrown up. The sight of fries drowned in ketchup and the distinct smell of fat really got to her.

They both found an empty bench next to the beach, where they sat down and continued to eat and watch the sun set. The bright yellow sun hovered in the sky, surrounded by orange fluffy clouds that looked like something from an oil painting.

The fresh air from the beach filled Olivia's lungs with a calm tranquil feeling and the queasiness in her stomach was gone. Her stomach rumbled and reserved an empty place for the fries she still had in her lap. Feeling a little peckish she brought up a fry to her mouth and threw it in. The crispy texture of the fries and the soft potato inside really made the fries appetizing and she was inclined to eat more. She went through the fries faster than Jeremy who just watched her eat and enjoyed watching her eat.

„You're hungry aren't you?" wondered Jeremy.

„Oh well I guess I am," said Olivia lively, more focused on the sun and feeling happy.

„Would you like some of mine?" asked Jeremy, offering his fries to Olivia.

For the first time ever, Olivia turned to look at Jeremy to answer his question with a smile.

„Oh no it's okay Jeremy, you eat them," declined Olivia, taking a deep breath and breathing out while drawing back her Attention to the sun.

Olivia reflected on how she looked and responded to Jeremy, truly appreciating his kindness and bestowing him with a smile. She wasn't annoyed with him and was happy he didn't embarrass her back at the fast food restaurant. So far on the date, Jeremy didn't put on an act and behaved completely normal, which was something Olivia hoped he would do.

„Really beautiful isn't it, the sun I mean?" commented Jeremy, munching on his fries.

„Yes it is, so rich and full, something so many take for granted. If only they took that one time to watch the sun go down and appreciate its beauty, before it leaves us and the night sky emerges," marveled Olivia, feeling at peace just watching the sun slowly decline on the horizon.

„Yeah you're right, it is beautiful. If only those people back at the fast food joint knew what they're missing, but hey, it's good to know we're here watching the sun go down."

„Yeah," responded Olivia, still looking radiantly happy.

The sun infused Olivia with an overpowering warm fuzziness, which relieved her of everything bitter and dark and brought back the light in her soul. She was once the withered old flower dying in the shadows who was now rejuvenating in the sun and feeling alive again.

Jeremy just watched Olivia looking so beautiful in the sun, the setting sunlight was making her skin rutilant and the bench they were sitting on turned bronze. Her hair glistened like gold, it was like Olivia herself was turning into gold, which Jeremy considered a wonderful spectacle; even more beautiful than the sun itself. To him, Olivia was the sun.

Jeremy got out his pack of chewing gum, unwraps a stick for himself, puts it in his mouth, hands Olivia his pack of gum and asks, „Would you like some gum?"

Olivia looks at Jeremy and responds politely with the same riant smile, „No thank you Jeremy."

Jeremy allows Olivia to bask in the sun as he chews on his gum and does something with the tin foil wrapper. He folds it out and then folds in corners until he makes a cute little origami bird.

„This is for you Olivia," said Jeremy, handing her the origami bird made out of tin foil wrapping paper.

Olivia took the origami bird and held it in front of her face as it glistened in the sun. She reacted towards the cuteness of the little bird Jeremy made. „Thank you Jeremy, it's really cute," thanked Olivia, putting bird in her pocket.

„I learnt origami since I was a kid, it was one of my first talents I discovered," revealed Jeremy.

Olivia turned to face Jeremy and engage in conversation with him, this time feeling revitalized and in a better mood to talk to someone she was initially reluctant to talk to.

„That's very interesting…" Olivia struggled to find a way to lead a conversation, so she said the first thing that came into her mind. „ So are you British?"

„I am, well I'm… I'm half British. My father is British and my mum is American. I was born in Oxford, which was where my parents first met. My mum was an exchange student who met my dad in the library in Oxford University."

„Oxford… hm, I'm sure I've heard that name before. Close to London?"

„Well yeah it's not far from London, it's what they call a University city, it's a privilege for many students to study there."

„So how long have you lived in England before coming here to the States?"

„I was born there of course and went to school there, but after school my dad got a job in California, so we moved down here where I enrolled in college doing performance arts."

„Wow, I thought you'd rather stay in England to study at Oxford."

„Yeah well, kind of got bored with Oxford, wasn't my thing. So I decided to come here and pursue an acting career… so enough about me, I should ask you questions…. So, are you from California originally?"

No longer feeling any resentment towards Jeremy and feeling more open, she answered, „No, I'm from Marlton, New Jersey. East coast."

Jeremy nodded with astonishment, „Oh really?… well that's interesting. So why did you move to California?"

„I always wanted to move to California. Laura moved there before I did and so did Isabel shortly before I did. We all lived in New Jersey originally, it's just we wanted to be close so that's when we all decided to live in California. It's a long story, don't want to bore you."

„No Olivia, you don't bore me. I'm interested."

„Yeah well there's not much I can say other than who moved first and why they moved."

„Do you miss New Jersey?"

„No not really, it was quite a boring place. So dull and lifeless, believe me, it's no place for a girl like me to live."

„Do you have family here?"

„No, they live back in New Jersey. I go to visit them every year for Christmas and sometimes they come here for my birthday."

„Wow that's a long journey, traveling to the other side of the country."

„Well my parents pay for my flight ticket."

Out of nowhere there was the fluttering of wings, which made Olivia and Jeremy turn to see a seagull fly and perch on the railing.

„Look who's come to visit us," said Jeremy.

„It's just a seagull, you see them all the time," remarked Olivia, sounding uninterested to see such an unexpected appearance. Never in her life was she interested in birds, she found them to live such monotonous lives just flying aimlessly and scrounging.

„Just a seagull, they are one of the sounds of the ocean. Without seagulls the beach wouldn't be so vibrant." The seagull jumped off the railing and landed on the ground. „I think he's hungry. Guess he would like one of my chips."

Olivia was shocked and amused to hear Jeremy mention the word ‚chip' which she was certain he meant to say ‚fry', but it delighted her to hear Jeremy slip and speak the English he was brought up with.

„Come on," encouraged Jeremy, with a fry in his hand. The seagull slowly walked to Jeremy's hand and ate the fry, gobbling it down. „See Olivia, he likes it. Then again seagulls eat almost everything."

The seagull turned its back and flew away towards the sun and cawing. Jeremy turned around to look at Olivia with an impish smile.

„Hey, this gives me and idea," Jeremy stands up and faces Olivia. He waits for the seagull to caw again and speaks in a gruff pirate voice, „Are ready kids?" Olivia sat, looked at Jeremy with a dour confused expression until Jeremy said, „Olivia, you're suppose to say „Aye aye captain"."

„Aye aye captain," mumbled Olivia, obviously unenthusiastic.

„I can't hear you," raised Jeremy his voice in his pirate voice.

„Aye aye captain," reiterated Olivia, only slightly raising the volume in her voice.

„Ohh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" sung Jeremy, but Olivia sat with her eyes rolling at Jeremy disapprovingly. „Come on Olivia, you know who it is."

Olivia in fact did know who it was Jeremy was referring to. She remembered when he was everywhere on TV, in toy stores and on the cover of food products and became a cartoon phenomenon. She uttered the name apathetically, „SpongeBob SquarePants."

„Absorbent and yellow and porous is he."

Jeremy paused and waited for Olivia to repeat the name she knew the answer to.

„SpongeBob SquarePants."

„If nautical nonsense be something you wish."

„SpongeBob SquarePants."

„Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish."

„SpongeBob SquarePants."

„Ready?"

Jeremy then repeated the name just like in the show in the same rhythm and hoped Olivia would join him too, but she just sat and watched Jeremy dance and sing the rest of the theme. Jeremy did a pirate laugh and finished by getting out the straw, which he played like a flute and sounded just like one. This little caper to conclude his performance stimulated a wide smile on Olivia's face and push the air out of her lungs to laugh hysterically. This was when it became clear to Jeremy that he made the girl he wanted to impress laugh and he smiled with pride and joy. He indulged himself with the pleasure of watching and hearing Olivia's cute laugh and leaking tears.

Out of nowhere a glob of white substance came from the sky and splatted onto Jeremy's right shoulder. It then became clear it was bird excrement and that a seagull defecating onto Jeremy's shoulder.

Olivia then burst out into laughter, she wrapped her arms around her stomach and leant forward, almost falling off the bench to roll on the floor in laughter.

„Thanks," sarcastically said Jeremy, looking up at the seagull still flying in the sky.

Jeremy then approached Olivia and knelt down at her still laughing and shedding tears. After Olivia had calmed down, she then remarked, „I guess the seagull didn't like your performance." She then again spontaneously burst out into laughing, which Jeremy felt really smitten by.

„You do know that when a bird drops one on you it's a good luck charm," lectured Jeremy.

Instead of impressing Olivia it caused her to laugh again.

When Olivia had finished laughing and her face was bright red and wet with tears, Jeremy handed her a napkin and said, „Dry your face Olivia, don't want your eyes to get puffy."

Olivia took the napkin and dried her face. She looked at the bird excrement on Jeremy's shoulder and commiserated, „Oh Jeremy, get that shit off you."

Olivia wiped it off with the napkin as best she could, but instead it became a smear leaving to go dry.

„Thanks Olivia, oh and you have something in your hair," notified Jeremy, moving his hand to the right side of Olivia's head. Olivia sat motionless and allowed Jeremy to touch her gold silky hair. He plucked it out and manifested it in front of her face, „You had a feather in your hair." The feather was measly and fluffy, which Jeremy held parallel to Olivia's lips and beamed, „Make a wish Olivia."

Olivia smiled at the stupidity of Jeremy holding a feather to her lips, but was willing to be superstitious and think of a wish. If there's one wish Olivia always had on her mind was that her one night stand gets back in touch with her and asks her out. Of course there were other things she wished for like to always have her friends and have fun together, or have a nice house in Beverly Hills or a condo near the Themes in London. There were many things Olivia wished for, but at this moment she could only have one wish. She made her wish, pushed her lips together and lightly blew the feather out of Jeremy's fingers.

Olivia and Jeremy looked into each other's eyes with blissful amicable smiles. The laughter that Olivia reveled in, brought back the love in her heart and lust for life again. She looked into Jeremy's eyes who were gazing into hers. Jeremy was inclined to touch Olivia's hands for affection and even looked at her lips, which were adorned with lipgloss and shimmered in the sunlight. He was coveting to kiss Olivia's thin enticing, duckbilled lips, but he respected her too much to make the first move.

Olivia pondered on the look Jeremy was giving her and could see the fondness in his eyes. It went through her mind the whole day what she would say to Jeremy and when it was the right time to say it. She wanted to turn him down, but she was unsure if this was the time to do it. She was even inclined to end the date and just go back home, but then there was a sudden caprice that dominated her impulses.

„Jeremy," said Olivia softly.

„Yeah," responded Jeremy with a wide bright smile.

„Do you like ice cream?"

* * *

Olivia decided to extend her date with Jeremy by taking him to an ice-cream parlor, feeling hungry after eating her fries and indulging in the laughter Jeremy brought her. She did think that ending the date after a memorable and exuberant moment wouldn't feel right, the sun had disappeared on the horizon and the night was young.

„You kidding right, you met Hugh Laurie?" astonished Jeremy.

Olivia just spooned ice cream into her mouth and spoke with a mouthful, „Yeah. You see… I was out with my friends at a cocktail bar, sitting at our own table and we saw this tall handsome man standing at the bar. He was wearing a smart suit with a gold watch. We saw his face and we knew it was him, well me in particular because I watch House."

Jeremy's eyes lit up and his jaw dropped, „Really? Me too, I love that show. Hugh Laurie does a very authentic American accent."

Olivia swallowed melted ice cream down her throat and smiled with fingers pointed at Jeremy, „Right on." She further expounded, „Anyway, I was too shy to go up to him, but my friends would badger me until I agreed to walk up to him and talk to him. I was so nervous I thought I was going to faint. I stood beside him and said his name to get my attention. He turned around and saw me with neutral expression, I thought he was going to be rude to me and break my heart. Instead, he raised a smile on his face and greeted me. I told him I was a big fan of him and I loved him in House and he was grateful for my compliment. He ended the interaction by signing me an autograph on the napkin. I walked back to my friends elated that I spoke to Hugh Laurie and I got his autograph, I could not hold back my tears, it was probably the best night in my life."

Jeremy made eye contact the entire time Olivia told her story, his eyes didn't stray and he smiled with fascination.

„That's a great story Olivia. I wish my story was the same when I met Patrick Stewart, he turned out to be a huge disappointment."

„Oh no what happened?"

„Well I met him at Oxford museum at a school trip. I was on my own and I came across a man in a raincoat and hat. He was looking at the exhibits and I approached him and said „hi". He was polite enough to greet me back, but immediately turned his attention back to the exhibits. I told him I loved him in Star Trek and in Xmen as Charles Xavier and he only responded with „thanks". Then all of a sudden he just walked away and I could see how much he wanted to get away, not showing the least bit of appreciation for one of his fans. It really hurt my feelings," divulged Jeremy, expressing the look of disappointment on his face.

„Well, that must have been a real blow," sympathized Olivia, understanding her encounter with a celebrity as fortunate and Jeremy's encounter with a celebrity as not so fortunate.

„Yeah well it did diminish my respect for Patrick Stewart, even as an actor. I was never able to look at him in the same way again or was even tempted to watch another one of his films. Still I hoped it was for a good reason and that way I can forgive him."

„Yeah well you never know what goes on when the cameras are off. Maybe he was traumatized by a fan experience and he became wary of fans approaching him."

„Yeah you're probably right about that," agreed Jeremy, enlightened by Olivia's theory and seeing her happily eating ice cream.

The rest of their conversation while dining on ice cream was more lively and conversational. They did share a few funny stories as Olivia was more open to Jeremy to share with him some more nostalgic memories she forgot about, while she was going through her self-destructive phase. On more than one occasion Olivia smiled at Jeremy, which enlivened Jeremy's spirits and convinced him that Olivia was already warming up to him.

* * *

When they finished their ice cream, Jeremy suggested a walk in the streets, which Olivia ardently agreed to. They walked together in the quiet streets and talked along the way, mainly involving one of the things they discovered they both had in common, House and other crime dramas.

They subsequently stumbled into a band of street performers at the town square, where a small crowd was gathered to watch the band perform. The members of the band were African American, dressed in smart suits and playing instruments. By the looks of it, they weren't homeless, they were doing what they were doing out of pleasure and to make quick easy money.

Jeremy suggested watching them perform, which Olivia was more than happy to go along with. He came up with an idea how to impress Olivia. He waited until they finished their musical number then approached them and offered them $20 to perform a song he requested. He took his position and waited for the band to commence playing their instruments, while Olivia stood and watch Jeremy stand like a statue waiting to perform.

The music played and it was clear that Jeremy picked the Pink Panther theme, which he would tap dance to. This attracted other bystanders to gather round and watch the show Jeremy put on.

Jeremy wouldn't always tap dance through the whole performance, but would do other dance moves like other leg movements, which looked comical and pertaining to the style the Pink Panther was most known for. He would also execute a sequence of various dance styles, which involved a mix of flamenco, ballet, jiving and even a bit of miming, just to add to the comedic style. There were even spontaneous antics he would improvise on the spot, which would include the use of props. He would grab his iced tea, which he bought to drink along the way and pretended to drink it, but notice it was empty. Taking off the lid and holding it above his face, the ice would then gush onto his face, which made the audience laugh; especially Olivia. Another antic he pulled off was get a playing card and do a magic trick and eventually make one of the cards spontaneously combust in his hand.

Olivia did not feel embarrassed by Jeremy making a scene and drawing attention, she enjoyed watching him dance and perform magic tricks.

The performance ended and Jeremy got a thundering round of applause from his audience, which grew in numbers. Jeremy bowed and one of the audience requested him to do another performance, which he gladly agreed to. He looked at Olivia who he saw she was smiling at him. This encouraged him to do another musical number, not only for his audience, but for Olivia too. He decided to sing a song, but he didn't want it to be a song with Olivia's name in it and he wasn't going to invite her to join him on his stage. He wanted it to be a love song, but nothing flirtatious. His intentions were to reach out to Olivia and tell her how he feels about her and how she changed his life, but the last thing he wanted to do was embarrass her. It was decided that this song would not only be for Olivia, but for his audience too.

He submitted his request to the band, who smiled with anticipation and alacrity. Borrowing the microphone from one of the band members, he tested the sound and gave a short speech, „This is for all of you in the audience who are feeling the love in the air tonight." Jeremy turned to look at the band, winked and directed, „Hit it boys."

The bass-guitarist gave a bass line and the percussionist rattled the tambourine. The keyboard player interjected and Jeremy begun singing Jackie Wilson's Higher with jubilance and energy. The audience begun clapping along, even dancing.

Olivia was impressed with how good Jeremy could sing, even hit the high notes. She was smiling and couldn't stop smiling, she started to lightly dance on the spot to the jaunty song.

Jeremy danced to the the instrumental part with one of the band members playing his trumpet. He resumed singing the rest of the song and saw Olivia's exuberant and enthusiastic smile, he could never be so proud of himself for making the girl he loved smile and dance.

After the song ended, the audience applauded more loudly and rhapsodic. Jeremy took a bow and handed back the microphone to the band, where they gave him their card, probably to ask him whether he wanted to perform in future gigs with them.

While Jeremy walked back to Olivia, he was approached by members of the audience who complimented him. He shook hands with some of them and even signed a few autographs, which made him feel admired and valued as the aspiring actor he always was.

Eventually he made it back to Olivia who was smiling and waiting for him.

„Jeremy that was incredible, I never knew you had such talent," exclaimed Olivia.

„Thanks Olivia, I did it for you," winked Jeremy.

Olivia laughed with embarrassment and lightly pushed Jeremy.

„Oh Jeremy, you kidder"

Olivia and Jeremy looked into each other's eyes fervently and smiled, while the band performed another song. It was a slow love song, which beautified the moment, along with the white light from the street lamp Olivia and Jeremy were standing in. Olivia could not take her eyes off Jeremy's, she was captivated by his charm and he was captivated by her beauty. This couldn't be a more perfect place for a love scene.

„Can I walk you back home, Olivia?" requested Jeremy.

Olivia widened her smile and permitted, „Sure, lets go."

* * *

On the way back, Olivia was asking Jeremy questions about him and why he's so passionate about acting. Jeremy told her that acting was his escapism and therapeutic means to purge himself of all raw emotions and negativity from his system. Olivia was really inspired by this and wondered why she couldn't find her catharsis like Jeremy did. Only when she laid eyes on Jeremy and ruminated her most memorable moments when he made her laugh and smile did she feel revitalized and alive again.

One thing that came back to Olivia was where it was going to go from here, was there going to be another date with Jeremy or is she going to sever ties with him?

After having a few laughs and talking about House and their favorite moments from the show, Olivia and Jeremy finally arrived back at Olivia's apartment. Olivia allowed Jeremy to accompany her up the stairs and to her door where they stopped and prepared to go their own separate ways.

„Well here we are Jeremy, I'm home," said Olivia jovially.

„You sure are, home again home again jiggity-jig," quipped Jeremy in a helium like voice.

Olivia and Jeremy both laughed. When their laughing faded and concluded, they again looked into each other's eyes, both smiling amiably. Jeremy's heart was beating in his chest, he thought this would be the moment he should kiss Olivia, but was hesitant whether he should. He didn't know how Olivia was going to act and whether she would consent or refuse. Seeing her smile was a sign that maybe Olivia was expecting a kiss from Jeremy, so he moved a little closer to Olivia, which caused his heartbeat to become more rapid.

Jeremy snapped open his dry lips as Olivia did the same, but when Jeremy slightly leaned forward, Olivia shot out her open hand.

„Thank you Jeremy, I had such an amazing time," thanked Olivia, still smiling cordially.

„Erm you're welcome Olivia," baffled Jeremy, taking Olivia's hand and shaking it, trying to maintain a smile.

Olivia turned away from Jeremy and faced her door where she got out her keys and opened the door.

„Olivia, do you think that perhaps you might want to do something like this again? I was thinking that maybe you might like to go see a movie or something, there's the new…" proposed Jeremy, but his words were cut by Olivia already having opened the door and stepped into her apartment.

„Goodnight Jeremy," said Olivia, still adorning a polite smile before closing the door.

With the door closed and being separated from Jeremy, Olivia looked through peephole to see Jeremy was still there. He was looking confused and just stood there looking at the door, probably trying to determine why Olivia didn't answer him when he tried to ask her out on another date.

Olivia turned her back to the door and breathed a sign of relief, finally ending the date with Jeremy and doing what her friends wanted her to do. Now she gave Jeremy the hint instead of telling him earnestly, she can continue the rest of her weekly plans. She looked at the mirror and reflect on the date she had with Jeremy and hoped this would be when he finally gets the hint and will start to lose interest in her.

Then Olivia's emotions changed, she got back from such a wonderful night and spent it with someone who was able to make her happy and feel joy in her life again. She doubted whether she did the right thing by closing the door on Jeremy before he could fully propose his invitation for a second date, or if she should have ended the date on better friendlier terms with him. She then started to feel empty and alone, just standing in front of the mirror and looking at her reflection, knowing that she was missing something in her life. That something was someone she knew who she wanted out of her life and only agreed on the date just to please him and her friends.

Still continuing to stare at her reflection in the mirror and muse whether she truly was happy or not, she pulled out something tiny in her pocket, it was the origami bird Jeremy made for her out of the chewing gum tin-foil wrapper. She held it to her face and watched it glisten in the light. Bringing the origami figure to her nose, she could smell the peppermint.

Olivia smiled at the cute looking origami bird and then reflected on Jeremy and how she realized how big his heart was, and how she depreciated it. Now concerned with how she made Jeremy feel and guilty for closing the door on him, she dropped the origami figure and looked through the peephole of the door and saw Jeremy was gone. She frantically opened the door and ran downstairs, hoping to catch him.

Olivia made it outside and saw Jeremy in the distance, walking away with his head down.

„JEREMY WAIT!" cried Olivia as she ran towards him. Jeremy turned to look at Olivia who could see moistness under his eyes. „Have you been crying?"

„No I just… I," denied Jeremy in a rather sniveling tone.

„Oh you big pussy," mocked Olivia, marching towards Jeremy and wiping the tears away from his eyes.

Olivia then took Jeremy's hands, looked into his eyes and scoffed, „Come here."

Olivia then threw her lips on Jeremy's and gave him one long kiss before separating her lips from his, only to see Jeremy raise an ebullient smile on his face again.

„Happy now?" asked Olivia.

Jeremy nodded, „Yeah."

„Jeremy listen, about what I said about the date. When I said I had an amazing time, I really meant it. You showed me a good time. It's just that… well… you see I."

„You just want to be friends?" wondered Jeremy.

„No it's not that. Do you think that maybe we could take it slow okay?"

„Okay," smiled Jeremy with optimism and hope.

„It's just I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship. I just think we should get to know each other a little better, before we begin dating exclusively."

„That's a good idea," agreed Jeremy.

Olivia smiled and said, „Come here."

Olivia hugged Jeremy and he wrapped his arms around her, feeling the warm loving embrace.

„See you soon Jeremy okay, have a safe walk home," said Olivia.

„See you around Olivia," beamed Jeremy, still feeling exulted by the kiss he received from Olivia.

Both went their own separate ways with Olivia walking back to her apartment and Jeremy strutting down the street feeling over the moon and stimulated from tasting Olivia's lips.

Olivia walked back to her apartment, not regretting that she kissed Jeremy and she would be open and willing to accept another date.

**To be continued…**


	6. Chapter 6: Second Date

**Chapter 6: Second Date**

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 18th of March 2017**

Everything leading up to the end of the month has been great, the weather has got warmer and I've been getting good grades. It looks like I found my focus again and I've been enjoying time with my friends. This may feel like deja vu, but it's like starting college life all over again when Laura, Isabel and I moved into our own apartment and we were always smiling. It was just what I needed, a fresh new start and that fresh new start begun when a certain man came into my life and made me laugh again.

Jeremy was someone who I wanted rid of, but after getting to know him and going on a date with him, my sentiment towards him changed. At first I thought he was weird and just another pervert wanting to get his hand in my bra, but during the date he turned out to be a real gentleman. He really did care about my feelings and didn't embarrass me in public like I thought he would. He acted normal and we just talked, even found a few things we had in common.

When it was appropriate he would do his theatrics, which I did find both impressive and entertaining. He was full of surprises and was clearly trying to impress me.

I did feel bad for shunning him before he could ask me out on a second date, so out of guilt and realizing how lonely my life has been without someone like him, I ran outside to kiss him. It felt really good and alleviating to kiss another pair of lips from someone I didn't think was bad looking. He's no super model, but he's okay and rather kissable if I may add.

We agreed to take it slow and I was willing to go on a second date with him. One thing I wanted him to know was that just because we are taking it slow doesn't mean he can kiss me whenever he feels like it. I hope he knows this because I want to be sure he's not like other men, men who just want to hook up and get laid. If he wants sex, he's not going to get it. Never on the first or second night or even in the first month of our relationship.

One thing I was anxious about him seeing was my suicide attempt scar, which I know would shock him and I would be forced to tell him the story. That's why I wear long-sleeved tops to disguise the scar that will forever be etched on my arm.

Tonight will be our second date, I just hope Jeremy proves to be the fine gentleman he appears to be and not a fake.

* * *

Olivia spends time in her bedroom, sitting in front of the mirror and titivating herself in preparation for her second date with Jeremy. She did check her long scar on her arm and she could see that although the stitches were gone, there was still a long bulging red mark. Not even the make up in Olivia's possession was enough to cover it, which was why she decided to put on her oversized cable black-wooly sweater. Her other articles of clothing included tight jeans, not wanting to show her legs on a second date and of course it was still pretty chilly in the evening. She decided to wear different shoes this time around, she chose her black kitten heels, believing they would show a bit more class and make her look presentable for Jeremy.

Unexpectedly the doorbell rung, which didn't shock Olivia in the least and subsequently without a knock on the door, Laura appeared at Olivia's doorway.

„Liv, Jeremy's here," informed Laura.

„Tell him to wait, I'll be there shortly," responded Olivia, brushing her eyelashes with mascara.

Olivia embellished her face with makeup, all except her lips, which she was saving last. Unsure what she wanted to apply on her lips, she browsed through her lipsticks. Lips that were too red wasn't her style, rather than paint her lips she liked to gloss them. On this occasion just to get a reaction from Jeremy, she decided to go for the reddest lipstick in her collection. She got rid of lipsticks and other costmetics that were too bright red because they triggered her anxiety and reminded her of blood. She selected a Rosewood rouge and then went over it with gloss.

Looking in the mirror with her colored in lips, Olivia rested her elbow on her dressing table and rested her chin on her palm while looking in the mirror.

Olivia stared at her reflection in the mirror, air-kissed and said, „Let's see how you like this, Jeremy."

Olivia walked into the longe casually where she could hear Jeremy talk to Laura and Marina. They were both sitting on the couch with Jeremy in the middle. Their conversation was buoyant and coquettish, even touching Jeremy's lap. She could hear her name and about the date she previously had and what Jeremy expects from the second date.

„Liv, you look so pretty," astonished Marina.

„I agree, you look gorgeous Liv," said Laura.

„Thanks girls," smiled Olivia.

Jeremy approached Olivia with flabbergasted look on his face, obviously stunned by Olivia's adorned face. He had a single dark-red rose in his hand, which he looked at before handing it to Olivia.

„This is for you Olivia."

„Thank you Jeremy, that's very nice of you," responded Olivia gratefully with awe, looking Jeremy in the eyes.

The look on Jeremy's face did look like he was expecting a kiss or some loving contact from Olivia. Laura and Marina still sat on the couch were smiling in anticipation, hoping to see Jeremy and Olivia kiss. Not wanting an audience, Olivia instead hugged Jeremy warmly.

„So what are you two doing tonight?" asked Laura curiously.

„We're going to go see a movie," replied Jeremy, still peering into Olivia's eyes.

„Oh what film?" asked Marina intriguingly.

„We are going to see Beauty and the Beast," announced Jeremy with a mischievous tone.

„Oh how romantic, but that film came out recently. Wouldn't it be hard to get in?" questioned Laura.

„That wont be a problem, I've already booked us tickets," grinned Jeremy.

„Sounds good, are you excited Olivia?" asked Marina.

„Yeah, I guess so," responded Olivia, smiling enthusiastically while looking into Jeremy's eyes.

„Are you going to see the movie in 3D?" asked Marina.

„You bet," responded Jeremy, digging into his pocket and whipping out a pair of old green and red 3D glasses and putting them on, „I came prepared."

Laura and Marina laughed at Jeremy with 3D glasses on and smiling. Olivia laughed too and lightly tapped Jeremy in the arm.

* * *

Olivia and Jeremy took a happy stroll downtown where the sun was setting and saturating its beautiful radiant golden light over the city. Really setting the entire romantic mood for a seemingly romantic evening.

When they arrived at the cinema, the whole establishment was crowded by people of all ages. It was clear that other customers were here to see Beauty and the Beast too, knowing how well the film was marketed and expected to be a hit.

„Do you like popcorn Olivia?" asked Jeremy.

„Yeah I do," beamed Olivia.

Olivia was smiling in anticipation, eagerness to watch the film. She always thought seeing films on the big screen was a way for her to unwind and renovate herself, before walking out into the real world feeling fresh as a daisy.

Jeremy got the popcorn and beverages and they both walked into the auditorium where it was dark and hard to find their seats printed on their tickets.

When the movie started, Olivia and Jeremy were sat and invested in the movie, munching on popcorn and moistening their mouths with their beverages. Jeremy was tempted to look at Olivia just to see if she was looking at him, even tempted to try and touch her hand, but he was too gentleman and respectful to try anything daring or impertinent. He just kept his eyes on the screen and tried to focus on the movie and resist any temptation, trying to ignore the fact Olivia was sitting next to him. Olivia was immersed in the movie and liked what she was seeing so far, a faithful adaptation to the Disney classic she held a lot of nostalgic memories for as a little girl. As Belle started to develop feelings for the beast and become attached to him, Olivia started to compare herself to Belle and Jeremy as the beast. Not that Jeremy was ill-tempered and obnoxious like the beast, but rather how Belle was able to see the beauty in the beast despite his monstrous and animalistic appearance. Seeing Belle and the Beast dance in the ballroom almost brought her to move her hand towards Jeremy's.

After the film finished, Olivia and Jeremy remained seated while they waited for the other members of the audience to leave the auditorium. They waited until the end credits finished and the main lights in the auditorium light the room.

Jeremy looked at Olivia's blissful face still gazing at the blank screen and asked, „You ready Olivia?"

Olivia slowly turned her head to look at Jeremy with a smile and responded, „Ready."

Olivia and Jeremy got up with a bag of uneaten popcorn and made their way outside to reflect on the experience of sitting through the movie. When they were out in the streets and relishing in the fresh air, they started talking lively and openly about the movie.

„So what did you think of the movie?" asked Jeremy.

„I thought it was good, what about you?" asked Olivia.

„Yeah I liked it too, I really liked Ewan McGregor and Sir Ian McKellen's performances, they really had chemistry as the duo."

„Oh and Ewan McGregor's cheesy attempt at a French accent, I'll give him that."

„Well you're right about that, which is why he's one of the greats and you can't go wrong with Sir Ian McKellen."

„Oh Gandalf the Grey that's all I remember him in."

„He was in Xmen, he was Magneto."

„Magneto, he's the…"

„The one who can move and control metal."

Olivia's face turned to shock.

„Oh really, I thought you meant Wolverine."

„No Olivia, that was Hugh Jackman."

„Oh Hugh Jackman he's such a hottie."

„Hairy like a beast isn't he? That's why you like him so much."

Olivia frowned at Jeremy sarcastically, she grabbed a handful of popcorn and flung it at Jeremy who flinched and laughed in response.

* * *

Olivia and Jeremy both walked back to Olivia's flat where they halted and turned to face each other.

„Well Olivia I had such a wonderful time tonight."

Olivia smiled and responded, „Same here."

Olivia moved closer to Jeremy, looking like she was about to kiss him to conclude the date. Jeremy was predicting a kiss, but instead Olivia's eyes swayed from Jeremy's and focused on the left side of his head.

„You got a bit of popcorn in your hair," pointed out Olivia, picking the popcorn out of Jeremy's hair and putting it in his mouth.

„It's sweet on my tongue," remarked Jeremy in a whimsical tone, which made Olivia laugh.

Olivia brushed little specs of popcorn of Jeremy's shoulders before looking at him again in the eyes with a flirtatious look.

Unwilling to end the date after a trip back from the movies, Olivia offered, „You want to come inside for a drink?"

„Sure Olivia, I would love to," thrilled Jeremy.

* * *

Olivia invited Jeremy back up to the apartment where she saw no one was home and they had the place to themselves.

„I've got non-alcoholic wine, is that okay with you?" asked Olivia.

„Yeah that sounds nice," approved Jeremy.

As part of Olivia's recovery, she was prescribed medication, which was why she couldn't drink any alcohol.

„I think I got some alcoholic wine or beer in the fridge, would you prefer to drink that?" wondered Olivia, still rummaging in the kitchen.

„No it's okay thank you, non-alcoholic wine sounds perfect," declined Jeremy, sitting on the couch waiting for Olivia. Jeremy tipped the rest of the popcorn in a bowel for them to snack on with their drink.

Olivia returned with two glasses and a bottle of non-alcoholic wine in her hands. She sat on the left side of the couch, poured the wine and handed Jeremy his glass.

„Cheers," said Jeremy, holding out his glass with a wide smile.

„Cheers," responded Olivia, adorning a smile.

They tapped their glasses together and begun a normal intimate conversation in a dim candle-lit lounge. Jeremy turned to look at Olivia with his feet on the floor, legs crossed and arm resting on the back of the couch. Olivia sat side-saddle, barefoot and had her elbow resting on the back of the couch while talking to Jeremy.

„You have a really nice place Olivia," complimented Jeremy.

„Please Jeremy, you can call me Liv you know, everyone does," insisted Olivia.

„Okay Liv, sounds like the word ‚Live' like the verbal form for ‚Life', pretty funny if you ask me."

Olivia nipped her wine and perplexed, „What's wrong with Liv?"

„Nothing, it's just I always thought Olivia is a very pretty name."

Olivia laughed feeling flattered.

„Thank you, I always associated the name Jeremy with a jerry can or the mouse Jerrry."

„Oh yes Tom and Jerry, that cartoon is a classic. I don't know why, but I sympathized with Tom more than I did with Jeremy. I always thought Tom was the real victim of Jerry's abuse."

„Didn't Tom try to catch and eat Jerry?"

„He did, but I always liked to think it was because he wanted revenge on Jerry. Then again they weren't always enemies, they were on occasions friends and that's what I preferred."

Olivia unable to think of anything, changes the subject and musters the courage to ask Jeremy a personal question regarding her, which she always felt nervous asking.

„So Jeremy… you don't mind if I ask you something?"

„Ask me anything Liv."

„What is it you like about me?"

„Well I kind of like your personality, you have this snarky imperious demeanor, which to be honest I always thought was cute."

Olivia laughed and asked, „No I don't believe that."

„No it's true, I'm being honest. I always loved the way you dominate your friends and assume leadership. You're like a real princess, a warrior princess, like Xena."

Olivia slowly raised a wide smile on her face and simpered, „No come on, you just like my appearance."

Olivia's suspicion stirred a conspicuous reaction proving that she was somewhat right. Jeremy begun to stutter as he begun to truly open up to Olivia.

„Well that too… I mean of course I like your looks… you erm… you look really beautiful."

This confession lightened Olivia's eyes and make her giggle, she begun to play with her hair and give him seductive looks.

„See I knew it, it's all because I turn you on," debunked Olivia.

„No I really do like your personality, but I do find you beautiful too. It's just even when you're not smiling, you're still very beautiful to look at."

Olivia frowned and asked caustically, „Oh really?" Olivia then started to pull a face and ask, „How about now?"

„Still beautiful," enamored Jeremy.

Olivia pulled another face she could improvise, „Okay what about now?"

„Olivia you can pull any face at me you want, it doesn't change my opinion about you."

„What do you like about me appearance-wise?" Olivia rested her head on the back of the couch, playing with her hair and her eyes fixed on Jeremy.

„I guess it's your eyes, your pretty sparkly blue eyes, like sapphires. Your blonde, no… golden hair, so light and shimmering and your…" Jeremy glanced at Olivia move her mouth elegantly and provocatively.

„Come on, what's on your mind?" pressured Olivia, knowing Jeremy had something to hide.

„Nothing it's just that."

„You're looking at me lips. You like looking at my lips."

„Well I er…."

„You think about kissing them don't you?"

„I will admit I do think about that kiss."

Olivia jolted with exultation knowing she was right all along.

„Ha caught you out, you think about kissing them do you?"

„I do it's just I…"

„You want my lips?" teased Olivia, seeing Jeremy acting aroused.

„Yeah," swooned Jeremy.

Olivia backed herself away from Jeremy to the other end of the couch. She looked at Jeremy with her captivated smile and incited, „Well come and get them then."

Jeremy overcome with lust for Olivia's enticing lips, dived towards her. Olivia opened herself to Jeremy and allowed him to kiss her lips and lay on top of her. They snuggled and kissed, lavishing in caresses and each other's lips. Jeremy was especially relishing in Olivia's mouth and holding her body.

Olivia lay her arms above her head and opened her palms, allowing Jeremy to place his hands in them. His hand slid down Olivia's left arm where the sleeve had rolled up, exposing her scar. When Jeremy's fingers were touching Olivia's scar and he was running his fingers up and down, obviously feeling something rigid. Olivia then pulled back and lightly pushed Jeremy away.

„No, you can't do that," horrified Olivia, sitting herself back up and rolling her sleeve down.

Jeremy only getting to see a red mark on Olivia's left arm before she covered it with her long sleeve, he commiserated, „What's the matter?"

„Jeremy, just no okay, it's just no. Don't do that," shuddered Olivia, without looking at Jeremy.

„What's wrong with your arm? What are you trying to hide?"

„Nothing Jeremy, really. I just don't think you'll like what you'll see."

Jeremy saw the scared look on Olivia's face, rocking back and forth and shivering. He placed his hand on her lap and said softly and soothly, „It's okay Olivia, I'm not afraid."

Olivia still really shook up, slowly turned her head to look at Jeremy and whispered, „You sure you want to see it?"

Jeremy looked deep into Olivia's petrified eyes, leaned closer and said, „Only if you want to show it to me."

Olivia breathed in deep through her nostrils and out, before she looked down at her arm and slowly peeled her sleeve back, exposing her arm.

Jeremy's face was horrified and in shock, seeing the long red scar on Olivia's arm that ran from her wrist to her elbow joint chilled him to the bone.

"Oh my… what happened Liv?" murmured Jeremy.

Olivia hesitated, speculating whether she should tell Jeremy and as truthfully as possible. She moistened her lips with her tongue, filled her lungs with air and turned to look at Jeremy.

"I... I... I tried to kill myself," confessed Olivia arduously.

"Why?... if I may ask."

"It's long and complicated, but I can tell you if you want to hear it."

"Only if you want to," whispered Jeremy benevolently.

"Would you hold me?" asked Olivia anxiously.

"Of course," agreed Jeremy passionately.

Olivia leaned into Jeremy's arms and rested her head into his chest, while she begun to compile a story why she attempted suicide.

"I'm not sure where I should begin," mused Olivia.

"Take your time," coaxed Jeremy while playing with Olivia's hair.

"I guess I should begin where it all went wrong or at least wasn't the same again. Everything before then was great, I had friends and we got our own place, but then she came along."

"Who?"

"Marina, she came into our lives and interfered. At first she was stalking Laura, even invited herself to Laura's birthday party, which Laura of course lied to her about just to get her out of the way. Laura being Laura, felt really guilty and tried to help Marina. I warned her that Marina isn't right and she could be potentially dangerous."

"In what way dangerous?"

"I don't know, she posted creepy horrific things on her Facebook wall. Just by looking at it I knew there was something about her that couldn't be trusted. All I did was try to protect Laura from Marina because I feared she could get hurt. However I would learn that Laura has been having secret meetings, until I would learn the shocking truth that Laura and Marina were going out. Yes it is what you think, Laura turned out to be a lesbian. For Laura's sake I tried to tolerate her relationship with Marina, but then I started to feel ignored and excluded. Laura was spending more time with Marina and Isabel was too busy with Gus. Of course I could have spent time with Kobe, but I wasn't too fond of him. Mainly because he had the hots for Laura and was clearly trying to bed her.

Feeling lonely and isolated, I started to resent Marina for stealing Laura and Isabel from me, I unsuccessfully attempted to sabotage her relationship with Laura. Feeling really defeated and unloved, I didn't want to live anymore. I just wanted the pain to end, which was why I attempted to suicide. I wanted to be free. No more crying myself to sleep and having a big hole in my chest. I just couldn't take it." Olivia starts to cry with tears rolling down her face. "Only after lacking the courage to cut down my arm did I finally do it. It was gratifying at first knowing I did it, but when blood starting flowing out my arm, did I realize my mistake. I never saw so much blood in my life. It was clear I was going to die, but not the way I hoped. I hoped I would die quickly and pass out, but I didn't. Blood was everywhere, all over the floor and I was watching blood pour out my arm. I was so scared, I realized what a big mistake I made. I wanted to live, I didn't care, I wanted to live. It was only then did I realize how selfish I was and how I took all I had for granted. I should have told my friends how I was feeling. They obviously did care for me and it wasn't them excluding or ignoring me, it was me, only me. Only because I despised Marina did I not want to be part of the group anymore. I was the one who hurt them when all they wanted to do was help me. Oh I felt so selfish, I really was a jealous selfish bitch," bawled Olivia, self-deprecating herself.

"No Liv, you're not a bitch. It's okay if you were a little jealous. We've all been there too. You're here and I'm happy you're here. I would have been there to help you, I just wish you talked to me," soothed Jeremy.

"I was such a bitch to you, I wanted you out of my life and it was wrong of me to judge you," cried Olivia.

"Liv it's okay, I forgive you for your attitude. Really I do. Whenever I saw you with your friends I saw you smile and I loved seeing you smile. However I saw you one time sitting with your friends and I saw how quiet and less engaging you were. I hinted that maybe you were sad and I wanted to try and make you happy again. That's why I asked you out on a date, I wanted to make you feel special."

"Jeremy," sniveled Olivia, looking up at Jeremy with tears in her eyes.

"Here," Jeremy reached for the box of tissues, grabbed a tissue out of the box and proceeded to dry Olivia's face, "Let's dry your face."

Olivia sat back up and wiped her nose with the tissue she used to clean her face, only to see Jeremy looking timid and concerned about something.

"Jeremy, what's wrong?"

"Liv, I think I should tell you something about me, well actually show you something," fretted Jeremy.

"Show me what?"

Like Olivia, Jeremy breathed in deep and breathed out his nostrils before raising up his right arm. One thing Olivia always recognized was that Jeremy wore a watch on his right arm. Unlike any watch it had a broad strap, which was almost wider than the watch case. Olivia watched Jeremy slowly undo the buckle and remove the watch to manifest what was underneath. Holding his wrist in the light so Olivia could see, she was shocked to see two healed horizontal scars on his wrist.

"I attempted suicide too," revealed Jeremy.

Olivia still in disbelief upon discovering Jeremy also attempted suicide, asked, "Why?"

"I don't think you'll like to hear my story, it might change the way you think about me."

Olivia smiled, moved closer to Jeremy and placed her hand on his and assuaged, "It's okay, I'm ready for anything."

Jeremy pressed his top teeth down on his bottom lip and said, "Okay I can tell you if you want, but it's a long story."

Olivia bestowed Jeremy with another secure smile, stroked his hand and said, "I'm listening."

**To be continued...**


	7. Chapter 7: A Dark Secret

**Chapter 7: A Dark Secret**

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 19th of March 2017**

Only getting to know someone do we know so much about them, but then we uncover something about them we do not wish to know. I'm talking about Jeremy here, yes the man who has been stalking me all because he wanted to go on a date with me. Now that I've opened up a little to him and we shared a kiss more than once, I would then hear his backstory, which I will never forget. They do say that you'll never look at that person the same way again, once you've discovered a dark secret they've been hiding. That is true. After listening to Jeremy, I would not only have a different aspect of him, but of myself too and why I've been too blind to see through the pain of others.

* * *

"Olivia... Liv sorry, what I'm about to tell you is something I don't tell many people. Mainly because I don't want people getting the wrong idea about me. I know what I did and I know it was wrong, but it's not who I am," fretted Jeremy.

"What was it you did?" asked Olivia sympathetically.

"It happened when I was still living in the UK. I was young then and was still in school. You could say I was naive and gullible, but for someone of my age that was considered normal."

"Did you have any friends?"

"I did, I had a big group of friends. We stuck together and did everything together, all the way to our GCSE exams."

"Do you still keep in contact with them?"

Jeremy licked his lips before answering, displaying a sweet nostalgia upon ruminating on happy memories.

"Yeah, I have them on Facebook and send them birthday Messages, but they never came here to visit. They are all getting on with their own lives in the UK."

"So what happened? Why did it all go wrong?"

"Well you might be surprised to know I never got bullied at school."

Olivia slipped back on the couch with her eyes wide open and frowning in surprise and confusion.

"No… never, not even once?"

"Well I'll get to that in a bit. After I completed my GCSEs, all of my friends went off to college, while I decided to pursue sixth form."

"Sixth form," baffled Olivia.

"Kind of like college, but with a limit of qualifications. I believe you Americans call it 12th grade."

"Oh I see… so why didn't you go to college so you could be with your friends?"

"Even if I went to college I wouldn't be as close to my friends as I used to. They went to different colleges, so it meant they had to relocate. I wanted to go to college, but my parents insisted I further my education by attending sixth form. This was incase I needed to look for other jobs should my acting career not prosper."

"But you really wanted to do acting because it's a subject that always interested you?"

"I was always into acting, drama was my favorite lesson. When I wasn't doing drama I was acting in the playground and taking part in any groups that did reenactments or anything, which involved roleplaying or any kind of make-belief. You guessed it, I was renowned and revered as the best actor in school, I really felt like a celebrity. However, that all changed once I changed schools and went to sixth form in Reading."

"Reading?"

"Another town in England, not far from Oxford. Anyway I begun sixth form feeling extremely optimistic and confident I would make new friends, but that wasn't the case. I made many attempts to introduce myself and fit in, but new faces weren't friendly or welcoming. I did try to win their respect by putting on a show and I would get the attention I was hoping, but not from those who I thought automatically respected me. There was a group of boys who I thought initiated me as their new member, but little did I know their intentions weren't good."

"They turned out to be bullies?"

"Correct, but the thing was I didn't know it. They only pretended to be my friends, only for their own sick amusements. Not only would they ask me to put on a show for them at random, but also to humiliate myself in front of everyone."

Olivia's jaw dropped and she frowned, unable to understand why Jeremy would comply to such humiliating acts and sell his dignity.

"Why didn't you say no?"

"I did. I even objected, but whenever I did that they would call me boring and ditch me."

Olivia feeling the pain Jeremy was feeling, felt sympathy in her heart and expressed, "Jeremy, I'm sorry this happened to you."

"If that wasn't worse, I went to further limits to please them, even letting them milk off of me. They even got me drunk, so drunk I passed out. When I woke in my bed with a bad hangover, I remember my parents telling me I reeked of urine. At first I thought I wet myself because I was drunk, but I was told it was in my hair. Not only was urine found it my hair, but also my wallet was empty. My money, my cards, everything was gone. Not one of them called my parents to tell them I was drunk and needed taking home, my parents came and found me and took me home. They told me I was alone when they found me and that the group I told them I was with vanished. That's when it became clear to me that they weren't my friends and I agreed with my parents to break off the friendship."

"And did you?"

"Well sort of. I told them I didn't want to be friends anymore and all they would do was apologize and told me it was a joke. I let them say what they wanted to say and I forgave them. However, the constant bullying and harassment didn't stop. They pretended to be my friend and all I did was try to be polite, but keep them at arms length. They even offered me to hang out with them again, but I politely turned down their invitation. It should have stopped there, but it didn't. They took every opportunity to bully and ridicule me when I was alone, only this time, it was more overt and not insidious."

"Why didn't you do anything about it? Why didn't you report them? You should have just reported them."

"Yeah you're right, I should have done something about it. I was too forgiving and believed there was still good in them, but damn was I a fool. I reveled in their attention and it only made the things worse."

"Surely there was someone who witnessed the bullying and would have took it up with the principal."

"The sixth form class was small, which made up of the group, me and this other female student whom I had a crush on."

Olivia's face froze in bewilderment, but then grinned and questioned, "There was this other girl?"

"Yeah, someone who I thought cared."

"But she didn't?"

"Well first I thought she was helping me and getting me to confide in her, but then I noticed something about her, which convinced me I was wrong about her. The girl whom I crushed on, who I generally believed was sweet, compassionate and ardent I discovered was secretly associating herself with my bullies. I would see her getting all... I don't know how to say this... but she was a..."

"Slut," remarked Olivia.

Jeremy held his breath and breathed out to confirm Olivia's statement, "I guess that's the honest way to put it. I saw her getting intimate and pampering them. If i must be specific, I saw her giving one of them a head massage. While I always get blown off whenever I offered her to hang out or gently rebuffed when I tried to approach her. She pretended to defend me against those bullies yet she treats them with favor and affection. All she wanted from me was the 411."

"What a bitch," condemned Olivia, sounding disgusted.

"Yeah I guess that's right. Because of her I developed cynicism, trust issues. I could never look at her in the same way again, let alone anyone who conveys kindness and ardor."

"Well I hope she got what was coming to her."

"Unfortunately I would never know what happened to her, probably round up in a lot of abusive relationships I imagine."

"So what happened in the end to your bullies?"

Jeremy adjusted his sitting position, cleared his throat and moistened his lips. Signifying that this was going to be the most painful part for him. Finding the courage, he took one long deep breath and breathed out before divulging Olivia the horrifying outcome he feared he would have to tell her someday.

"As you should know and so should everyone, every human has a breaking point. There's only so much abuse you can take until it becomes too much until you snap. Lets say it just happened and all I could see was red. Already in a foul mood, I walked down the corridor where I passed the group of bullies making fun of me as I walked past. All of a sudden I felt something splash on my back, one of them threw their milkshake at me. I knew whose milkshake it was as I turned to see the one who had a milkshake in his hand before I walked past and I immediately suspected it was him. While they laughed, the rage inside me boiled and I charged at the one who I suspected threw his milkshake at me. I only remember vividly what I did, all I knew was I hit him and I just couldn't stop. One tried to intervene and I threw my head into his mouth. The rest of the gang just scattered and the next thing I knew, I had a teacher and a couple of other students pull me off. I was pinned down onto the floor until the police arrived to take me to the station where I would be questioned."

Olivia was petrified, knowing that Jeremy who she thought was a gentle soul who wouldn't hurt a fly could eventually lose control and react so violently.

"So what happened next?"

"Well I had to sit in a cell before my parents would come to the station and join me during an interview. I gave them my side of the story and explain that I was in a fit of rage, which motivated me. I would then be informed that the first person I assaulted sustained serious damage to his eye."

"You mean he got a black eye?"

"A black eye no, he got worse than that. He would never see out of that eye again and it was all because of me."

Olivia gasped in horror.

"I know right, and the one who intervened and I head-butted, lost teeth. So I was charged with two counts of grievous bodily harm. I was told that the penalty would involve a prison sentence and an unlimited fine. This was when I begun to panic and fear the possibility that I would be going to prison."

"Is that when you attempted suicide?" reluctantly asked Olivia, already feeling bad for asking him such a personal question.

"Well no, it was also regarding something else. Shortly after I was released from the police station I did something else so heinous, something I regret and will never forget." Jeremy took a long pause before resuming his story, which involves another painful memory, getting emotional along the way.

"I had a cat you see, well he was my sister's cat to be precise. This cat had behavioral problems, he was unpredictably aggressive and would attack without provocation. This was another thing I tolerated for so long. I endured many scratch and bite marks, but then it got to the point where I had enough. One time he attacked me when I was in doldrums and agitation. I was trying to calm down and fight off anger, but unfortunately that all failed when my cat approached me. It looked like he came to cheer me up, but when it sat on its legs, I should have noticed when he hunched its back. He jumped and attacked my arms and this was the final straw. In a fit of rage I kicked him and he went flying across the room and slammed into a wall. It lay on its side and screamed in pain, which I'll never forget how long he screamed for and how it would become something I could not undo or erase from my memory. My parents found him and rushed him to the vets where it was clear there was no saving him and he had to be put down. My sister was angry at me and my parents rebuked me for my action. As an act of remorse and atonement, I became a vegetarian and I volunteer at the animal shelter regularly."

"Jeremy I... I can understand you were angry and you didn't mean to kill your cat. I've been angry before and have done things I regret. Well I've never taken a life or hurt anyone, but I regret the destruction I made during my tantrum."

"Taking a life even if it wasn't human is still something hard to live with and come to terms with. You never truly get over it, which is why I can never trust myself to have another pet again."

"Was that another reason you committed suicide?"

"Living with the guilt of killing my cat was one psychological blow to me and so was the court case where I would be tried for two counts of grievous bodily harm. Unable to take the pain and accept the fact I'll be going to prison, I took a razor blade and slashed my wrist. I was surprised how only a small amount of blood came out of my wrist, so I slashed my wrist again and this time I cut deeper and more blood spilled. Luckily my parents found me and stopped me from cutting myself again.

While I was in hospital having my wrists bandaged, my dad told me the good news. Since he's a lawyer he was able to gather enough evidence against my bullies. He didn't tell me what it was, but he told me it was enough to get them to agree to drop their case. I had avoided a prison sentence and a law suit that would have followed, but the only catch was that I would never be allowed to enroll in any school, college or any place of education again in the entire region of the UK. That was when my parents decided to move us to the United States and begin a new life, where I could recover and get my life together. Rather than do sixth form again, my dad allowed me to go to college and do performing arts, which is where I am now. I quickly made new friends, I am doing what I like doing and we are here sitting and drinking wine, I could never be happier."

"Oh Jeremy," flattered Olivia, placing her hand into Jeremy's. "Thank you for opening up and sharing yourself with me."

Jeremy looked at Olivia, peered into her eyes and said, "You're welcome Liv, we both seem connected. We both had hard times and we have a scar to remind ourselves that it does get better. I had to learn the hard way that some people are not only unworthy of attention, but also unworthy of our time. I also learnt that if you want an audience, be prepared for any response, positive or negative. If your audience doesn't like you, it's better to leave the stage."

"Can't argue with you on that one," agreed Olivia. Unable to extend the subject, Olivia hesitated before revealing Jeremy another secret, "You know... this isn't the only scar I have."

"No?" perplexed Jeremy.

"It's an operation scar, not a suicide scar. Here I'll show you," said Olivia, as she lifted up her sweater, exposing her naked back to Jeremy. "It's an old scar you see, I used to have scoliosis. I used to walk funny because I had a crooked back and have a hunch on my back." Jeremy touched Olivia's operation scar which was a long white vertical line that ran from the base of her spine and up to her loin. "Jeremy that tickles," giggled Olivia, pulling down her sweater and resting her back on the couch.

"Sorry Liv."

"No it's okay... you know I've been a victim of bullying before. I was picked on because I had scoliosis," revealed Olivia, as she poignantly narrated her story to Jeremy. "Whenever I went to school, I would always get comments with the way I looked, even getting nicknames like Quasimodo or Humpy. I was even compared to a camel, which really hurt my feelings. Not being treated like a human and being treated like an animal." Olivia wiped her eyes with her hand and mumbling her words. "This was after Laura and Isabel moved away and I went to school alone with no friends. Because I was bullied I struggled through school. My parents pulled me out and I was homeschooled. Years later after my scoliosis condition got better and I was cured, I resumed school and graduated. After that I would join Laura and Isabel in California, which would help me emotionally recover from the ordeal."

"Liv I'm so sorry to hear you were bullied," consoled Jeremy, "But look on the bright side, at least you reunited with your old friends and you've grown into a beautiful lady."

Olivia laughed through her closed smiling lips and responded, "Thank you Jeremy."

After Olivia and Jeremy riveted into each other's eyes, Olivia started to feel hot under her sweater.

"You know something? It's really stuffy in here," expressed Olivia.

Olivia stripped off her sweater and walked into the corner to grab crimson shirt off the clothes horse. Jeremy gazed at seeing Olivia wearing her bra and was aroused to see more of Olivia's serene skin.

"Are you looking at me?" questioned Olivia rather disapprovingly while threading her arms through the sleeves of the shirt. She looked down to see her breasts and suspected Jeremy was looking at them. "Do you like my breasts, do you like looking at them?" asked Olivia with a smile.

"Yeah," answered Jeremy with a mischievous smile.

"Well too bad," teased Olivia, pulling short sleeved shirt over her head and covering her bra. The shirt was skin tight and short and her belly was showing, it gave her a rather skimpy and provocative look.

Olivia cat-walked to Jeremy while brushing her hair back with her hands. She sat back on the couch and wrapped her arms around Jeremy's neck and said, "Now, where were we?"

"We were kissing," quipped Jeremy.

Olivia and Jeremy resumed kissing. They lay on the couch with Olivia on top of Jeremy. He placed his hands on Olivia's uncovered skin above her waist and Olivia dug her hands in Jeremy's thick hair. Together they divulged each other's tragic and detrimental backstories and the only way forward to a better future was a new beginning. Rather than brood in a corner and mediate on old scars, they chose to let old scars heal, let go of the past and revel in the moment. Only by tasting each other's lips and caressing each other's bodies did their open wounds slowly close and cleanse their souls.

Olivia opened her eyes and caught a glimpse of Laura and Marina snickering while watching Olivia and Jeremy make out.

This made Olivia tear her lips away from Jeremy and rebuke, "Get out of here you two, this is no peep show."

**To be continued...**


	8. Chapter 8: Solace

**Chapter 8: Solace**

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 25th of March**

Jeremy divulging himself to me taught me a lot. His disconcerting and tragic story has been a real eye opener for me and changed my view about life and society. It also helped me to understand the pain of others and how I've been so focused on my pain. I thought I had it bad when really Jeremy had it worse than me. Jeremy only went through a naive phase, which caused him psychological scars when my psychological scars were a result of me taking everything I had for granted.

I know they say that opening up to others about your problems and worries is liberating and it really was. Not only sharing myself with my therapist, but also with Jeremy. However, it wasn't enough to tackle the side effects I have developed from my failed suicide attempt, I've been having problems with PTSD too.

Living with the effects of surviving near death experience has never been easy for me. I still have nightmares about the whole ordeal, even nightmares about what would have happened should I not have survived. What if Isabel and Gus weren't there at the time? I could see the tears on my friends and how they mourn for my death.

If that's not worse, I dream about scenarios where I'm back in my apartment and I see my friends who barely notice me. They all look robotic and disheveled. Eventually it leads to seeing them slowly rotting and turning into walking corpses. I even remember seeing Isabel mimic my suicide attempt by cutting down her arm, and I get a first person perspective what it looks like to cut deep down your arm.

Another horrifying nightmare I had one time was being in a funeral setting and seeing my friends and family (even Jeremy) shedding tears. They were surrounded around my coffin, which for some reason I could see through and I would be lowered into my grave and buried alive. The worst that was to come was I would feel live maggots eat away at my flesh, which really horrified me. I always hated maggots. This would result in me waking up, unable to breath and sweat profusely. When I did catch my breath again I would be screaming, which would wake up my friends. My friends would always be concerned and would comfort me. They would even make me cacao and I would tell them about the nightmare I had. This was when they suggested more about the idea I start seeing someone, even consider Jeremy whom they suggest I have a coffee date with. Now that I've revealed my secret to Jeremy and we've kissed more than once, I started to enjoy his company. Then there would be a time when I valued his company more and needed him to hold me.

* * *

"Did you get the stuff?" asked Olivia, laying out the cooking utensils.

"What stuff?" asked Jeremy, with his arms hugging two grocery bags in each arm.

Olivia looked at him confusingly and enunciated, "The groceries we need?"

"Oh I thought you meant the yeyo."

"Oh ha ha Jeremy, you've been watching too much Scarface."

"Scarface?"

Olivia playfully pointed a knife in his direction and playfully mocked, "Don't play dumb Jeremy, you reference that film all the time."

"Well have you met and said hello to my little friend yet?"

Olivia frowned at Jeremy while Jeremy grinned. In response Olivia got a kitchen towel and whipped Jeremy's hip.

"Fuck off Jeremy you pervert... just unpack the groceries and help with cooking. After all, you know the recipe," ordered Olivia with a friendly smile.

Jeremy did like to taunt and tantalize, expecting a reaction from Olivia or receive love-taps from her. He told her more than once that she's cute when she's angry.

"Where do you want the granola bars?" asked Jeremy while unpacking.

"I don't know, wherever granola bars go. As long as they are not in the fridge," answered Olivia sarcastically, finding Jeremy's question insensate.

"Cupboards it is then."

The kitchen workplace was set and ready to make Jeremy's favorite vegetarian dish, vegetable curry. The most strenuous and messiest took priority and that was chopping up the vegetables. Olivia volunteered to chop the vegetables, despite she still had a fear of knives and other sharp objects. She wanted to try and overcome her fear, which was why she volunteered. Halfway in cutting the vegetables, while Jeremy was preparing the curry sauce. Jeremy was already seeing signs that Olivia was being reckless with cutting the carrots into thin sticks.

"You sure you want to cut the vegetables, would you rather I did it?" offered Jeremy, looking concerned with how Olivia pressed down the blade into the carrots instead of slicing them, unlike a professional chef would do.

"No thank you, I'm fine," declined Olivia, displaying bravado and determination to resume.

"Okay." Jeremy looked away and tried to focus on making curry and boiling the rice. He did glimpse at Olivia, really concerned that she might accidentally cut herself or worse, cut off a finger or thumb.

As the rice started to boil, Jeremy witnessed Olivia pressing her palm down on the spine of the knife just to cut through the carrot. This deeply concerned Jeremy and he asked again, "You sure you don't want help cutting the carrots?"

Olivia turned her head to look at Jeremy and assert aggressively, "Look Jeremy, I can do it okay. Stop worrying about me and treating me like a child, because I'm getting sick of your..." Olivia felt an acute sharpness in her finger it made her jolt and drop the knife, raise her finger to her face and gasp, "Oh no, I cut myself." Blood seeped out of her cut finger and trickled fast down her arm. The sight of blood caused her to feel nauseous and feel woozy.

Unable to keep balance, Olivia plummeted to the floor, but Jeremy caught her.

"Liv it's alright, I got you. You're safe," comforted Jeremy, holding Olivia in his arms firmly and securely.

Olivia went white with fear, she was shaking and whimpering.

"Liv it's okay, I promise you it's only a cut," Jeremy's coaxing words weren't enough to abate Olivia's hysteria.

Jeremy quickly grabbed a kitchen towel off the roll-holder and sat with Olivia on the ground still holding her in his arms.

"Stay with me Liv, you're going to be okay. It's just a little cut, you're not going to die. Please let me see it," pleaded Jeremy, trying to get Olivia to open her hand around her finger so it could be treated. Olivia was stubborn in opening her hand, she cried, worrying she was going to lose more blood. "Liv please, it needs to be treated otherwise it will get infected and it will need to be amputated. Just please, close your eyes and let me see it, trust me and it will all be over," pleaded Jeremy.

Olivia complied and closed her eyes, slowly relieving pressure off her cut finger and allowing Jeremy to look at it.

Jeremy examined the cut that moist with blood and said, "Okay it's not too deep, it's not going to need stitches. It should heal naturally." Pressing the paper towel around Olivia's finger. "Here hold it, I'm going to go and get a bandaid." Jeremy got on his feet, only to be pulled down by Olivia.

"Jeremy, please don't leave me," pleaded Olivia.

"Liv, it's going to be okay. I'll be back, I promise. I'm not going anywhere," soothed Jeremy with a warm loving smile and kissing Olivia on the head, which calmed her and made her smile too.

Jeremy was back in less than a minute with three objects in his hand. One was a disinfectant spray, second was cotton wool and third was a bandaid. First Jeremy disinfected Olivia's cut, then wiped the blood away with the cotton wool and then applied the bandaid over the cut. Olivia smiled as she inspected the bandaid tight around her finger, feeling relaxed and tranquil, but still paralyzed from the ordeal. Jeremy sat with her on the floor and held her in his arms.

"You want to sit on the couch?" asked Jeremy.

"Yeah," responded Olivia with a murmured voice.

"Can you stand up?"

"No."

Olivia's legs felt anesthetized, she couldn't feel her own legs on the floor.

"Okay, I'll carry you."

Olivia felt Jeremy's arms under her and levitate off the ground. She let Jeremy to carry her into the living room like a knight saving a princess. Jeremy placed Olivia onto the couch where he sat with her and continued to hold and comfort her.

"You know you're not that heavy," joked Jeremy, which made Olivia weakly giggle.

Olivia rested her head on Jeremy's chest and placed her hand directly over his heart where she could feel and hear it beat. Jeremy stroked Olivia's hair while she rested on his chest, he wondered whether she was asleep or not. Even if Olivia was asleep or not, Jeremy didn't want to say a single word. He wanted Olivia to relax for as long as she wanted until she was calm and was ready to talk.

"Jeremy," whispered Olivia.

"Yeah?," responded Jeremy.

"I'm hungry."

"You want me to do the cooking?"

"No, I want something simple and ready to eat."

"You want to order out?"

"Yeah."

"What would you like to eat?"

"Anything you would like to eat."

"What about pizza?"

"Sure."

"You like margarita and basil?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll make the order now."

Jeremy got out his mobile phone as Olivia watched him make the order. The bright vibrant pictures on Jeremy's phone mitigated Olivia's anxiety and could feel her stomach rumbling when she looked at how delicious the pizzas looked.

"There, I made the order. It shouldn't take more than half an hour. In the meantime, I think I should tidy up the kitchen," said Jeremy, as he got up, but felt Olivia tug his arm.

"No Jeremy stay," beseeched Olivia.

"Olivia I wont be gone long, I just need to tidy up a few things and then I'll be back," assuaged Jeremy.

"Do you think we could watch a movie?"

"Erm yeah sure, what do you want to watch?"

"Whatever is on Netflix."

"Okay, well have a browse on Netflix," said Jeremy, turning on the TV before looking back at Olivia, "Just relax and I'll be back shortly. Okay?"

"Okay," smiled Olivia, looking up at Jeremy while illuminating in the light from the TV screen.

Jeremy bent down to kiss Olivia on the head.

"Jeremy," reproached Olivia, unsatisfied where Jeremy kissed her. Jeremy bent down again and pleased Olivia by kissing her waiting lips before heading into the kitchen to tidy up and leaving Olivia to choose a film on Netflix.

After Jeremy has tidied the kitchen and put the uncooked food back in the fridge, he grabbed two glasses and non-alcoholic wine and rejoined Olivia in the lounge where she was browsing on Netflix.

"Found anything you fancy?" asked Jeremy, placing the wine and glasses on the small table in front of the coach.

"Nothing yet, I have found a few films I was thinking of, but nothing too intriguing," said Olivia, still scrolling through the films available on Netflix.

"What type of film do you want to watch?"

"I don't know, something light hearted. No horror or anything with violence in."

"I understand, something that doesn't have blood in it. How about a comedy?"

"Sure, as long as it's good."

"Okay Pauly Shore is out of the question. Mind if I have a browse?"

"Sure," consented Olivia, handing the remote to Jeremy as he sat beside her and scrolled through the films in the comedy section.

"Maybe I should introduce you to some British comedy," suggested Jeremy, coming across a film he thought Olivia would like. "Do you like John Cleese?"

"John Cleese, who's he?"

"One of the greatest British comedic actors."

"No I've never heard of him."

"What about Rowan Atkinson?"

"Rowan Atkinson?"

"Mr Bean."

"Never heard of them, but I would like to get to know them," smiled Olivia, taking Jeremy's hand and squeezing it.

Jeremy smiled and said, "Okay we'll watch Rat Race, I think you'll like it. It also has American actors you might be familiar with, like Jon Lovitz and Whoopi Goldberg."

Olivia's eyes lit up and beamed, "Oh I like Whoopi Goldberg and Jon Lovitz."

"Okay let's watch."

Only ten minutes into the film, their pizza arrived. Jeremy and Olivia dined on fresh warm pizza while watching the film. The pizza was a thin crust and had a distinct smell of fresh basil, which gave the pizza its tanginess. They tried to share the pizza slices equally, but they weren't equally hungry so they were left with one slice, where they accidentally touched hands.

"Oh sorry you can have the last piece," offered Jeremy kindly and sheepishly.

"No you can have it," declined Olivia avidly.

Rather than persist, Jeremy split the pizza in two with his hands and they both got a piece.

They continued to watch the movie together, laughing together. They even talked a little on the way, making comments about the actors and their character portrayals.

After the movie ended, Laura and Marina arrived back from a night out and brought Chinese back with them. They turned their attention to the living room where the TV was on and noticed Olivia and Jeremy cuddled up on the coach.

"Hey Jeremy," greeted Laura.

"Hey Jeremy," greeted Marina.

"Hey girls," greeted Jeremy.

"What's up Liv? Getting all snuggly with Jeremy I see," joked Laura.

"Yeah what's it to you? I see you and Marina get all kissy touchy," asserted Olivia.

"Well yeah, we are a couple very much in love," affirmed Laura, as Marina slung her arm around Laura and kissed her neck.

"Oh did you girls wanted to watch TV?" wondered Jeremy.

"Oh no it's fine," declined Laura, "What are you two about to watch?"

"I don't know, maybe something with Adam Sandler," said Jeremy.

Laura scrunched her face and reacted, "Yeah not a fan of Adam Sandler, you two enjoy watching Netflix on the big screen. Marina and I will settle with the laptop."

"Sounds good," smiled Jeremy.

"Well enjoy you two," smiled Laura back as Marina tugged Laura's arm and led her to her room.

When Laura and Marina were gone, Jeremy put on an Adam Sandler film, which Olivia was okay with. Olivia revealed to Jeremy that she likes a bit of Adam Sandler and is one of her guilty pleasures. One of his films they found on Netflix, which they haven't seen yet was 'Punch Drunk Love'. In the film Adam Sandler plays a business man who suffers from social anxiety and fits of anger. He is emotionally abused by his sisters and he lives a lonely life, until he meets a lady who seems interested in him and they begin dating.

Olivia was surprised to see Adam Sandler is less comedic in his role and portrays a more serious character, who suffers from personal issues Olivia found herself relating to. Jeremy also related to Adam Sandler's character, but didn't compare Olivia to Adam Sandler's love interest, who was calm and mild mannered. Nonetheless after halfway through the film when a romance ensues, Olivia and Jeremy looked at each other. They kissed and snuggled, enjoying a film they were getting into and relishing in their intimacy. They watched the remainder of the movie with Olivia resting her head on Jeremy and Jeremy with his arm around Olivia and playing with her hair. They both held and tenderly stroked hands, while hoping the film has a happy end.

* * *

The movie ended and Jeremy got off the couch to stretch his back and arms.

"That was interesting, not what I expected from an Adam Sandler film," commented Jeremy, as he suddenly yawned, "Guess I should be getting back now. You should be getting to bed, you look tired."

"Jeremy," said Olivia, still sitting on the couch and looking up at him.

"Yes Liv?" responded Jeremy, looking amicably down at Olivia.

"Could you please stay with me tonight?" requested Olivia, taking Jeremy's hand and stroking it with her thumb.

"Of course, I don't know if you have a spare bed," responded Jeremy, after a moment's hesitation.

"No silly, in my bed," retorted Olivia, frowning at him awkwardly.

Jeremy again hesitated and mused on the idea, until he slowly grinned and said, "Sure Liv, I would love to."

Olivia got ready for bed, starting with dressing in her vest and shorts then brushing her teeth. She leant Jeremy one of her toothbrushes, which was a toothbrush head because she used an electrical toothbrush. Jeremy entered Olivia's room and was surprised to see how she decorated her room. The first thing that caught his eye was the Union Jack Olivia hung on her wall. He even saw other embellishments on the bedroom walls that referenced British culture, it was clear Olivia had a fascination for Britain. He even saw Olivia had a collage of photos displayed above her laptop and dressing table. Her bed was a queen size bed, which looked soft and pliable, which was confirmed as soon as Olivia sat on it. Olivia took out a small metal tin of rosy lip Vaseline, dipped her finger in the lip balm and rubbed some on her lips. Jeremy watched her apply a horizontal stroke back and forth to each corner of her mouth. Olivia turned her head to look at Jeremy.

"What, what is it?"

"Nothing, I just like watching you moisten your lips."

Olivia frowned at Jeremy derisively, turned her body to face him and moved closer to him. She dipped her finger in the tin and rubbed Vaseline on his lips.

"If you're going to kiss me, you're going to need some lip balm too. I like to kiss my men with soft lips."

Jeremy was wearing only his shirt and boxer-shorts, something Olivia seemed tolerant with. He got under the cover with Olivia as she just lay there staring up at the ceiling with the light from the lamp still on.

"Don't you want the light off?" asked Jeremy.

"Can I be honest with you Jeremy?"

"Sure Liv."

"I'm scared of the dark."

"Why is that... oh wait.. because you nearly..."

Liv nodded her head to confirm Jeremy's guess was correct.

"Yeah, ever since then I slept with the light on. As a result we had to pay a little extra towards our electricity bill, but I just couldn't bring myself to sleep with the light off."

"Are Laura and Isabel okay with it?"

"They don't approve, they are hoping I try to sleep with the light off, otherwise I'll be the one contributing more towards paying the electric bill."

"You think you can sleep with the light off?"

"That's what I'm hoping I can do. It's just I've been getting nightmares with the light off, which is why I sleep with the light on."

Olivia looked scared and was clutching the covers and starting to shiver.

"Is that why you need me with you?"

"Yes Jeremy, I'm hoping that I can go one night without having to leave the light on and have a nightmare."

Jeremy feeling sorry for her, moved up to whisper delicately into her ear and hold her hand.

"You want to give it a try?"

"Would you hold me?"

"Of course," whispered Jeremy endearingly.

Olivia wrapped her arms tightly around Jeremy and closed her eyes while Jeremy stretched out his arm to turn off the lamp. When the light was off, Olivia kept her eyes closed and Jeremy carefully laid his body back on the bed closer to Olivia, making sure he didn't accidentally hurt her with his elbow or body weight. He found himself close to Olivia's face and blindly tried to find her lips to give her a kiss on the lips to comfort her. His nose made contact with her nose and he kissed Olivia's lubricated lips and tasted the strawberry lip balm.

"It's okay Liv, I've got you. You're safe," comforted Jeremy, holding her in his arms.

"Don't ever let me go Jeremy, please don't ever let me go," quivered Olivia, worried about having another nightmare.

"I won't Liv, I promise," soothed Jeremy, kissing Olivia on the head.

"Please talk to me Jeremy, tell me about happy things," beseeched Olivia.

"Sure Liv," consoled Jeremy, holding Olivia tight in his arms and narrating happy memories he only wished to know and share them with Olivia.

* * *

Olivia and Jeremy both slept that night, peacefully and undisturbed. Jeremy was the first to wake up, being the last one to sleep last night after finding Olivia asleep on his side. He found Olivia lying on his chest sleeping sideways. Something warm and wet was on his chest and it was emanating directly under Olivia's head, it became clear that Olivia was drooling on him.

Olivia slowly woke up to find herself sleeping on Jeremy's chest and see his smiling face as a good morning gesture.

"Morning Liv," greeted Jeremy.

"Morning Jeremy," mumbled Olivia still feeling tired.

Olivia felt the cold wet patch, which caused her to lift up her head and find out what the wetness was.

"Oh wonderful, I drooled on you," grumbled Olivia.

"No it's okay Liv, I don't mind."

"Jeremy," winged Olivia, grabbing a tissue beside her bed and wiping the wet patch dry.

When she was done she crumpled up the tissue and threw it aside then rested her head back on Jeremy.

"Did you sleep well, Liv?" asked Jeremy, stroking Olivia's hair.

"Like a baby. Haven't slept this well in a long time."

"Call me your guardian angel," quipped Jeremy.

"Oh Jeremy you kidder," reproached Olivia, hammering her fist on Jeremy. Jeremy begun stroking Olivia's neck until he heard Olivia say, "Okay Jeremy that tickles."

"Sorry Liv," apologized Jeremy, moving his hand away from her neck and started massaging her hair again.

After Olivia got 10 minutes more sleep, she tiredly said, "You know what Jeremy?"

"What is it?"

"I'm hungry," Olivia then heard Jeremy's stomach growl and joked, "So are you."

"Okay lets eat," smiled Jeremy.

As Olivia climbed off of Jeremy, she looked down to see a large bulge protruding from Jeremy's boxer-shorts and there was a noticeably large wet patch.

"Oh my god, Jeremy get out of my bed you boner," ordered Olivia sternly, even lightly kicking him out of bed.

This commotion caused Laura and Marina to barge into Olivia's room.

"Liv what's the matter?" wondered Laura.

Olivia looked at Laura and Marina while holding the quilt she stripped fully off the bed looking dour and vexed. Laura and Marina looked at Jeremy just standing next to the bed and looking down below to see he got aroused while in bed with Olivia and made a mess of himself. Laura and Marina begun bursting out laughing and left the room where their laughter could be heard in the corridor.

"Liv, I'm sorry it's just that..." tried to explain Jeremy to no avail.

Olivia pointed her finger at Jeremy and interrupted sharply, "Jeremy, I swear to god. If any got on my bed you'll be buying me new sheets, no, a new mattress."

**To be continued...**


	9. Chapter 9: New Friends

**Chapter 9: New Friends**

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 5th of April**

There is something that I must confess while writing in my journal, something I've already confessed to my therapist. It regards my relationship with Laura and Isabel and how my misery begun.

When we moved into our flat together and were about to start college, we were all single girls living happily together, like one happy family. This was until Laura met Tyler and Isabel met Gus did that all change. I didn't mind the idea of Laura and Isabel having flings, but no, they wanted to get serious and start a relationship. As much as I would have wanted Laura and Isabel to stay single, I knew it was beyond my power to control their motives and actions, even their decisions. I did fear what I feared the most and that was Laura and Isabel spending less time with me and that I started to feel lonely. I was invited to tag along, but sometimes they would spend time alone with their lovers and that was when I started to get lonely and feel left out.

When Marina became Laura's lover, that's when I started to have hatred in my heart. Not for Marina, but for Laura too because I felt that she abandoned me. It was only when I hated Laura and Marina did I begin to hate everyone including myself, which only filled me with a poison that compelled me to take my own life. Luckily I survived and after getting a second chance did I realize what I had and that I did have so much to live for. My friends still loved me and there was someone who I had a future with, and that was Jeremy.

I never longed to have a relationship, having Laura and Isabel was all I wanted. I valued friendship more than a relationship. The idea of being with a lover never truly appealed to me because I was too committed to Laura and Isabel, I saw a romance as nothing more than a friendship with sexual encounters. Romances come and go, but the way I always saw it, friendships are forever. As so as I like to think about it.

Divulging my insecurity to my therapist about feeling abandoned by Laura and Isabel did she come up with a suggestion that might be a solution to the problem, make new friends. Making new friends was something I never liked the idea of as much. Of course I add people on my friends list on Facebook, but they are not truly my friends. They are either friends of friends or relatives, my true friends like I said were Laura and Isabel.

I do remember in an early entry in my journal did I mention that I befriended those who I met at the support groups. Even though I call them friends, I question how connected I am to them. Yes they are suffering the same psychological issue as me and they are those who I confide in, but I don't know much about their personal lives. Now I could have invited them to hang out, but there was a slight problem. I knew that although they liked me and enjoyed my company during breaks at the support group meetings, they either had family back home or they had full time jobs. There was one who offered to give me a lift back to my flat, which I was always grateful for, but I knew she had children and hired a baby sitter whenever she attended support group meetings.

When I told my therapist that I have made friends at the support group, she does question what I do with them and I tell her that we talk and share stories. Then she proceeds to ask me questions whether I hang out with them outside the support group meetings and I say no, which was when she suggested making friends with whom I can have regular contact with. Even though I agreed to make new friends, I concluded that Laura and Isabel will be my best friends no matter what.

They say the best way to make new friends is your friends introducing you to their friends, which is why Jeremy will be introducing me to his friends, those he calls his family.

* * *

"Jeremy, I'm not sure about this. How do you know they'll like me?" wondered Olivia, having second thoughts about meeting new people.

"Trust me Liv, they are nice people. Besides, I've told them all about you and they are looking forward to meeting you," convinced Jeremy, taking Olivia firmly by the hand.

* * *

Olivia and Jeremy reached the college, where the auditorium was still open for the performing arts students rehearsing for a play. Jeremy was excited to introduce his girlfriend to his friends, but Olivia on the other hand was still nervous, she wanted to cower away and go back home. She could hear voices coming from the open door of the auditorium. It was quite obvious that a rehearsal was taking place because there was drama emanating from the auditorium, which no one would think that was a real altercation that needed to be defused.

Olivia and Jeremy both entered the auditorium to find two students on the stage acting a scene, one was male and the other was female, which Jeremy identified them by their voices. The stage was flooded with light while the rest of the auditorium was dim where the other performing arts students sat in the chairs observing the act. Waiting for the scene to end, Olivia and Jeremy remained silent and watched the two actors on stage.

When the scene ended and the students applauded, and the assumed director gave feedback and what could be improved. After the two actors agreed to rehearse the scene again, Jeremy cleared his throat, which got the attention of everyone in the auditorium who drew their eyes on Olivia and Jeremy.

"Oh hi Jeremy, we've been expecting you," greeted the director exultingly.

"Hey Jeremy has brought someone with him, a lady," toned a voice in the shadows, who emerged out of the shadows next to where the director was sitting.

The young female student who's been acting on stage, looked directly at Olivia with an amazed expression on her face. She climbed down the steps and approached Olivia.

"Is this Olivia?" asked the female student, wearing the same dazzled expression.

"Yep, this is Olivia," confirmed Jeremy, with his arm around Olivia. "Olivia, this is Samantha, Samantha... Olivia."

"Oh my god Jeremy, she's so pretty," amazed Samantha, after taking Olivia's hand to shake it.

Olivia blushed, rather embarrassingly and responded apathetically, "Thank you... so are you."

Samantha was a slim athletic kind of girl, around in her early twenties, the same age as Laura roughly. She had wide hips, big thighs and a flat stomach. It was obvious that Samantha worked out routinely and had a well balanced diet. She had a slim neck and a pointy chin, which displayed her jaw line and cheek bones. Her mouth was wide and titivated with dark red lipstick and had straight pearl-white teeth under her gleaming broad smile, which also glistened her cheeks. She had a narrow bridged nose, blue eyes and trimmed eyebrows and her hair was brown and tied in a ponytail. Olivia couldn't help but envy Samantha's body, seeing how impeccable it was, it was a body to die for.

The other students approached Olivia to introduce themselves, one was a male student who was sitting next to the director.

"Hi Olivia, I'm David, but you can call me Dave," introduced David, shaking Olivia's hand.

By the sound of David's voice, he was gay. It was very soft and feminine and the way he smiled sort of hinted that he was gay, it was just like the stereotypes of a gay person and how he introduces himself. He had dark black hair, which was slicked with oil or some other lacquer. He was slim, but built, he had skinny legs, but a muscular upper body. His pectorals, biceps and deltoids were buff, it went without saying that just like Samantha he works out too, but has more protein in his diet. He had a square jaw, full lips and hazel brown eyes. It occurred to Olivia that David could have any woman he wanted if only he wasn't gay, but unfortunately, it's not that people can choose their sexuality.

The director approached Olivia, offered his hand and introduced, "Hello Olivia, I'm Jessie. I know, funny name for a boy."

"I don't think it's funny," disagreed Olivia, which made Jessie smile in appreciation.

Jessie was blonde, bleach blonde, so blonde you would assume his hair was white if he was in a brightly lit room. His skin was tanned and he had white hairy arms. He wasn't built or in great physique compared to Samantha and David, but he was in good shape. It was quite obvious he was more into the artistic side of theatre and wasn't as engaging with the physical side of it. He had thin lips, broad triangular nose and pale blue eyes. He looked like he was of German or Scandinavian decent. His accent was not American, but European, very different than Jeremy's.

"Oh Olivia, please meet our other lady in our group, Kathy," introduced Jessie, looking past Olivia and Jeremy's shoulders.

Olivia and Jeremy turned around to see a young female student looking gloomy and distrustful near the entrance.

"What's up?" said Kathy indifferently.

Kathy was a short girl with a lean body, thin slender arms and broad shoulders. She wore tight skinny jeans and a short tank top. She had piercings on her lips and ears, even her nose was pierced. Her hair was thick and wavy, kind of resembling an 80's new wave image. Her facial features reminded Olivia of Siouxsie Sioux from Siouxsie and the Banshees, one of Olivia's guilty pleasures. Her eyes were dark and expressive as they glared at Olivia, looking cynical. It occurred to Olivia that Kathy could be an emo, judging by the way she dressed and made first impressions.

"Anyone else coming out for a smoke?" asked Kathy, placing an unlit cigarette in between her lips.

"Yeah I'll come out for one," said Jessie, walking back to his seat to grab his own cigarettes.

"I don't smoke, but I'll come and vape," said David, grabbing his e-cigarette and joining Jessie and Kathy.

With Olivia, Jeremy and Samantha being the last ones in the auditorium, there was a dominating silence in the auditorium.

"Well I don't know about you two, but I'm feeling a little peckish," said Samantha, clasping her hands together, "Are any of you hungry?"

"Yeah I could do with some munchies," said Jeremy, going into his pockets, fishing out loose change and handing it to Samantha.

Samantha looked at Olivia with a friendly smile and offered, "You want to come along Olivia?"

Olivia's mouth dropped open and air pushed out of her lungs, she looked at Jeremy who encouraged, "Go on Liv, get to know Samantha a little. One of us has to stay here, otherwise the caretaker locks the room."

"Come Olivia, lets go get us some snacks," beckoned Samantha.

Olivia reluctantly agreed to go, still unsure what to make of Samantha and whether she liked her or not.

* * *

Olivia and Samantha were in the cafeteria that was dark with lights only coming from the vending machines. The shutters for the kitchen were down and no one else was in the room. Since the kitchen was closed and the refrigeration units were securely locked, Samantha was looking through the glas panel of the vending machine.

"So what are you hungry for Olivia, what do you like?" asked Samantha.

"I'm... not that hungry thank you," replied Olivia.

"Well in case you get hungry I can get you something for later."

"Well okay, just not feeling too picky. I kind of like anything."

"Very good choice Olivia, I know just what to get us."

Samantha inserted coins into the vending machines and nimbly dialed her selection on the keypad. She waited until the edibles fell into the take-out port and pulled them out one by one before she turned to face Olivia.

"You mind giving me a hand Olivia? It's a lot of stuff I got here..." requested Samantha, but her voice was cut when she noticed Olivia's pale angsty face shuddering. "Olivia, are you okay?"

Olivia snapped out of her trance and responded, "I'm fine, its just I..."

"You're not scared of me are you?"

"No it's just that... I'm scared of the dark you see."

Olivia's confession made Samantha laugh and mock, "Oh Olivia, you're a grown girl and you're scared of the dark."

"Samantha listen, it's a long story, but let's just say I had a bad experience."

Samantha smiled to comfort Olivia and assure, "Olivia, I'm not nosy. If you don't want to tell me then that's fine, but if you do; your secret is safe with me."

"I believe you Samantha, no really I do. I believe you can keep secrets. Why don't I just tell you I have psychiatric issues and I'm taking medication."

"Okay, that's a little too personal, but I hear you."

"Sorry, I can't be more open with you."

"No Olivia it's okay, we just met. I think it's too early to confide in each other our secrets or personal issues. Why don't we take these snacks back to the auditorium and have a normal chat on the way?"

Olivia's anxiety alleviated and she agreed, "Okay, but we have to change the subject."

"Fine with me," giggled Samantha, handing Olivia a handful of the snacks and guided her through the dark cafeteria.

* * *

On the way back down the dark corridor, Olivia felt more safe and secure walking with Samantha. They chatted away sociably and amicably. Despite only knowing Samantha for less than an hour, Olivia found herself opening up and feeling she can trust her. She even made comparisons to her and Laura. Laura of course was very gregarious and a lot of fun, but so was Samantha after only having introduced herself and having a compelling cynosure about her. She was the chatty type, which Olivia usually would lose patience with and snap, but just couldn't bring herself to do it. She tolerated Samantha and humored her just by listening and feigning a smile.

Back in the auditorium, David, Jessie and Kathy were back from their fag break. They saw the snacks Olivia and Samantha carried back in their arms and they helped themselves like little kids at a party or a pack of hungry wolves.

Once everyone had a quick bite to eat, they proceeded with one of their assignments, which was to perform an act of their choice. It could be a dance, singing or even a reenactment, but it had to consist of only one performer. Each student took it turns to perform on stage while the rest watched.

David was the first to perform, his piece was a dance consisting of martial arts moves. Martial arts was his lifelong passion, he even taught his fellow students martial arts techniques. Not for self defense purposes, but to keep everyone in shape and improve their physicality and maneuverability.

Jessie's performance was a recitation of Shakespeare's Hamlet, where he was dressed in Shakespearean clothing, one that resembles Danish Renaissance. The way Jessie delivered his lines was very thespian and hammy, but that is expected from someone who tries to excel in Shakespeare.

Kathy did a dance number for her performance. She danced to KMFDM, which are a renowned industrial rock band. Olivia mainly liked music that was more mainstream and captivating, but did have a thing for electronic and rave music. The KMFDM track Kathy danced to was titled 'Liebeslied' and Olivia felt bewitched and drawn in by the track's catchy beat of electronic and rock. The lyrics were in German and despite Olivia unable to speak German, let alone even identify the language (assumed it was French), she enjoyed listening to the gruff tone of the language. It was a track Olivia would dance to if she was on stage, but all she did was tap her toes and bob her head repeatedly.

Kathy's dance style was very robotic and involved a lot of arm and leg movement, including the rotation of her hips. There were kicks, hand rotations and she swung out her arms and bent her elbows in her dance routine. These arm movements looked dangerous and sort of aggressive, it looked like Kathy would accidentally hit herself in the face, but she kept calm and focused on the dancer number. Maintaining an expressionless face throughout the entire performance.

Samantha was the next to perform, she even whispered to Olivia to watch her, which Olivia obliged she would do. Knowing Samantha was going to do a dance act, Olivia was curious to know what her dancing skills were like compared to David and Kathy. When Samantha took the stage, she put her feet together, rotated her shoulders and placed her hands flat on her hips. She rotated her neck, took a deep breath and waited for the music.

When the music played, Olivia instantly recognized the track as the Beyonce classic, Crazy in Love. Samantha didn't move during the instrumental part, Olivia assumed Samantha was nervous. It was only when Beyonce's voice initiated did Samantha spring into action. She moved her body with such speed, agility and efficiency. Olivia found it amusing to see how Samantha moved her hips, arms and legs, it even occurred to her that Samantha was double jointed and born flexible.

Samantha implemented twirls, dips, hops and even a part where she belly dances, arching her back and showing her stomach muscles under her tight top. What really impressed Olivia and pretty much her fellow students was how she was able to stand on her tip toes, even twirl on them and maintain perfect balance without swaying from position. She didn't try to mimic Beyonce from what Olivia recalled from the music video, but had her own original moves, which varied and derided from other dance styles. Olivia wasn't a big fan of Beyonce and was even inclined to rate Samantha a better dancer than Beyonce, knowing that statement would evoke an outrage from hardcore fans should they know. Watching Samantha dance and being really impressed enthralled by her performance, aroused new respect and admiration Olivia had for her.

Samantha's performance ended and she received an ecstatic applause from her fellow students, on the exception of Kathy who was only politely clapping. Olivia who was clapping more enthusiastically noticed Kathy's sour face, obviously not a fan of Beyonce. Olivia was starting to label Kathy a bitter and cynical bitch, despite knowing that Olivia once harbored a similar attitude herself.

Samantha sat back down next to Olivia and cordially asked what she thought of her performance. Olivia honestly critiqued and complimented Samantha's performance and openly admitted she was impressed. Samantha smiled, very touched by Olivia's compliment.

"Guess I'm up," announced Jeremy, looking at Olivia and smiling before getting up and taking the stage. He didn't tell Olivia what his performance would be and Olivia herself have no hint what his performance could be, but knowing Jeremy was full of surprises, Olivia was excited to see what he would perform.

Jeremy attached a microphone to his head a few props climbed onto the stage and took centre. He was wearing a black leotard, which Olivia thought was weird and skimpy, she wondered whether she could see his bulge. In one hand he was carrying what looked like a wig and the other, some object attached to a string. In the other hand he had a long wooden object and something round that jingled, it was a tambourine. Jeremy placed the wig on his head and the wig looked funny on his head. It was a long-haired black wig where the hair draped down to the shoulders and had what looked like the top of the head shaved off. Olivia thought Jeremy looked laughable, she even snickered at his ludicrous image, she was even more eager to know what his act was.

Jeremy waited for the music to play, which was Musical Box by Genesis. It started with a soothing melody with the sound of a soft guitar rhythm in the background. Jeremy begun singing softly and would subsequently pick up the flute and place it to his lips. He played the flute well and played it accordingly to the smoothness of the instruments playing in the background.

The music got tumultuous and aggressive, Jeremy discarded his flute and picked up the tambourine. He beat it with his hand and also against his hips, he even implemented his foot to create a beat. He even danced to the music and swirled his body as if he was high on ecstasy. The music would then revert back to mellow, but then would revert back to tumultuous.

As the music would mollify for the last part of the song, Jeremy placed something on his face, which looked like an old wrinkly face. Jeremy now looked like Worf from Star Trek with the mask on. He sung the lyrics with a soft tone and as the singing progressed, the lyrics went from innocent to perverted. He even used his hands to imply lust. With the tensity of the music increasing with the sound of an organ, Jeremy raised his voice to make the lusting more desperate. He shouted something Olivia and probably the other students would never forget, they were persistent pleas to touch him and do it now. The performance ended with a loud guitar riff and Jeremy kneeling to the ground and posing like he was worshipping.

Everyone applauded fervently, even Olivia. Even though she was impressed, she was at the same time disturbed by his performance, but was willing to accept Jeremy's artistic insightful explanation for it, whatever it is or was.

* * *

Once all students have performed for their small, but supportive audience, everyone decided to just hangout in the auditorium and talk casually. Olivia was the most quiet in the group (Kathy was also quiet, but more engaging), often feeling lonely when she wasn't getting the attention she would have craved and had to listen and pretend to be interested. When the conversation died and there was nothing to continue the subject, Olivia was asked a question, which she openly and frankly answered. Each bit of attention Olivia was getting was something she always thrived on, even back in the days when Laura and Isabel were single. Rather than be self-absorbed, Olivia tried to add more to the subject and share her own points of view, which was something that kept the subject going. Only after becoming more involved with the group and actually feeling like she was becoming a member.

One thing Olivia asked the whole group was if this was really the whole class and if there were other students on the course. Jessie divulged that the class was reasonably big, but quickly got smaller after many students pulled out. Olivia asked out of curiosity why they pulled out and Jessie as well as Samantha explained it was because of personal reasons. Or they were just lazy and only did the course because it was the least convoluted and strenuous.

"You know, our course was in danger of being cancelled because of lack of students. We all started to panic and fear we would either have to drop out or move onto another course, but our course was saved and it was thanks to your man, Jeremy. That's right, because of him, our course was saved," praised Jessie, looking at Jeremy who was smiling with glee and pride.

"That's right, if it were't for your dear Jeremy, we wouldn't be here right now. He's our savior," bubbled Samantha, ruffling Jeremy's hair and tugging his arm.

"Wow that's interesting to know. Guess you guys are really close," smiled Olivia, uncertain how to respond.

"No not just close, like family," clarified David.

The word 'family' put a smile on everyone's face and it impressed Olivia to know how close they were. It reminded her of how close she was with Laura and Isabel and in a way still is, it's just that Olivia was reluctant to accept change and the will of others.

"Hopefully you can become part of the family," beamed Samantha.

Olivia smiled, feeling really flattered by feeling accepted.

"Why did you choose psychology and not performing arts?" asked Jessie.

"I enrolled in psychology major, but it was only because a friend enrolled too," answered Olivia.

"You would have been better joining us. It gets kind of lonely having one girl other than me in the group," said Samantha.

Kathy turned her head to look at Samantha disapprovingly.

"Yeah I kind of don't like being the center of attention. Besides, I wanted something a little cerebral shall we say," explained Olivia.

Olivia's statement was ironic, knowing she liked being the center of attention, when it came to her friends at least.

"Fair enough," retorted Jessie, "Anyway (yawns) I think we should call it a night. It's getting late and I want to go to bed."

"Yeah, I'm feeling tired too," yawned Kathy.

Everyone concurred that they were tired and they were heading for bed. While students said their byes to each other, they shook hands, whereas Samantha preferred hugs. Kathy didn't like hugs much, but she reluctantly accepted to be embraced by David who offered his arms instead of his hand. Kathy was more warm and accepting of a hug from Samantha. It was quite clear that Kathy didn't trust many people, but trusted and confided in her fellow classmates.

Kathy took a look at Olivia and indifferently grumbled, "See you around."

Olivia got the feeling she wasn't going to like Kathy because of her surly and snarky attitude. Part of her was tempted to insult Kathy or even punch her, but she didn't want to exacerbate the things, so she decided to try and get on with Kathy for the sake of Jeremy.

"You know, I don't think Kathy likes me," questioned Olivia, while walking with Jeremy and Samantha.

"No Olivia, Kathy is just a little bitter," explained Samantha.

"Bitter about what may I ask?"

"Well you see, before she joined the course, she came out of a long term relationship and has had trust issues because of it."

"Oh I see, don't know what it's got to do with me. Don't know what she's got against me."

"She's got nothing against you. When I got to know her she was difficult to work with, but after some psychology and support, she and I became friends. Okay she maybe reserved and less involved with projects, but she can be a real sweetheart once you get to know her."

"Yeah, I guess so."

There was a gap in the conversation, which bought Sam the opportunity to ask Olivia.

"Just wanted to ask, Olivia. My birthday is next week, we're going clubbing and I booked the V.I.P lounge. I would really like for you to come."

The thought of clubbing really thrilled Olivia, it was an instant sense of nostalgia coming back to her. It reminded her of the time when it was Isabel's birthday and she took everyone clubbing, even hiring a limo.

"Sure Samantha, I would love to come," accepted Olivia blithely.

"On the condition, I take you out shopping, just us," said Samantha, looking at Olivia and smiling ardently.

Samantha's invitation to go out shopping before clubbing, elated Olivia and she felt a tingle in her gut. It reminded her of the days when her, Laura and Isabel would go shopping in preparation for a night out, it only intensified the excitement. Olivia could feel herself buzzing and in a sense of euphoria. It really felt like the good old days where it was just her and her friends and no boy was going to come in between them. Olivia would even start to look at Sam as a replacement for Laura, maybe not replacement, but more like something to fill in the void when it was clear Laura and Isabel would be paying more attention to their lovers.

"Sounds great, I'll buy us lunch," offered Olivia, uncontrollably smiling.

Jeremy enjoyed looking at Olivia smiling like he never saw her smile before. It was clear Olivia was so excited, she was already looking forward to the event.

* * *

Olivia, Jeremy and Samantha reached Samantha's accommodation. Samantha took the time to hug Jeremy and then turned to face Olivia and embrace her too. Olivia wasn't too fond of hugging someone she just met, but she was willing to make Samantha an exception.

Watching Samantha enter her accommodation and waving before she turned round and closed the door behind her, Olivia and Jeremy walked together.

"So what do you make of my friends, cool aren't they?" asked Jeremy

"They sure are an interesting bunch, kind of like something out of a film or comic book. Like a team of superheroes."

Jeremy laughed at Olivia's remark.

"What superhero team do you compare us too?"

"Not Fantastic Four because there's five of you."

"How about the Famous Five?"

"Famous Five?"

"British literature, they are four young children, including a dog. They go on adventures together trying to solve mysteries and find treasure. They have their own personalities and attributes, which make them a formidable team."

"Oh bor-ing, four kids and a dog. Sounds like Scooby Doo, but British. How about the A-Team, they are way cooler."

"There's only four members of the A-Team. John Hannibal, B.A. Baracus, Face and Howling Mad Murdock."

"Which you are by the way," teased Olivia, which aroused a smile on Jeremy's face.

"Thank you Liv, Howling Mad Murdock was always my fav. You know, I'm starting to compare us to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

Olivia looked at Jeremy with a provoking look and asked, "Oh yeah, which Turtle am I?"

"Oh you're not a turtle, you are April O'Neil. The turtles' friend or should I say damsel."

Olivia drew her eyebrows close together and glared at Jeremy and slightly pushed him aside, he nearly stepped off the pavement and onto the road. Olivia then feeling admiration and smitten for Jeremy's sense of humor, grabbed his arm and slipped her hand into his. They both walked together, thinking of fond nostalgic memories while holding hands, the first time they ever walked together holding hands.

**To be continued...**


	10. Chapter 10: Party Time

**Chapter 10: Party Time**

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 15th of April 2017**

Meeting Jeremy's friends, or family should I call them, was a new and reinvigorating experience for me. At first I thought they were going to be a bunch of annoying, self-absorbed and insufferable egotists that always want to be in the spotlight. I assumed that for anyone that wanted to be in show business, wanting their quick moment of fame and glory and then become nobodies and hit rock bottom. Upon meeting them I knew how wrong I was, they were so full of life and vigor, a remembrance of how things use to be when it was just my friends and I. Being invited to join them, despite not being on the same course as them and I felt honored to accept. Of course this did make me feel guilty about Laura and Isabel, knowing I might upset them when they realize I'm spending more time with my new friends. When I look at it in hindsight, spending time with my new friends fills in the emotional wounds I was inflicted with when I started to feel less important to Laura and Isabel, when in fact I needed new friends to abate my loneliness.

Jeremy and I have still been sleeping in the same bed together, despite that he could have spoilt my sheets from last time. I even got him to wear pants to bed, it would have been funny if I got him to wear a diaper to bed. Each time Jeremy and I have slept in the same bed, I would have limits what he could do when it came to physical contact. I would allow him to hold me and kiss me, but anything beyond that, I wouldn't approve of. At no point has Jeremy ever made any cheeky attempts to touch me sexually or even offer sex to me.

The only time Jeremy got to touch my naked body was after I got out of the shower alone and I allowed him to massage my body. I lay on the bed on my belly and had a towel covering my booty. I relaxed as I let Jeremy's big strong hands rub oil into my back. It was surprising how good Jeremy actually was. The way he pressed and tenderized my muscles with such finesse and firmness. It's like he was a real masseuse, understanding the human anatomy, my anatomy. One thing I did let Jeremy do was kiss me on the back, which made my spine tingle. Feeling a little naughty and spontaneous I tore the towel away from my body and exposed myself naked. I told him he missed a spot and he proceeded to massage my butt. This has been the closest Jeremy and I came to having sex or should I say the most sexual thing we've ever done together. I wasn't ready to offer Jeremy sex, knowing that he has only just earned my trust and proved to be a gentleman. I want our sex to mean something and not something we do out of recreation.

Last thing I want to mention is Samantha, the one who warmed up to me as soon as I met her and treats me like her new best friend. She was someone I thought I was going to hate, but after showing me good will and seeing how skillful she was as a dancer, I begun to respect her. She practically has almost the same traits as Laura, vigorous, outgoing and sassy. It seemed she was the very thing missing in my life, all the joy and fervor I felt in life she brought back into my soul. Today is her birthday and her and I have arranged to go shopping before we get ready for a big night out, this made me forget that it's her birthday and not mine.

* * *

"Really, is it true?" perplexed Samantha, sounding really shocked and surprised.

"Yeah, stupid I know," remarked Olivia, not proud to admit it.

"You're telling me that Jeremy sent you a friend request and you haven't responded?"

"Yeah that's right."

"You have a Facebook account, you added people on there and you won't add Jeremy and you are going out with him."

"Well I know this is going to sound strange, but... Jeremy and I aren't necessarily going out, I'm just seeing him."

"Oh I see, you don't want to rush it. Still you could add him and have him as a friend."

"True, but I get the feeling he will change his status to 'In a relationship' and I don't want that."

"And he never asked why you still haven't accepted his friend request?"

"No, he never did ask."

"Well Olivia, you might want to make up your mind whether you are going to start calling Jeremy your boyfriend. He's really crazy about you, you know that don't you?"

"Yeah, I knew it from day one."

"On day one I could see the look on his face and I knew he was in love. He told me your name and what he thinks about you."

"I think I know."

"So when do you think you're going to... you know?"

"You mean have sex?"

Samantha laughed and clarified, "No silly, when are you going to decide whether you want to go out with him or not?"

"Oh that. Well... I don't know. I am starting to like him and he's an okay kisser and I will admit I need him to comfort me."

"Sounds like someone who would do anything for you. Like a prince and his princess, rescuing her from a fearsome dragon and riding off with her on his horse into the sunset."

"If that's how you'd like to put it, I guess that describes him pretty well."

"Anyhoo Olivia, enough about boys, let's talk about girl things for once. Where do you like to shop?"

* * *

Olivia and Samantha enjoyed their little walk into town together where the sun was shining, the weather was warm with a comfortable breeze and the mood for shopping was ebullient. It was decided that the first thing to shop for would be clothes, mainly because browsing for clothes took more time than browsing for cosmetics.

Olivia and Samantha agreed on a shop that they both liked and were thrilled to know they have something in common. Normally when Olivia goes out clubbing or just wants to look her best, she liked the idea of exposing her legs, whereas Laura was more modest and preferred covering her legs. They both spent about an hour browsing through dresses and sharing opinions how they look in them. Samantha having an enthusiasm for fashion and styling made recommendations and which dresses suited Olivia. She suggested going for something alluring or lascivious with the intention of teasing Jeremy. Olivia and Samantha browsed through a number of dresses and tried them on, but settled on one they thought looked good on them and could afford.  
They then stopped at a cosmetic store and had a quick browse through the nail varnish and lipsticks. Olivia looking at the wide range of lipsticks and nail-varnish in small vials still made her feel queasy and reminded her of blood. She did try to hide her anxiety from Samantha by only looking at the darker reds.

"Not a fan of bright red I can see?" questioned Samantha, who noticed Olivia shrugged the bright reds and looked only at the darker reds.

"What?" said Olivia, turning her head to look at Samantha.

"You've been looking at the darker ones for over a minute," clarified Samantha.

"Oh right, well yeah, bright red I just think overtones the face. If you want everyone to see and critique the rest of your face, you got to tone down the intensity of color. Otherwise you look like a clown," giggled Olivia.

Olivia's wisecrack slowly evoked a smile on Samantha's face she laughed and concurred, "Good point, kind of what I think so too. Some wear heavy makeup and they don't know they're overdoing it. When I color my face or anyone's face you need to have a good understading of color and the materials. Kind of like an artist if you get what I mean?"

"Absolutely, right on," beamed Olivia, feeling compelled to use slang in her vocabulary. "Since you have such a great knowledge about cosmetics and styling. You can pick out for me," offered Olivia with a smile and Samantha smiled with alacrity.

* * *

After long and tiresome shopping, Olivia and Samantha were feeling enervated and their feet started to hurt. It was the middle of the day and they were starting to get a little hungry, so they decided to stop at a nice outdoor café. Olivia was surprised to learn Samantha like Jeremy was a vegetarian too. Olivia ordered a goat cheese salad and Samantha ordered a marinated tofu salad, even mentioning she's trying to cut back on the dairy in her diet.

"Mind if I ask you something personal, Olivia?" asked Samantha.

Olivia clueless what Samantha wanted to know about her personal life consented, "Sure, what is it?"

"That scar on your left arm, how did you get it?'

Olivia's heart jumped right out of her chest, knowing she was wearing a sleeveless summer dress and she would have to open to Samantha about her suicide attempt. One thing Olivia always believed in is that friends always tell the truth, they never lie.

"You might be shocked when I tell you this, but humor me," Olivia took a deep breath before confessing, "I tried to kill myself."

Samantha was taken aback, she skidded back on her chair it made an ear-piercing screech.

"Why, why would you want to kill yourself?" asked Samantha dolefully.

Olivia hesitated, wet her lips before disclosing, "It happened one day after valentine's day. Before then I was living happily with two of my closest friends. Together we were like sisters, we had our own place and we were both going to college, it was like a dream come true. We were like one happy family. Then everything would change when they found themselves in relationships and were starting to get serious. I was the only one with no relationship and it was because I committed myself to my friends with whom I would do anything to keep us together. As time went on I started to get lonely and then I started to feel left out and forgotten about. It was like I was invisible, no not only that, it felt like I didn't exist. It got to the point where I didn't want to live anymore. I took a razor blade and cut down my arm, hoping it would be a quick death. Only then did I realize my mistake and the pain I caused myself and my friends who are still traumatized from the event. I could have died, but I didn't. It was only a miracle I survived after losing so much blood."

Samantha's mouth gaped open and was abhorred by how graphic Olivia's suicide story was.

"Olivia... I... I don't know what I should say. I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm more than happy you survived," said Samantha, hoping to comfort Olivia who was starting to get emotional.

"Survival is one thing, but having to witness the people you hurt is the worst thing. Knowing that you put them through the same pain and that they'll never forget your selfish act. It was so stupid of me, it didn't change anything and it made a fool of me," cried Olivia, burying her face in her hands and sobbing.

"Olivia please don't," beseeched Samantha, stroking Olivia's arm. "I understand how you felt about being neglected. I had the same experience."

Olivia unburied her face to look at Samantha with tear-stained red eyes. "Really?"

"Yeah I did, the only difference was well it was more about losing a friend and we never reconciled."

"Why, what happened?"

"I had an old friend. We were friends since elementary school. Everything changed when we went to high school together. Just like how you considered your old friends like sisters, I considered her my sister, me being an only child and all. Her and I did everything together and discussed our future together and what we would do after school."

"What did you plan to do after school?"

Samantha leaned forward closer to Olivia with a grin on her face to reveal her crazy pipe dream, "Well I wanted to move to London and be in the West End and my friend was enthusiastic about moving to London with me and become a fashion designer. We were both really enthusiastic about dancing and it's what kept us together. Then one day after a week of attending high school, she got the attention of a group of jocks who introduced us to their friends, female friends. I went along and I quickly learned they were bad news."

"What do you mean bad news?"

"Well they were drinking beer and then hard liquor, but when I saw they were smoking cannabis, I knew I was hanging out with the wrong people and so was my friend. I saw her join in, but seeing her drink wasn't what shocked me the most. It was when one of them pulled out a glass pipe and I saw with my own eyes that they were doing crystal meth. I encouraged my friend, who I'll refer to as Alice, not to do it and she dismissed my warnings and proceeded to do it. When I tried to intervene I was stopped by the jocks who called me boring and shunned me out of the group. I could do nothing, but watch in horror as I saw Alice take the smoke into her lungs and react to the effects of crystal meth. That was when I knew it was over and this was the beginning of the decline of our friendship."

Olivia was horrified to know how a friendship could be ruined by a drug addiction. She never had a friend who turned to drugs and had heard stories about how drug addicts can turn out violent in the later stages of addiction.

"Did you tell her parents about your friend's drug habit?"

"I was about to, but Alice pleaded with me not to and that she was trying to come off drugs. It only turned to be a lie when I realized how unkempt she was looking and when she started asking me for money. Me being patient and actually believing her that she was trying to kick her drug habit gave in and gave her money. Only when it became frequent and I had gone through nearly all my saved cash did I notice items missing whenever she visited. That was when I regretted my patience for her. It got to the point she would raid the medicine cabinet and stole my dad's prescribed morphine, this was during the last time I invited her into the house. She was invited to dinner, which my parents reluctantly agreed to after noticing her strange suspicious behavior. My parents tried to use therapy and ask her if anything was wrong. I never brought up her drug habit at the dinner table, which was probably my biggest mistake because it would turn ugly. She asked if she could use the bathroom, which my mum consented. Only after we realized she was gone for a long time, did my dad go upstairs only to catch her in the act of stealing his morphine. There was a scuffle as my dad dragged her downstairs, retrieved his morphine and successfully kicked her out of the house. After only having a brief moment to recover from the ordeal, she then hurled a brick through the window, climbed in and tried to reclaim the morphine. She picked up a long shard of glass and threatened us with it. I tried to intervene and placate her, only for her to cut my hand. My dad intervened and tried to wrestle the glass shard out of her hand, but was head-butted and stabbed in the leg. Unable to stop her she re-obtained the morphine and ran out.

My dad had sustained a chipped tooth, a deep stab wound in the leg and a large bite mark on the hand. It was no ordinary bite mark, it was was like someone bit into a apple and it was leaking with blood. He needed to go to a hospital and so did I to have stitches on my hand. You might not have noticed it, but I still have the scar." Samantha placed her hand on the table and opened her palm to reveal to Olivia a long white diagonal scar.

"Samantha, that looks nasty. I hope the cops caught your former friend."

"Well she was found and almost dead, she overdosed on morphine and was revived in hospital, but left in a coma. After she woke up from her coma she was charged with both assault and robbery. She was sent to rehab and that was the last time I saw from her."

"You mean you never heard from her again?"

"No, I did try writing her a letter to get some answers and with the chance to reconcile and save the friendship. I got no response and I had to accept that the friendship was over."

"Why did you want to reconcile with someone who betrayed you, surely you must have known that once she became an addict she lost all concept of right and wrong?"

"I know, but I wanted to believe there was still a good person in her. Throughout our childhood we talked about what we were going to do once we turned 18 and we made a vow that we weren't going to do anything illegal or anything that was bad for our health. We were even anti-drugs and took the drug PSAs seriously, we were even part of the DARE program. It's just on that night she decided to experiment and I knew the dangers of trying it once, just wish I could have been stronger and stopped her, but I was too weak to do anything about it."

Samantha started to get emotional during her story about failing her friend and a tear would roll down her cheek. Olivia feeling sorry to see Samantha's emotional state and to see her cry for the first time, grabbed her hand with the scar and held it to console her.

"Samantha it's okay, I know how you feel. I used to believe I could change people and convince them that what they're doing is wrong. Of course I did it out of love and I wanted what was best for them, in other words, I was like a big sister."

Samantha smiled and laughed as she wiped the tear from her face.

"Oh Olivia, you really do act like a big sister. So confident and wise."

"Stop it Samantha, you're the one that is wise. I'm just a dominating authority figure who assumes leadership."

"Thank you Olivia. One thing I learnt from my parents after my friend was in rehab that it wasn't my fault, she had a choice."

"Sadly Samantha, we just have to let people live their own lives."

"Yeah you're right, Olivia."

"Oh by the way, you can call me Liv, most of my friends do," requested Olivia.

"Okay Liv," agreed Samantha.

"Shall I call you Sam or Sammy?"

"Samantha is fine, Sam sounds too much like a boy's name."

Olivia held Samantha's hand tenderly. It was obvious Olivia was showing affection for her new friend, but she wanted to keep things platonic with her. Olivia was not a lesbian, even after kissing Laura and Marina she knew for certain that although she has love in her heart for friends of her own gender, she was physically attracted to guys. Samantha's over-friendliness and zealous behavior did make Olivia assume Samantha was a lesbian, but wasn't for certain. If Samantha did try to make sexual advances on Olivia, she would be turned down. Olivia liked Samantha enough to hug her and hold her hand and that was as far as she wanted to go when it comes to physical contact.

Their food arrived, which looked presentable and appetizing, it increased their appetite. They enjoyed a fine meal, while bathing in the warm sun and socializing buoyantly and avidly.

* * *

In the late afternoon, Olivia invited Samantha to her flat where they would get dressed and spruced up. Olivia had a shower and would let Samantha use the shower afterwards. Once they were both showered they did each other's hair and make up in Olivia's room. Entrusting Samantha to do the make up for her, Olivia lay all her makeup articles on the bed for Samantha to use.

"You have such pretty eyes, you know that?" beamed Samantha, while doing Olivia's eyes with mascara.

"Really?" said Olivia, trying to smile and keep still.

Samantha put away the mascara and proceeded to color Olivia's lips.

"Yeah and pretty lips too."

"Oh please, I wish my lips were fuller."

"No come on they're pretty full to me, no wonder why Jeremy likes to kiss them."

"Yeah well you can hit on me all you want, you're not getting a kiss from me."

"Well it's my birthday and maybe I'm going to ask for a kiss later."

Samantha smirked as if she was expecting a reaction from Olivia who frowned and sarcastically quipped, "Whatever you say birthday girl."

While Samantha was painting in Olivia's toenails, there was the sound of the front door opening and footsteps that got closer to Olivia's room. The door opened and there appeared Laura with a letter in her hand.

"Oh Liv, you have mail..." said Laura, only to notice another female sitting on her bed who she never met before, "Who's she?"

"Laura this is Samantha, Samantha, Laura," introduced Olivia.

"Hi Samantha," greeted Laura.

"Hi Laura... say I know you, you have your own Youtube channel, you and your dance partner Marina I believe her name is," exclaimed Samantha.

"You're right, we're lovers too you see," admitted Laura openly and proudly.

"Yeah I kind of noticed when I watched your videos you have some romantic connection. You know I'm a dancer too, perhaps we can work together someday."

"Sure, we should do that. Just add me on Facebook and message me, I would be happy to make an appointment."

Laura then drew her eyes to look at Olivia and noticed she was in a new sparkly, pretty black dress and was titivated with makeup.

"What's the occasion Liv?" asked Laura.

"Oh tonight it's Samantha's birthday and we're going out clubbing."

Samantha looked up and smiled at Olivia.

"Oh, happy birthday Samantha," said Laura.

"Thank you Laura," smiled Samantha. "You know if you want to come along you are more than welcome to."

"As much as I'd love to I have plans with Marina tonight, we're shooting a music video. Thanks for offering anyway."

"You're welcome Laura, you, Olivia and I will do something together."

"We will and I'll bring Marina along."

"Oh that would be cool," bubbled Samantha.

"Anyway Liv, here's a letter for you," said Laura, throwing the letter on Olivia's bed.

"Probably from home I guess," assumed Olivia.

As Laura left the room, Olivia threw the letter on the bedside table after seeing it was from her doctor.

"You're looking gorgeous Olivia, Jeremy is going to love this," chirped Samantha.

"Oh I want him to be in for a surprise , I don't think he's ever seen me look my best. I remember the time when he got so aroused you wouldn't believe it," grinned Olivia.

Intrigued, Samantha looked at Olivia with an amused look on her face and asked, "Why what's the story?"

"One time Jeremy and I were sleeping in this bed together and when he woke up, I realized he had something long and hard in his undies. Yep, he had a snake in his underwear, a nice big one."

Samantha laughed loud and for a good minute before she calmed down and asked while still having the giggles, "You mean he had a hard on?"

"Damn straight he did, but tonight I'm going to arouse him so much, he's going to regret not bringing fresh underwear with him," joked Olivia, hoping to make Samantha laugh again.

* * *

Samantha arranged a limousine to pick her and Olivia up at Olivia's place. Being the first ones to board the limousine, both admired how luxurious the interior of the limousine looked. The seats were red leather and were padded, the windows had dark blue velvet curtains and there was a mini bar adorned with polished red-oak and a fridge with a transparent glass door. Near the bar was a bucket of ice with champagne, Samantha had good tastes Olivia thought to herself.

"Don't touch the champagne, that's for all of us once we've picked them up and we are together," taunted Samantha jovially, looking at Olivia expressing temptation to open the champagne right away.

* * *

With David, Jessie and Kathy picked up, Jeremy was the only one left to pick up. David and Jessie warmly greeted Olivia with a hug, but Kathy only greeted Olivia with half a smile, which Olivia greeted Kathy back and raised a smile. David and Jessie were dressed in smart casual clothes with David wearing a silk black shirt, unbuttoned at the collar exposing part of his chest. Jessie was wearing a neat red sharkskin waistcoat, with a white long sleeve shirt underneath, he resembled a snooker player almost. Kathy was dressed more appropriately for clubbing, she wore a tight tank top that almost looked like a corset. She wore a short leather skirt and tall leather boots with high heels. She retained her emo image with purple painted nails, blue eye makeup and red lipstick. Samantha wore a tight flexible long sleeved black dress. The sleeves had a transparent floral pattern and there was the same floral pattern was in the middle, partly exposing Samantha's belly. Olivia's dress was a short thin-strap black sundress with tassels at the flounce. The reason she picked that dress was because the dress was so short it exposed her legs and only just covered her crotch, this was intended to arouse Jeremy who she couldn't wait to see his reaction.

The limousine stopped and the limo driver opened the door for the last person to board the limousine, it was Jeremy. He was dressed almost like Jessie, with a waistcoat and white shirt underneath. His waistcoat was a brown and gold paisley pattern, where the gold lacing glistened in the setting sun. Olivia smiled facetiously at Jeremy's overdressed appearance. Her smile didn't drop when Jeremy drew his eyes on her and was stunned by her beauty, how skimpy and embellished she looked.

"Hi gorgeous," greeted Jeremy.

"Hi Jeremy," greeted Olivia back.

Jeremy was tempted to kiss Olivia's enticing lips, but wasn't sure if she liked being kissed in front of others, so he kissed her on the cheek before sitting down next to her.

"Who wants champagne?" chorused Samantha, holding the large bottle in her hand.

Everyone ecstatically cheered for champagne, except Jeremy who knew couldn't drink champagne because he was on medication and couldn't consume alcohol. He was surprised to see Olivia accept the offer to have champagne and hold her glass out.

"Liv, aren't you on medication?" inquired Jeremy.

"No, I've come off medication, guess this girl can enjoy a glass of champagne again," bubbled Olivia, smiling at Jeremy and holding the glass of champagne in her hand.

Jeremy didn't expect Olivia to announce to him she'd come off medication at a time like this, he thought he would have at least been informed beforehand. Rather than dwell on the subject and want to believe Olivia was being truthful he held his glass of non-alcoholic champagne Samantha had reserved for him and toasted to Samantha's birthday.

* * *

The limousine reached its destination, which was a nightclub where there were bright neon-lights, illuminating and adorning the whole street as if it was Vegas. There was a long line of clubbers being barred by bouncers and a purple velvet rope and there was another purple velvet rope that was reserved for V.I.P. As everyone stepped out of the limousine and into the intense beautifying scenery, Olivia felt alive again and she was reliving the good times. She experienced a nostalgic trip one that reminded her of Isabel's birthday where she too took her friends clubbing and hired a limousine, the only difference was she didn't reserve the V.I.P lounge like Samantha did. Samantha took lead and approach the bouncer guarding the V.I.P threshold, who was holding a clipboard. She gave her name, but not the names of those who she invited. That wasn't required when the bouncer confirmed her name, unhooked the rope and allowed the group in who tailgated her. Getting passed the rope and climbing the stairs where another bouncer attached wristbands on everyone's wrists to confirm they have access to the V.I.P lounge and anywhere else in the club. The group were escorted to the V.I.P lounge as Olivia could see that the club was massive and crowded with clubbers on the dance floor. They were dancing in the sporadic multi-colored moving lights and to the heavy beats that Olivia could feel rumbling in her stomach. After walking through dark dimly lit areas of the club, which Olivia tried to keep up with the group by holding Jeremy's hand, she finally reached the V.I.P lounge that was guarded by a bouncer who let them in after they presented their wristbands.

Once in the spacious luxurious V.I.P lounge, everyone including Olivia admired the wondrous design of the interior and the other features of the V.I.P lounge. There was a black leather u-shape sofa and in the middle was a square table with bottles of alcohol placed in a large plastic tub of ice. There was their own private dance floor and a DJ who was behind a glass panel, probably so he couldn't hear any conversations between the group. There was a door that gave the group access to communicate to the DJ and submit their requests or adjust the volume. The group first decided to sit down and have a drink. Everyone had a glass of cheap bubbly champagne, apart from Jeremy who was provided with bottles of pink lemonade.

One of the staff brought in a big cake to the table, which of course was Samantha's birthday cake (with candles already lit) as everyone including Olivia sung "Happy Birthday" to her. Samantha's face lit up with delight and was flattered to hear her friends sing for her. She blew out the candles and everyone cheered. The cake was cut and everyone got a piece

Once they drank their first alcoholic beverages with a delectable piece of cake, they took the dance floor where took their own space and danced according to the music the DJ played. Olivia only danced for pleasure and wasn't self-critical of her own moves. She always considered dance as an art and that there's no right or wrong in art, it's just an expression. There were times she tried to emulate the others and implement the dance moves Samantha taught her before their limousine arrived.

When Olivia was tired and needed to sit down, Jeremy came to join her.

"Everything okay Liv?" asked Jeremy, opening another bottle of pink lemonade.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" baffled Olivia, while pouring herself another glass of champagne.

"No reason, just wondered why you're not dancing with all the others."

Olivia looked at Jeremy rebukingly, frowned and remarked, "Do you really think I have the energy like them to dance all night."

"Oh don't worry, they've got to stop sometime. They're not robots. They come, drink more booze and hit the dance floor. It's what these robots need, more booze to replenish their fuel."

Olivia cracked a smile as her and Jeremy watched the others on the dance floor still full of energy, showing no signs of fatigue or exhaustion. After watching the others dance and seeing how occupied they were, Olivia took the opportunity to pull off her bold move on Jeremy. She took Jeremy's hand and placed it on her left bare leg, then she wrapped her lips of Jeremy's and kissed him. She then begun to move Jeremy's hand up her leg, which aroused him and made him tear his face away.

"Whoah Liv this is going a bit too far," resisted Jeremy.

"What?" misunderstood Olivia.

"Well if security catch us, we'll get kicked out for indecent exposure," warned Jeremy.

"Maybe not me, but definitely you for having something grow in your pants," quipped Olivia.

Jeremy looked down to see he had an erection, which looked noticeable and palpable.

"Oh Liv, really?"

"I turn you on don't I? You love my smooth legs don't you?"

"Well of course I do. It's just that it's not appropriate to be doing such lewd acts in a place like this."

"Oh stop nagging Mr. Goody Two-Shoes and put your hand on my leg," ordered Olivia sternly. Jeremy placed his hand on Olivia's right leg near her knee cap, Olivia moved her head closer to Jeremy's, tilted her head and commanded, "Now kiss me." Olivia and Jeremy resumed kissing in their own quiet and personal space until Olivia broke up the kissing and said, "I need to pee."

Jeremy smiled, finding Olivia's bawdy statement funny, nodded, "Okay."

Olivia smiled and gave Jeremy a quick kiss before getting up and heading out of the V.I.P room and to the ladies' room. Gallantly and happily strutting to the ladies room, she found a free stall and sat on the toilet to urinate. After urinating she heard the stall next to her slam shut and could hear the sound of two people occupying the whole stall. It wasn't two women like she hoped it was who came to snort drugs, it was a male and female. She could hear a belt unbuckle, zip undoing and his pants dropping to the floor. It then became obvious that they were having sex and it immediately triggered a flashback when Olivia had a one-night stand during Isabel's birthday. When Isabel, Laura, Olivia, Kobe, Gustavo and Tyler went clubbing, Olivia would hook up with some man she met at the club. They danced together, had a few drinks together and really hit it off. The man boldly and fearlessly took Olivia to the men's room and lead her into one of the empty stalls. At first Olivia was hyped by breaking the club rules by entering the men's room, knowing that it was expressly violating to have sex in the club. Because of his charming personality and the fragrance of his cologne, Olivia submitted to his offer for sex and allowed him to hold her up against the wall and insert his penis in her. The whole experience didn't feel entirely comfortable being compressed against the wall, but because Olivia found him attractive and irresistible, she indulged him and gave into the sexual pleasure he was giving her.

After he climaxed, Olivia would then ask him if she would see him again. He only gave vague answers, but when Olivia persisted wanting to get together with him, he gave her his number. The next day Olivia tried to text message him and hope for a response, but she got no reply. As the days went by and she hoped he would text back, she still received nothing. Despite holding onto hope and telling her friends about the sexual encounter she had, Olivia would start to mourn over the likelihood that it was just a one night stand and he wanted nothing to do with her. This would continue to haunt Olivia as she would pine for him and hope he would get back in touch with her, but it never happened.

Rather than eavesdrop on the sexual act and be reminded how rejected she felt, she finished urinating, washed her hands and hurried out the ladies room and back to the V.I.P lounge.

* * *

Arriving back in the V.I.P lounge she saw everyone had taken to the dance floor, so she took the sofa all to herself and opened a bottle of Smirnoff Ice and necked it down like it was chilled water on a hot summer day.

"Everything okay Liv?" asked Samantha, sitting down next to her.

"Yeah I'm fine. You okay? You look exhausted," commented Olivia, seeing the sweat glisten Samantha's forehead.

"Oh I'm fine. I'm sure I've been dancing for over an hour and I really need to rest."

"That's a surprise, knowing you have such abnormal amount of stamina."

Samantha looked at Olivia with a smile and laughed.

"Well I maybe able to run a marathon, but I'm no car."

"Even a car runs out of gas."

Samantha laughed and helped herself to some Smirnoff Ice.

"So what's new with you and Jeremy?" inquired Samantha.

"Oh nothing much, just helped him put up a tent," joked Olivia.

Olivia and Samantha burst out laughing and then refilled their plastic cups with more Smirnoff Ice.

* * *

When Jeremy felt exhausted from dancing and needed to moisten his parched throat, he walked to the sofa to find Olivia and Samantha sitting together. As pleased as he was to seeing Olivia and Samantha getting on well together and becoming good friends, he did notice something awkward. He saw them touching each other's legs. Not accidentally, but on purpose by applying long downward strokes.

"What are you doing girls?" asked Jeremy, with a frisky smile.

Olivia and Samantha turned around, not looking the slightest bit scared or guilty about what they were doing.

"Nothing, just talking," answered Olivia.

"You were touching each other's legs," affirmed Jeremy.

"Why what's wrong with that?" defended Olivia.

"Yeah, we were just comparing whose legs are smoother," claimed Samantha.

Olivia placed her hand on Samantha's bare leg and taunted Jeremy, "Do you like watching girls touch, does it turn you on Jeremy?"

Samantha didn't protest, she just put her arm around Olivia, placed her other hand on Olivia's leg and moved closer to her. It occurred to Jeremy that both Samantha and Olivia had too much to drink and were expressing the first signs of intoxication.

* * *

Soon everyone became too tired to dance and Samantha came up with the idea to participate in a drinking game, which everyone enthusiastically agrees to. It's been a while since Olivia last participated in a drinking game, she did it with her friends privately and never at a club. The whole idea of making a game out of drinking really appealed to Olivia, with how she tries to use her own wits to outsmart her competitors. Even though Jeremy doesn't drink, he took part anyway, but had a bottle of pink lemonade.

Olivia found herself losing most drinking rounds, being unable to outwit her competitors. Jeremy watched as Olivia would neck shot after shot down and was getting concerned for Olivia's excessive intake of alcohol. He watched her while trying to focus at the same time and started to notice Olivia's flushed face. She looked drowsy and was unable to keep her head up most of the time.

"Are you alright Olivia?" asked Jessie, noticing Olivia's obvious signs of intoxication.

"Yeah, you don't look well," said Samantha.

"I think we should stop there, it's getting out of hand now," fretted Jeremy.

"Okay, our limo will be outside ready to pick us up in an hour," informed Samantha, looking at the time on her phone.

"Olivia needs to sober up, we don't want her throwing up in the limo," said David.

"Jeremy, you stay with Olivia and watch over her," ordered Samantha.

"Will do, she can count on me," agreed Jeremy, taking Olivia in his arms.

Olivia could only see Samantha standing in front of her. Her vision was blurry, the skin of her face got tighter and she started to feel nauseous.

"Olivia, can you hear me?" asked Samantha, hovering near her face.

"Yeah," grumbled Olivia.

"Hang in there babe, we'll get you home," encouraged Samantha, rubbing Olivia's shoulder.

Everyone apart from Olivia and Jeremy took the dance floor, while Jeremy sat by Olivia, took out a chilled bottle of pink lemonade and held the open bottle to Olivia's lips.

"Here Liv, drink this," requested Jeremy.

Olivia struggled to get the beverage down her neck as some of it leaked down her neck and she choked halfway. Jeremy even resorted to get Olivia to suck on ice-cubes, even making a make-shift icepack and holding it against Olivia's head to keep her hydrated.

Kathy came up to Olivia with a glass of water, with an expressionless face. She handed Olivia the glass of water and said, "Here, drink this. You need water, not soda." Olivia necked the water down her gullet and set the glass on the table, as Kathy picked it up and offered, "I'll get you a refill."

Jeremy stayed with Olivia and continued to nurse her by instructing her to keep sucking on ice-cubes, while he eased her drowsiness by holding the make-shift icepack to her head. Kathy came back with another glass of water and handed it to Olivia who instantly took it and tried to neck the bottle of water, but choked when the glass was half empty.

"I think I'm going to throw up," moaned Olivia with her eyes barely open.

"Quick, get her to the toilet," panicked Jeremy.

Jeremy helped Olivia stand up and Kathy hurriedly escorted her out the room. The toilet was quite a walk from the V.I.P room so Kathy carried Olivia to make sure she didn't collapse. Making it to the ladies room where luckily a stall was unoccupied, Kathy directed Olivia over the toilet where Olivia spewed brown-red liquid vomit directly into the basin. Kathy lowered Olivia down to her knees where she continued to throw up, but hold onto the side of the basin.

"It's alright Olivia, you just need to get it out of your system," soothed Kathy, rubbing Olivia's back in circular motion.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," cried Olivia, her cries echoed in the basin.

"Olivia, you have nothing to be sorry about. It's okay, all of us booze lovers have been in this situation before, well once at least," diminished Kathy.

"I don't want to die," sobbed Olivia.

"Olivia, you are not going to die. You just have to expel the alcohol out of your body."

"I don't want to feel this way, I don't want to be sick anymore."

"Don't worry, you'll recover. We need to get you home safe. Whatever you do, don't lose consciousness, otherwise you won't be riding in the limousine with us."

"I like the limousine, I want to ride in it again."

"Yeah well if you do, you're not getting anymore booze," affirmed Kathy, folding her arms and watching Olivia.

Samantha entered and saw Kathy standing by the open stall where Olivia was crouched over and had her head in the basin.

"Is Olivia doing alright?" asked Samantha.

"She's doing fine," affirmed Kathy.

Samantha entered the stall and bowed closer to Olivia.

"Liv, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I think I got it all out," responded Olivia, raising her head to look at Samantha with her eyes half open.

"Well our limousine will be here in a matter of minutes, do you think you can stand up?"

"I'll try," replied Olivia, slowly taking control of her legs and pushing herself away from the basin.

She stood up and leaned against the wall of the stall to look at Samantha who was holding her steady to make sure she wasn't going to collapse to the floor.

"Oh Olivia," disapproved Kathy, running into the stall to grab a strip of toilet paper. "Clean your face," ordered Kathy, wiping a string of saliva hanging from Olivia's mouth.

"I think you should wash your face too, it will sober you up a bit," suggested Samantha, carrying Olivia to the sink so she could wash her face.

When Olivia splashed water on her face she felt less numbness on her face and her vision became clear again. She felt the strength in her legs returning and the ability to focus again.

"Can you walk?" asked Samantha.

"I think I can manage," smiled Olivia confidently. She wasn't exactly sober enough to walk a tight rope, but sober enough to walk as long as there was space.

"I think you might need assistance walking downstairs," recommended Samantha, "Come, lets go and meet the others."

Kathy and Samantha helped Olivia down the steps in case she tripped and fell. They were able to get her outside where Jeremy tended to her and asked her if she was okay. The limousine came driving down the street, its white polished exterior capturing the attention of everyone out in the street. Jeremy encouraged Olivia to act sober the best she could so she doesn't get refused entry by the limo driver. Samantha was ready to tip the limo driver in case he did refuse her entry. Instead the limo driver got out and opened the limo door for all passengers to get in and ignored Olivia's seemingly drunk facial expression, it was as if he drove drunk passengers before.

Once everyone in and the limousine was in motion, Jeremy held Olivia tight and got her to drink bottled water that was luckily supplied in the limousine. The way the limo driver was driving would have given Olivia motion sickness, but she didn't feel like throwing up, she was already feeling headaches from excessive drinking.

The limousine stopped at Olivia's apartment first, where Jeremy agreed he would help Olivia up to her apartment and stay with her. Olivia drunkenly hugged Samantha to thank her for a good time. The others including Kathy hugged her and said goodnight to her before Jeremy helped Olivia climb out of the limousine. Jeremy then proceeded to carry Olivia up the stairs and open the door for her. He helped her all the way into her bedroom and gently laid her in bed. After removing her high heels, he grabs himself some blankets and one of Olivia's pillows and sleeps on the floor next to the bed.

* * *

Olivia woke up in a brightly lit room with familiar surrounding and quickly came to the conclusion she was in her bedroom, sleeping in her bed and unsure how she got there. Her head was pounding fiercely she groaned in pain, she couldn't remember what happened last night, let alone the last time she had a hangover this bad.

"Everything okay Liv?" blurted Jeremy's voice and burrowing its way into Olivia's right ear.

Olivia turned to her right to see Jeremy peeping from the right side of the bed.

"Jeremy, what were you doing sleeping by my bed and not next to me?"

"Just trying to be a gentleman."

"Come into bed with me," ordered Olivia sternly.

Jeremy climbed into bed and moved closer to Olivia who went back to sleep while Jeremy played with her hair and watched her sleep.

"You ready to get up and have breakfast?" whispered Jeremy.

"Jeremy, don't breathe in my face. You have morning breath," cringed Olivia, flinching back.

"Sorry, I'll go and brush my teeth now," offered Jeremy, but as he was about to climb out of bed, Olivia grabbed his arm tight.

"No Jeremy, stay in bed with me. Just don't breathe in my face."

"Okay."

Jeremy lay down next to Olivia, but kept his face over hers so he doesn't breathe in her face. Olivia stroked Jeremy's bare arm and then moved it up to his neck and face. Jeremy enjoyed being massaged by Olivia and feeling loved, he bestowed a kiss on Olivia's head, hoping it would ease her headache.

After a short rest, Jeremy felt hungry and whispered softly, "I'm going to make breakfast now, you hungry?"

"Go, I'll be there in a moment," responded Olivia.

Jeremy kissed her on the head again and left the bedroom to proceed to cook breakfast. Olivia slowly got herself up and immediately felt light headed and her throbbing headaches return. She slowly set her feet on the ground and stood up. Able to walk but staggering on the way, Olivia exited her room and heard noises in the kitchen knowing Jeremy was there. Her stomach started to churn and she knew she was about to throw up. She raced to the bathroom to hurl into the toilet, even missing and getting some vomit on the floor. After throwing up, she cleaned the floor with toilet paper and then washed her face in the sink. No longer feeling nauseous, but hungry for whatever food Jeremy was cooking her, she looked in the mirror and inspected her sickly pale face. It was the feeling anyone with a hangover goes through, getting really drunk and sick and vowing to never drink that much again, but in Olivia's case she was having too much fun to count her alcohol intake. She brushed hair and looked at herself in the mirror feeling really happy after ruminating about the fun she had last night with Jeremy, her new friend Samantha and the other new friends whom she had fun with. She was euphorically happy and content, it was as if she was born again and she was ready to lead a new life with Jeremy and her new friends. She left the bathroom and destined her way into the kitchen feeling hungry for breakfast.

Olivia walked into the kitchen to see Jeremy mixing something in a bowel. She pulls out a chair from underneath the table and sits down, which prompts Jeremy to turn round to see Olivia is out of bed and ready to eat.

"Well well well, look who just got out of bed," bubbled Jeremy, "You hungry for oatmeal pancakes?"

"Yeah, but I've got a headache," murmured Olivia.

"Oh dear, well what you need is an aspirin and a prairie oyster," Jeremy put the bowl down, got a glass and filled it with water and got out an aspirin and placed them next to Olivia. "Here, swallow this and I'll make you a prairie oyster."

Olivia didn't know what a prairie oyster was, her first thought was Jeremy was going to make her eat an oyster when they had no oysters in the fridge. Instead she saw Jeremy take out an egg from the fridge, crack it into a mug. Then he poured in tabasco and Worcestershire sauce, then sprinkled in some black pepper.

"Here Liv, swallow this," requested Jeremy, handing Olivia the strange looking cocktail.

"What is this?" wondered Olivia, looking into the mug and seeing yolk floating in brown sauce.

"Prairie oyster, perfect for hangovers."

"Jeremy, I don't think I can drink this."

"Liv, trust me, it will get rid of your hangover in no time."

Olivia has never swallowed a raw egg before and knows the risk of salmonella they cause. The smile on Jeremy's face and knowing how bright and intelligent he was convinced her he knew what he was talking about. Olivia raised the cup to her lips and swallowed the yolk and immediately felt the tabasco sauce burn her throat and the ground pepper corns burn the tip of her tongue.

"Jeremy, that was so spicy," coughed Olivia.

"Well that's the whole point, it has to be spicy to really take effect," lectured Jeremy, "All you need now is a black coffee and a nice breakfast."

Jeremy cooked the pancakes and served them with blackberries and banana slices. They sat at the table to enjoy breakfast together and for the first time Olivia tasted Jeremy's cooking and really loved how soft and fluffy the pancakes were.

After eating Jeremy took the plates to the sink to wash them up.

"Jeremy you don't have to do the dishes. I can do them," offered Olivia.

"No Liv, you need to rest. I got this," winked Jeremy, as he turned on the faucet and proceeded to wash the dishes.

Olivia submitted to Jeremy's request and remained seated at the table. Not feeling her hangover anymore and having a clear head once again, she turned on her iPhone to check any messages. She received one from Samantha asking if she's doing alright. Olivia responded gleefully to Samantha's message and informed her she was doing alright and thanked her for showing her a good time. She then checked her Facebook and saw the friend request that had been standing in her notifications for over a month, it was from Jeremy. After seeing Jeremy for about a month and not adding him onto her friends list, she accepted his request and he became a new addition to her long list of friends. Looking at Jeremy cleaning the dishes, Olivia reflected on how Jeremy treated her. He's always been sweet and caring to her, as yesterday showed how he and his friends stood by her and helped her. Because of Jeremy, Olivia felt hope and joy in life again. He introduced her to new friends and gave her freshness and enthusiasm in her once depressing and monotonous life. Knowing how much Jeremy made her feel loved and special, she decided to return the favor and went into her Facebook status. She changed her relationship status from 'single' to 'in a relationship' and without thought or reconsideration, she selected Jeremy as the person she was in a relationship with.

Olivia put her phone down and looked at Jeremy still busy with washing up. Feeling ardor and affection for him, she got off her chair and snuck behind Jeremy to wrap her arms around his waist and lay her head sideways on his back.

"Whoa Liv, this is not like you," exclaimed Jeremy, as he paused doing the dishes and stood still.

"What, what's not like me. Aren't I allowed to hug my boyfriend?" cooed Olivia.

"Boyfriend?"

"I am your girlfriend, right? You want to be my boyfriend don't you?" perplexed Olivia, sounding shocked at Jeremy's response.

"Liv of course I do, I would love to."

Olivia unbound her arms around Jeremy's waist, took his hand and turned him around to face her. She looked into Jeremy's radiant eyes, looking ecstatically happy knowing he now has the right to call Olivia his girlfriend. Olivia peered into Jeremy's eyes with a smile as she wrapped her arms around his neck as Jeremy placed his hands on her hips. While maintaining eye-contact and smiling endearingly at each other, they both broke into an act of kissing and caressing. Halfway through their love scene, Olivia wondered how Jeremy would respond when he finds out that not only has she responded to his request, but has now publicly on social media proclaimed him to be her boyfriend.

**To be continued...**


	11. Chapter 11: You don't know me

**Chapter 11: You don't know me**

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 10th of May 2017**

So begins a new chapter in my life, or should I say a new beginning? Previously my life has been dull, somber and insipid. Everything felt so repetitive and languid, my own existence was so meaningless and only to enact routine and structure in my daily life. I had love in my life, which I took for granted and couldn't really appreciate. As much as I loved the friends whom I lived with, I knew their love for me wasn't enough to really fill the void in my life. Something was missing in my life and that was the love of someone who wanted me and wanted to spend time with me and I did nothing but shun him. After getting to know him did I realize he was exactly what I needed. Only he could make me smile and laugh again even when my friends couldn't always be there for me. They had lovers and it turned out that I needed a lover too, I at least needed to give romance a try and I chose to with my new boyfriend, Jeremy.  
The first week of Jeremy and I officially being boyfriend and girlfriend really did feel refreshing and was something to flaunt. It was nice to see reactions and know how happy my friends were for me that Jeremy and I are now a couple, but I had skepticisms how the relationship was going to play out. Would it be a love that is meant to last or would this only be a fling?

* * *

Olivia and Jeremy spent the first few weeks as a couple going on a few dates. Mainly they would go out for a walk or grab a bite to eat. They did nothing too exclusive and if it was something a little more vibrant and exciting they would picnic on the beach or catch a movie. Jeremy would come up with new activities that he thought Olivia would like and be willing to try. At times it seemed Olivia was enjoying herself and was always smiling and getting really into the mood, but then Jeremy would notice times when Olivia looked gloomy or just catatonic, which deeply concerned Jeremy. Whenever Jeremy asked whether Olivia was alright she would look at Jeremy with a wide smile and assure him she was okay. Jeremy wanted to believe Olivia really was alright and not disturbed by anything, but instead of pressuring her to tell him the truth, he would try to make her laugh or take her in his arms and embrace her. Olivia did feel calm and a little happier when Jeremy was comforting her, but she was still trying to figure out why she couldn't be happy despite it was a beautiful day and Jeremy was treating her.

One day Jeremy decided to take Olivia to the animal shelter where he volunteers. Olivia liked animals, she even remembered having a dog back in New Jersey who she misses dearly and was thrilled to see she would be working with dogs and play with them. She even had a soft spot for cats, especially little kittens. One highlight of her time volunteering at the shelter was handling kittens. She got to feed them while Jeremy cleaned their kitty litter and changed their bedding. Playing with the young adorable critters and hearing their constant mewing warmed Olivia's heart, it made her feel like a mother. Jeremy liked seeing Olivia play with the kittens and looking ecstatically happy. One thing Jeremy requested from the staff was to not allow Olivia to witness the animals that have suffered abuse and neglect. Jeremy made sure that Olivia would only witness and experience the wondrous and pleasant things about working at the animal shelter.

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 12th of May 2017**

One thing Jeremy probably doesn't know or suspect is that I haven't really come off medication, I've stopped taking medication. Why you may ask? As you probably know medication costs money and I've been having to go into my own wallet just to pay for refills. Sometimes when I took my medication it made me drowsy and slow-minded. I swear my brain felt like a fried egg. Not only that, but when I first took my medication I started to feel worse. They were suppose to suppress my depression and fight my suicidal tendencies. Initially when I started taking them I got severe bad side effects. I couldn't sleep well, anxiety, agitation, loss of appetite and I was having nightmares. As you can guess I dreaded taking medication because I was worried I would experience another nightmare and it would give me sleepless nights.

How would I guess that medication was the cause of this? I would forget medication by accident and what became a forgetful habit then became a decision where I voluntarily would swear off medication. After not being on medication for about a week I felt my old happy self again. Turned out I didn't need medication, I just needed Jeremy and to make new friends. That unforgettable night out at Samantha's birthday party and being off medication only for two days reminded me how much I missed alcohol. It's true that when on medication you are advised not to consume alcohol, but that was another reason why I wanted to quit taking my medication. Another reason was I didn't want to depend on medication and be prescribed drugs for the rest of my life, there was no fun it in. Jeremy, my new friends and old ones were the medication I needed.

Tonight is going to be the night, the first time Jeremy and I are going to do it. After a nice romantic meal I'm going to give it to him. That's right, Jeremy and I will be having intercourse.

* * *

"You want to learn how to kiss, Jeremy?" asked Laura, who was sat on the couch with Marina while Jeremy was sat on the armchair opposite facing them.

"I already know how to kiss. I kissed Liv multiple times and nothing went wrong," replied Jeremy.

"Yeah I know, but would you like to learn how to really kiss? Or at least how we girls kiss?" asked Marina.

"Well I don't mind taking lessons from a couple of lesbians," quipped Jeremy mischievously.

Laura and Marina moved closer together, while keeping their eyes fixed on Jeremy.

"First you get really close to your partner. Practically as close as you can get until your bodies touch and if you feel like it, give your partner a little physical contact. Maybe a hand on their leg or your hand in their's. Then you look at each other in the eyes and you assess her face, what is it about her face you find so beautiful and alluring. What makes you want to kiss her? For me I love Marina's pretty blue eyes and her dimples."

Marina blushed and debunked, "Oh stop it Laura, it's your eyes that are pretty. Beautiful green eyes, voluptuous smile and full lips I desire to kiss."

Laura turned to look at Marina and taunted flirtatiously, "Well come and kiss them then, dimples."

Laura and Marina giggle before they close their eyes and kiss gently and tenderly. Just by watching them kiss Jeremy could tell how in love these two are and that they've kissed a lot to have developed such finesse.

When Laura and Marina were done kissing, they slowly turned their heads to look at Jeremy with a seductive look.

"So what do you think of that Jeremy?" asked Laura.

"Amazing, absolutely brilliant and kind of hot may I add," commented Jeremy.

Laura and Marina laughed as Marina would then look at Jeremy with alluring eyes and offer, "You want to learn how to French kiss?"

"I don't know about know about that. It's a little too soon to consider anything too audacious," answered Jeremy.

"Well you never know until you've tried it, there's a first time for everything," enticed Laura, "Besides, don't you want to kiss your girlfriend's tongue?"

"As much as I love Liv's tongue I don't want to accidentally bite it," said Jeremy.

Laura and Marina laughed at Jeremy's witty remark.

"So what are you and Liv doing tonight?" asked Laura.

"Her and I are going out to dinner," answered Jeremy.

"Oh where to?" squealed Marina gaily.

"I'm going to take her out for a Chinese."

"Which Chinese restaurant?" inquired Laura.

"I was thinking about one that I know, the Red Dragon's Palace."

"Oh that sounds exciting, Marina and I should go there sometime," bubbled Laura.

"Oh yeah I recommend it. They do a lush chop-suey and you have to try the crispy tofu oh and the chow-mein. Those are dishes that will make you want seconds."

"Okay well if you can, please bring us a menu," requested Laura.

"And a fortune cookie," intervend Marina.

"I think they only give one for each customer, sweetie," said Laura.

"Well maybe Jeremy or Liv don't like fortune cookies and they'll save one for us," said Marina.

Olivia entered the lounge after spending a long time in her room getting ready. She was smart-casually dressed with a beige high-waist skirt and black shirt with short sleeves and a v-neckline. On the shirt were black sequins, which embellished the shirt and made it look more elegant. Her hair was wavy-curvy and she had her face titivated with light-makeup. Not overly dressed, but smart enough to go into a restaurant and fit in with the crowd.

"Liv, you look gorgeous," complimented Laura.

"Oh Laura please, tell me something I don't know."

"But it's true Liv, can't you take a complement," asserted Marina.

"Your friends are right Liv, you look stunning. A real posh-totty you are," grinned Jeremy.

"Jeremy how many times do I have to tell you? I don't speak your fucking language. You live in America, speak our language," rebuked Olivia.

"Just trying to be charming, Liv," said Jeremy.

"Yeah well you don't need to try," smiled Olivia, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

* * *

Olivia and Jeremy walked happily into town, holding hands and having an appetite to have an appetizer and main course. They arrive at the restaurant and are warmly greeted by the host who was a 40 year old Asian male, smartly dressed and spoke perfect English with an accent. He showed them to their table as they were spellbound and captivated by the charm of the restaurant. The whole environment was illuminated with a red-orange light and on the wall were paintings of dragons, inscriptions, palaces and other imagery representing China and famous historical event that Olivia assumed Jeremy would be knowledgable of. There were even golden statues of dragons and humanoid animals dressed in human clothes. Olivia recalled one that looked like a monkey and the other that looked like a pig. Olivia found the monkey adorable, seeing him wearing a hat and wielding what looked like a bo-staff.

Olivia and Jeremy sat at a table that was decorated with a white cloth and was decorated with small plates with triangular folded red napkins. After only having a brief look at the menu and unsure what to order, Olivia agreed with Jeremy to order an eight course meal that consisted of vegetarian meals. Olivia wasn't exactly vegetarian, but being with Jeremy she decided to practice vegetarianism.

The first thing they ordered was a pot of jasmine tea. Olivia wasn't exactly into tea, but Jeremy talked her into trying jasmine tea instead of ordering anything alcoholic or a soft drink. The jasmine tea was brought on a tray with two glass cups and a glass teapot. The teapot contained what looked like hot water and the glass was transparent the water could be seen. After the tray was settled down, Olivia noticed something strange looking on a small plate. It was a round spherical object, the size of a golfball. It was green and sort of resembled a watermelon, a very small one. On top was something red blossoming out of it, kind of looked like a raspberry.

"What is that thing, Jeremy?" questioned Olivia.

Jeremy picked it up and answered, "This here is a jasmine globe. I know it sounds silly, but you're going to love this. You place it in water and you see it turn into a flower."

Olivia looked amused and scoffed, "Yeah alright, next thing you're going to tell me is we get to eat the flower and we start tripping balls."

"No Liv, just watch and behold the magic," smiled Jeremy as he took off the lid as a column of steam shot out and Jeremy dropped the globe in the water.

Olivia and Jeremy watched the globe sink to the bottom and less than a minute the water started to turn bright yellow and the globe started to open. It was like watching a flower open up during sunset on one of those nature documentaries. The flower had beautiful red petals, which ascended to the top with other smaller flowers blossoming, which were white. Below where there were green leaves was a yellow flower in the middle. This amazing spectacle impressed Olivia and evoked a smile. She had never seen anything like this before.

"Tea?" offered Jeremy.

"Yes please," accepted Olivia cordially.

Jeremy poured the tea and handed Olivia hers. She sipped the tea and loved how aromatic and flavorful the tea tasted, she was tempted to order another pot.

The food arrived and was placed in the center of the table. It was served in hot metal dishes and there were spoons so it could be dished out. Everything looked appetizing, there was chop-suey, chow-mein, hot pot, dumplings, spring rolls, crispy sesame tofu, yang chow fried rice and for dessert, banana fritters. Olivia tried each of everything and was amazed and surprised how everything tasted. Everything was cooked to perfection, it really increased her appetite and fondness for vegetarian food.

After a long delectable meal, Jeremy agreed to order another pot of jasmine tea and the tab. While they washed down their meal with another pot of jasmine tea, Olivia started to feel something strange happening to her. She felt anesthetized and was unable to move at will. It also felt like she was being eaten from the inside by maggots. It was a horrible languid feeling Olivia could feel, even at a time like this. She was unable to move and appreciate the colorful and jubilant scenery of the restaurant. Not even Jeremy or the monkey statue could bring a smile to her face.

"Liv, are you alright?" asked Jeremy, looking worried.

Olivia snapped out of her comatose trance and answered, "Yeah I'm alright."

"You haven't touched your tea, it must be cold by now."

"Oh yeah."

Olivia then took a huge gulp of her tea as if she was thirsty and put on a smile just to please Jeremy.

"You sure you're alright, Liv? You were staring into space," pressed Jeremy.

"Don't worry, I'm not high. I'm just thinking really hard," assured Olivia.

"Oh yeah what about?" asked Jeremy with a mischievous smile.

"Just stuff... for when we get home," said Olivia with a seductive smile and a wink, which gave Jeremy the idea that she was implying sex.

The waiter came with the bill on a small metal plate along with two fortune cookies in a wrapper. Jeremy paid 75% of the tab feeling it was more gentleman-like to pay for most of the tab, while Olivia agreed to only throw in 25%. They left a tip and walked out.

* * *

The walk back to Olivia's apartment was quiet and unsocial, mainly because Olivia was experiencing the same strange feeling she felt after eating. This feeling made her feel nauseous, she could feel the banana fritters and syrup churning in her stomach. She was inclined to throw up, but didn't. Olivia let Jeremy do most of the talking and Olivia responded with short comments just to make it sound like she was in the mood talking to Jeremy. There were times she forgot Jeremy was with her and that she was holding his hand. It was like walking into complete darkness losing all sense and concept of time, feeling and awareness. Only Jeremy's voice could remind Olivia that she was still alive and where she was. Sometimes she would forget what she had planned and where she lived, it was as if she needed Jeremy to guide her back home.

* * *

Back at Olivia's apartment, Olivia only just realized she was in her bedroom sitting on the bed. During her walk with Jeremy she was spaced out and didn't remember walking into her apartment with Jeremy and opening the door with her house keys. Jeremy didn't question Olivia's strange robotic like behavior, he just watched her with a gleeful smile.

Olivia smiled back and willing to go through with her plans to have intercourse with him, removed her shoes and pulled off her top revealing her bra. This sexually excited Jeremy as he promptly took off his top to reveal he had mildly toned abs and stomach muscles. Olivia was aroused by the sight to see her boyfriend, whom she initially disliked and never would have considered dating have a fine looking body. Still eager and in the mood for sex, Olivia then stripped off her skirt and unhooked her bra, enabling Jeremy to see her naked breasts for the first time. Jeremy admired the breasts his girlfriend exhibited before him, appreciating how humble and subtle they looked. He proceeded to kiss Olivia as they both lay on the bed making out, while taking the opportunity to put one hand on her breast. Olivia now only wearing her underwear would then receive a kiss from Jeremy on the neck and then another on her chest and then on her belly. It was quite clear that Jeremy was intending to remove Olivia's white underwear.

Just at the crucial moment when Jeremy was about to remove Olivia's final garment, the same unsettling feeling emerged. For a moment Olivia went cold, she lost her hearing and could only hear her heartbeat. She started to feel really queasy and was about to pass out, all desire and stimulation for sex had left her and it was quite clear she couldn't go through with it.

"Jeremy, stop," asked Olivia.

"What?" baffled Jeremy, only having slightly pulled on her underwear.

"Please could you stop?" pleaded Olivia.

Jeremy then took his hands off Olivia's underwear and looked at her laying on the bed looking very pale.

"What's the matter, Liv? You have goosebumps."

"Jeremy I'm sorry, I just feel so weird," commiserated Olivia.

"Oh Liv, it's alright. I'm here for you," soothed Jeremy, laying down next to Liv and stroking her belly.

"Jeremy please, I can't do this."

"Please stop apologizing, Liv. I'm not going to force you to have sex. I'm not a rapist." Jeremy hoped that his little inside joke, but it didn't evoke as so much as a smile on Olivia's face. She just lay on her back staring at the ceiling looking white with fear. "Liv please, if it's something bothering you please say so."

Olivia didn't have any explanation to what she was feeling, it was just an unexpected mood swing, one that occurred at the worst time imaginable.

"No it's not that. It's just I... listen we had a wonderful night. I just think it's just too perfect of a moment to have sex."

"You sure there's nothing wrong. You look like you're worried about something."

"NO JEREMY THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME," snapped Olivia, outburst shocked Jeremy. She shot out of bed and dug into her closet to put on a shirt. She aggressively sat back on the bed with her back turned on Jeremy as she let out an angry huff.

While Olivia had her face in her hands, Jeremy softly asked, "Do you want me to go?"

"No... I mean yes please go," mumbled Olivia sorrowfully.

Jeremy slowly and compliantly put his shirt back on and was about to leave, but tried to comfort Olivia by placing a hand on her shoulder.

"No Jeremy no," hissed Olivia, still with her hands in her face.

Olivia didn't want comfort of any kind, not from Jeremy and not from anyone. She wanted to be alone, she needed to be alone. The thought of getting violent was spinning in her mind, as it was possible she was about to slap Jeremy if he persisted to comfort her.

Jeremy left Olivia's room and the apartment quietly without slamming any doors, leaving Olivia to grieve and be tortured by her own mental neurosis.

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 13th of May 2017**

I don't know what is happening to me. Everything is going great, but I just can't put my finger on why I feel so down lately. Usually when I'm with Jeremy I'm happy he's here and I do love his hugs and kisses, but yet something growing inside me stops me from feeling what I should be feeling. It grows in me like cancer and it slowly eats me away. It was the same feeling I felt before I attempted suicide, in fact it was the very incentive that drove me to attempt suicide. Why does this feeling intrude its way back into my body? I wasn't feeling like this during my first date with Jeremy, my second date, when I met his friends and when I was attending Samantha's birthday party. So why now? What caused me to feel like this?

Yesterday torments me when I asked Jeremy to leave, but I knew it was for his own safety. I can't believe how close I came to hitting him. He was suppose to be my angel, but I rejected his comfort as if he was a burden on my soul. If I hit him I would never have been able to forgive myself.

I spent the rest of the night sobbing and sitting at the side of my bed without getting any sleep. I just couldn't sleep without him, it hit me how much I regretted my decision for expelling him out of the house. It bothered me how I made him feel and whether he's angry with me. Will he want to reconcile with me or will he want some time away from me. These premonitions troubled me so much, I was almost certain that I had ruined my relationship with Jeremy.

Does Jeremy know about my one night stand, does he also know my little fling with Kobe? I can't take it.

* * *

"Whoah this sounds heavy, but one more time for reality's sake, come again?" asked Gustavo, sounding shocked to hear what he just heard.

"Olivia turned me down," mourned Jeremy.

"Dude that sucks," exclaimed Kobe.

"I just don't understand what's with Olivia. One moment she's happy and engaging and the next she's miserable and unresponsive. I just don't know what's going on," perplexed Jeremy.

"Have you talked to her?" asked Kobe.

"Yeah I did and she pretends she's okay when I know deep down she's keeping things from me. I just don't know what she wants," fretted Jeremy.

"Well I'm going to go and grab a drink. Do any of you guys want anything," offered Kobe.

"Oh I'm okay, Kobe," declined Gustavo.

"Thank you, but no thanks," mumbled Jeremy.

Kobe walked away, leaving Gustavo to console Jeremy looking upset.

"Jeremy, mellow out. Olivia is probably only going through a phase," soothed Gustavo, "I had the same issue with Isabel. Believe it or not there were times she was gloomy and a bit bitchy if I may add. Even when I gave her cuddles it didn't change her demeanor, she still pushed me away. You know what I did?"

"What's that?" sniffled Jeremy.

"I gave her time off and then I came back and surprised her. She was the same cheery blueberry muffin I could eat for hours."

"Surprise hm, well that shouldn't be too hard. Maybe put on another show for her."

"Or maybe get her something thoughtful like flowers or something for her pallet."

"I don't know whether Olivia likes chocolate."

"Every girl likes chocolate, Jeremy. Get her truffles and you've hit her sweet spot."

Jeremy and Gustavo laughed, finding the subtle sexual joke funny.

* * *

In the apartment where Olivia shared with her flatmates and best friends Laura and Isabel, a loud ear piercing shrill filled the room, it was the doorbell. Isabel being the only one closest to the door answered it and was warmly greeted by Jeremy.

"Hey Isabel, how's our blueberry muffin doing?"

"Oh great, now you're not the only one that calls me that," huffed Isabel.

"What? It's what Gustavo calls you."

"Well Gustavo is my boyfriend and you're Liv's. And by seeing that you are holding flowers and chocolates in your hands I assume they are for Liv."

"10 points."

"Well come on in and I'll get Liv for you. I'm sure she would be delighted to see you."

Jeremy came in, buzzing with anticipation to see the look on Olivia's face when she sees what surprise he has for her.

"LIV," shouted Isabel across the hallway, "Your boyfriend is here." Getting no response after expecting to see Olivia's door open, she then proceeded to let herself in. "Liv... what are you up to in there?" Isabel found Olivia sitting on her bed, rocking back and forth, hands clasped together and eyes bright red. "Liv, what's the matter."

Olivia's mouth was dry, she could barely get a response through her lips. She looked at Isabel with a maudlin expression, which gave her the impression she was paranoid.

"Liv, speak to me. What's the matter?"

"You wouldn't understand Isabel, it's not getting any better," blubbered Olivia.

"What's not getting better?" inquired Isabel.

"Nothing is fun anymore, I don't know whether I'm alive?"

"Liv don't be silly. Of course you are alive, otherwise why am I here talking to you?"

"You could be a delusion a figment of my imagination."

"Okay Liv now you're just being ridiculous. If you're dead then you can't be having a delusion. You need to be alive to be experiencing a delusion."

"Time's going slowly Isabel. Really really slowly. Why can't time move normal speed."

"Liv, you're not feeling too good. Shall I tell Jeremy you're not feeling well?"

"Jeremy?" frowned Olivia looking confused.

"Jeremy, your boyfriend," clarified Isabel also looking confused.

Olivia's eyes flickered into life and chorused, "Jeremy, he's here isn't he?"

"Yes, you want to see him?"

"Yes... I mean no. I don't think he likes me... no I think he hates me."

"No Liv, he loves you. He's come to see you and I think he has a surprise for you."

Instead of feeling excited Olivia had a fearful facial expression and quivered, "No no no, I hate surprises. Keep him away from me. He wants to take me away."

"Liv, stop it now. Jeremy is your boyfriend. Boyfriends help their girlfriends they love their girlfriends. Jeremy loves you and cares for you."

Olivia's shivering and anxiety got worse, she cried, "No... Jeremy wants sex with me. He wants to go inside me. He'll fuck me and then he'll abandon me, just like the last guy who fucked me."

Isabel moved closer to Olivia, placed both hands on her face and peered deep into her eyes.

"Liv, look at me and listen. That was the past, whoever his name was he was a right asshole. He shouldn't have lead you on like that."

"He gave me his number, he said he was going to call me," sobbed Olivia.

"Liv, Jeremy is different. He's not going to fuck you and abandon you, unlike that womanizing piece of shit," convinced Isabel.

"How do you know?"

Isabel frowned and scoffed at Olivia's skepticism and attitude towards who she claims to be her boyfriend.

"Look, is Jeremy your boyfriend or not? If he is your boyfriend then you have to be able to trust him. Otherwise he's just a rebound guy."

"What about that thing with Kobe?"

"I thought you never wanted to bring up that subject again. You only did it once and that was it."

Isabel suddenly noticed that Olivia's eyes were no longer fixed on hers, but at the door. Her facial expression froze, she had her mouth gaping open and eyes wide open. It was if she saw something so abhorrent, it rendered her speechless. Isabel turned round to see Olivia had been staring at Jeremy who was stood at the door also looking stunned by what he obviously overheard. His face then turned sad, it looked like he was about to cry. Before he could shed any tears his eyebrows drew closer together and it was clear to Isabel and Olivia he was angry. Neither Isabel and Olivia have ever seen him angry before.

"Jeremy," lamented Olivia regretfully.

Jeremy didn't say anything back, he swung his body round and stormed off.

"JEREMY WAIT!" implored Olivia tearfully, quickly getting off the bed and trying to stop him leaving.

Before Jeremy could try the main door, it opened and Laura appeared and noticed Jeremy still holding flowers and chocolates in his hand.

"Jeremy, so nice to see you," greeted Laura jovially.

Jeremy did not answer, he just squeezed past Laura who looked at him confused and why Jeremy looked so angry. Laura watched him in the stairwell as he slammed the bouquet of flowers on the floor it caused petals to break off and scatter on the floor. He then slung the box of chocolates against the wall so hard, the box snapped open and chocolates scattered over the floor. This tantrum from Jeremy really scared Laura, she didn't say a word, worried he would lash out at her.

"JEREMY PLEASE," bawled Olivia, whose face was in tears, "PLEASE DON'T GO!"

Olivia collapsed to the floor and broke down, leaving Laura and Isabel to console her.

"Liv it's okay, we're here for you," assuaged Laura, stroking Olivia's hair while she lay sideways on the floor still shedding tears.

Olivia then started to hyperventilate.

"Quick, get her a bag. She's hyperventilating," panicked Laura.

Isabel ran back into the apartment, while Laura stayed with Olivia and placed a hand over her head.

"Stay with me, Liv. Everything is going to be okay, just breathe," eased Laura.

Isabel came back with a creased brown paper bag. She placed it over Olivia's mouth so she could breath into it.

"That's it Liv. Breathe," instructed Isabel.

Olivia stopped her hyperventilation after she chocked. She lied on the floor immobile and comatose. Concerned for her condition, Laura and Isabel decided to call an ambulance.

**To be continued...**


	12. Chapter 12: Euphoria

**Chapter 12: Euphoria**

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 18th of May 2017**

The last two weeks have been a nightmare, a nightmare I could not awake from. I prayed and prayed for salvation and for the all mighty lord to cleanse me of such poison that courses in my veins and taints my soul. If only I knew what it was that was doing this to me and it wasn't desperation or contradiction, it was my own stupidity and ignorance that caused this. I am where I need to be and I'm getting the help that I need, from people that understand the intricacies of the human brain. Only they can understand what's wrong with me and help me with my condition.

* * *

"Jeremy," elated Olivia.

"Liv," exclaimed Jeremy.

Olivia ran in her slippers towards Jeremy who stood up from a table and smiled ecstatically as he opened up his arms and Olivia flew into them. Wrapping her arms around Jeremy, throwing her lips on his and gave him a long kiss before embracing him tightly and resting her chin on his shoulder.

"I missed you so much, Jeremy," breathed Olivia.

"I missed you too, Liv. I was so worried about you," cried Jeremy.

Olivia released Jeremy and noticed his right hand was bandaged, it looked like he was wearing a white mitten.

"Jeremy, what happened to your hand?"

Jeremy feeling reluctant to tell her, took a deep breath and then divulged to Olivia what happened, "When I left after overhearing you and Isabel, I lost my temper and punched a wall. I broke my hand."

Olivia gasped in horror and lamented, "Jeremy I'm so sorry, it was all my fault."

"No Liv, it's not your fault, it's my fault for overreacting," demurred Jeremy, "Look why don't we sit down and talk about it?"

Olivia held the tears in her eyes and accepted Jeremy's offer as they both sat down at the table.

"I should have told you Jeremy, I should have told you everything," sniffed Olivia.

"You mean about Kobe?" assumed Jeremy.

"Jeremy, I can assure you it was only a kiss we shared. We got so drunk and before I knew it, I was kissing him. I don't know why, I just needed solace and he just happened to be there. We didn't have sex if that's what you thought."

"Liv, I know. Laura told me about it, after I calmed down that was."

"Kobe loves Laura, well I don't know if he still does, but back then he couldn't take his eyes off her."

"Yeah, I can only imagine. Anyway, Laura and Isabel told me everything. Everything I overheard and I understand what you went through. Maybe not know how you feel, but why you acted the way you did."

Olivia placed her hand on Jeremy's to express sorrow for what he was about to bring up.

"Jeremy please, he means nothing to me. I regret ever meeting him and falling for his trickery."

Jeremy frowned, unsure what Olivia was trying to say.

"What do you mean?"

"The man who I met in the club and had sex in the mens."

"Liv, that's not what was on my mind. Well they told me about your one night stand, but that's not what I was about to say. I was about to say that Laura and Isabel found the letter from the doctor's, which confirmed that you were still on meds and you've not been taking your pills."

Olivia hung her head down in shame, feeling really embarrassed.

"I knew it was a silly thing to do and it's what got me here."

"Liv," consoled Jeremy, taking both her hands, "I've been there before and I know how serious and hazardous it can be to not take your medication. I myself am still on medication and I know it's for my own good that I stay on my meds before I get word from my doctor that I can quit taking them."

"Don't worry Jeremy, I take my meds now. It took time getting used to it, but I can tell you it's nowhere near as bad as shock therapy."

Jeremy's chair skidded back making and frowned.

"You underwent shock therapy?"

"Yeah, as soon as I got here it was one of the first things I was given as treatment. If only I could tell you how painful it was. I almost lost my lunch."

Jeremy and Olivia both laughed, which lightened their mood and they looked endearingly into each other's eyes.

"Thought I'd let you know I've got a play coming up in seven days time. I'm not sure whether you'd be fit for release anytime soon."

"Well I'm still getting regular check ups from my psychiatrist, but I've made really good progress and a speedy recovery, so I'm sure I can make it out in time to see your play."

Olivia smiled confidently at Jeremy, which put a smile back on his face.

"I sure hope so, we are doing Hairspray and I'm going to be playing Corny Collins."

"Oh really? I've only seen the film. I've always wanted to see what it's like on stage."

"We even got some new recruits so I can only imagine it's going to be one hell of a show and plus, I need you as support. Of course Samantha misses you, so does Kathy and the rest of the gang."

"I miss them too. I really want to do something together with them again. Kind of like Samantha's birthday."

Jeremy chuckled and reminded, "Okay but no booze for you this time. You're on medication."

"I know I know, I haven't forgotten how hung over I was. I think I can enjoy a night out without booze."

Jeremy smiled and patted Olivia's hand and praised, "Good girl."

A nurse entered the room and gave the announcement that visiting time will conclude with 5 minutes.

"Jeremy, I... I think that," despaired Olivia, knowing that visiting time was coming to an end.

"I know Liv, I got the message. Think I better be going now, but I'll come again next week. Well after your parents visit of course," said Jeremy.

"I'll look forward to it," smiled Olivia.

Jeremy and Olivia stood up and embraced each other tightly, followed by a long passionate kiss.

While Jeremy still had his hands on Olivia's hips, he impulsively professed, "I love you, Liv." Olivia in response frowned at Jeremy, which gave Jeremy the idea she disapproves, "Sorry that came out, I didn't mean to say it. It's too soon and..."

Olivia shook her head with a smile and said, "I love you too, Jeremy."

"You do? I mean wow... I just thought that. Ah it doesn't matter. You love me and I love you and..."

"Jeremy, I think it's time to go."

"You're going to be okay, Liv? You don't get lonely?"

"I never get lonely. I'll be fine, don't worry about me. I'll be out in time to see your play, I promise."

"Cool, well I better go and rehearse."

Jeremy and Olivia smiled at each other and kissed again before Jeremy seperates and heads for the exit, not without turning to look at Olivia and remark, "You look cute in pajamas."

Olivia blushed and laughed at Jeremy's statement as she happily watched him walk past security and disappear down the corridor where he was escorted out. Feeling happy and optimistic after Jeremy's visit, Olivia smelt dinner in the canteen in the next room and felt hungry, having a big enough appetite for seconds.

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 23rd May 2017**

The day I feared had come, the day I knew I could never be prepared to face, the day my parents came to visit. I hadn't seen them since Christmas, when I came to visit them in New Jersey and here they were in California coming to see me in a clinic. The news about me being checked into the madhouse scared the pants off of them, but not before being forced to show them the scar on my arm. How it went on for a while without my parents knowing about my suicide attempt is beyond me. I only begged for Laura and Isabel to keep my suicide attempt a secret. Now I was sitting face to face with them, I would reluctantly show them my scar, which they were informed about before they came in. Their reaction was exactly as I imagined, they were horrified to see how serious the scar looked and how close I was to dying. My mother needed a moment to shed tears before being able to talk to me and press me for some answers why I did it. Despite the rebuking I would get (because I'm catholic and it's a sin to commit suicide), my parents still showed me support and how much care they had for me, even offering me to come back home with them. This I declined, but I promised them I would never do something so stupid again. They believed me like any parent wants to believe their child after they made a vow, but I could tell by the look in their eyes they were still worried about me. My parents expressed their tearful byes and left to catch their flight back to New Jersey, but not without promising them I would be seeing them this Christmas like I do every year.

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 24th May 2017**

One thing I haven't written about was my stay in the clinic, maybe this is the best time to write about how safe and secure I have felt ever since I checked in. It's kind of like a summer camp, but of course you're indoors for most of the time and you have to follow rules, strict rules. The nurses were tough cookies and didn't tolerate any outbursts and disobeying the rules, otherwise you would spend the rest of the day in a padded cell wearing a straitjacket.

One thing I must address is that I never skip medication, not that it's not easy to since we are dispensed medication as part of our daily routine. We have to swallow our pills in front of the nurse so they know we took them. If we didn't, well I can only imagine other ways we would be forced to take them and I'm not talking about oral consumption. We even take therapy groups where we get to discuss our problems and our tragic backstories why we round up here. There are movie nights and we get to have snacks while watching movies. Sometimes we got to watch Disney films, but quite often we were shown Charlie Brown cartoons, I always did like his dog Snoopy, such an adorable pup he was and his friend Woodstock too. Also another thing we got to do was go on field trips, we would take the bus and be allowed out in the open, but on close supervision. My whole stay so far reminds me of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I've only seen the film once, but I do know Laura talks about the book a lot, in fact it's one of her favorite books. The only thing I remember in the film is Jack Nicholson making friends with the big muscular Native American who pretends to be a mute. Of course who could forget the lobotomy at the end, such a haunting scene.

The other patients I got acquainted with fast and I have to say they seem to be nice enough people. One of them was my age and we are both female, so it really made me feel less lonely and someone I could relate to. It almost felt like having another Laura, Isabel or even another Samantha. Her name was Kayleigh and her and I both connected because she's from New Jersey too. She was checked into a clinic after suffering a mental breakdown, which was the result of boyfriend who turned out to be a conman and left her destitute and heartbroken. We would mainly spend time playing boardgames or card games or we would just hang out and chat and talk about our personal lives. She was intrigued to know about my boyfriend and I told her about how much I missed him, without giving away too much information about her romance which could make her jealous.

One highlight in our friendship was when she played music on her iPod docking station, she played Diana Ross' Chain Reaction. I'm not a fan of oldies, but this however got me into the groove and I enjoyed its upbeat tune and lyrics. Kayleigh and I both danced to the music together feeling ecstatically happy. Sure I didn't dance like Samantha or Kathy, but I didn't care, I just wanted to dance. It is true when they say the power of music heals emotional wounds. After we were tired from dancing, we both made a promise that we would keep in touch when we both got out. Of course she would be going back to New Jersey and I promised I would come and visit her for Christmas, maybe we could have Christmas dinner together.

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 27th May 2017**

Today is the day of my discharge from the funny farm, it's been a pleasant stay, but tonight is Jeremy's play and I want to be there. I have already filled in the endless tedious amounts of paperwork and I hoped my final assessment will deem me fit to be released. It pains me to think what would happen if I don't pass my final checkup and my stay will be extended and have to miss out on Jeremy's play. I would really hate to see his face knowing I was unable to attend, then again the idea of not knowing how he would feel I find even more unsettling, an image I don't want to see or imagine.

It can't be described how nervous I feel and hearing what the final decision is, it's like being in front of a judge or parole board, not that I'd know what it feels like. Either way this was a nail biting scenario where the outcome would determine where I'll be sleeping tonight, in a hospital bed or my bed with Jeremy by my side.

* * *

"Cheer up Jeremy, it's going to be a great show," encouraged Samantha as she gave Jeremy a nudge.

"I know, it's just I really want Liv to be here to see me perform," despaired Jeremy, looking sad into the mirror.

"Me too Jeremy, I really wish Liv was here to see this. Unfortunately we have a play to perform and we can't let those who came to see us down. We have to give it our all."

Jeremy took a deep breath and tried his best to think positive.

"You're right Sam, it's like what they say. No matter what happens the show must go on."

"That's more like it Jeremy, lets give these guys a show," praised Samantha, slapping her hand on Jeremy's shoulder.

"Okay everyone it's show time," announced the director, as he poked himself through the dressing room where Jeremy and Samantha were.

"This is it, time to break a leg," squealed Samantha, hopping up and down excited to perform. She skipped out the dressing room to join the others backstage, leaving Jeremy to look at his reflection one more time. Lamenting over the thought Olivia couldn't make it tonight, he put on a lively smile and thought big, trying to not let Olivia's absence affect his performance.

Jeremy left the dressing room and joined the other performers waiting behind the curtains ready to go on stage. Samantha was peeking from behind the curtains and looked back to see Jeremy, displaying a joyous and elated smile.

"Jeremy, you're not going to believe this," squeaked Samantha, hopping towards Jeremy, taking his hand and dragging him to peek behind the curtains.

Jeremy stuck his head out of the curtains and saw the audience. A lot of people came, which he assumed Samantha was referring to, but subsequently he would discover someone in the audience caught his eye and was precisely why Samantha was excited by who she saw was in the audience. There in the middle row, looking spruced and happy to be there was Olivia, she had made it after all and was looking excited to see the show that was about to begin any moment. This sight rejuvenated Jeremy's spirits and gave him the incentive he needed to go on stage and get in character. He couldn't wait to see the look on Olivia's face when she sees him in the audience and he performs for her.  
The music for the musical number "The Nicest Kids in Town" starts playing and the backup dancers rush onto the stage and Jeremy casually walks on the stage with Samantha who's playing the part of Amber. Jeremy acts like he's getting ready for camera, doing some last minute check ups and dousing his hair with hairspray. He then delivers his greetings to the audience and then starts singing and dancing while looking directly at Olivia who was smiling at him profusely and bashfully.

Olivia was getting into the rhythm and beat of the song and mostly hearing her boyfriend sing with such zeal and bravura. She even enjoyed seeing the skill and efficiency of the dancers and noticed one of them dancing was Samantha wearing a blonde wig, she was playing the antagonist, Amber. The next scene had Kathy and an unidentified actress, whose name Olivia did not know, but assumed it was an actor who recently joined the course. It amused Olivia to see Kathy wearing a fat suit and black wig, obviously playing the main protagonist, Tracy. Jessie played Tracy's mother, Edna. Jessie was dressed in drag, which made Olivia giggle about how comical Jessie looked and talked. David played the part of Link Larkin, who is Tracy's love interest. It intrigued Olivia to know whether there was going to be a love scene between him and Kathy, knowing David is presumably gay. Maybe he wasn't gay, maybe he was bi and he dressed metrosexual. Throughout the whole play it surprised Olivia to see how Samantha can turn herself in the spoilt teen, knowing Samantha was nothing like that in real life.

The show ended and everyone including Olivia applauded loudly and enthusiastically as all actors took to the stage and bowed. Jeremy had his eyes on Olivia the whole time and was happy to see how she smiled and applauded at him, even air-kissing him. Olivia waited for everyone in the audience to leave as she remained seated and would sneak backstage to approach Jeremy. Walking past other actors out of costume and back in their normal clothes and hearing chatter in a room with lights on, Olivia assumed it was the dress room and slowly opened the door to see Jeremy talking fervently to his co-stars. Jeremy turned his head to see Olivia at the door who was smiling and opening her arms to him.

"Liv," bursted Jeremy, running towards Olivia and wrapping his arms around her. He picked her up and spun her round, before hugging her tightly and kissing her vehemently on the lips. "Oh I missed you so much, baby."

"I missed you too, shovelface," exclaimed Olivia, playfully nicknaming him.

After Olivia and Jeremy kissed and let their reunion sink in, Olivia saw Samantha smiling at her. Olivia and Samantha embrace and have a small conversation about how they've been. Olivia even praised Samantha for her performance, which flattered Samantha and was thankful for her positive feedback.

Jeremy cleared his throat just to get Olivia's attention and asked, "Are you ready to go?"

"Oh sweetie are you going so soon?" wondered Samantha, acting disappointed.

"I would love to stay, but we should get together some time, maybe lunch next week," offered Olivia.

"I would love that," smiled Samantha.

Olivia and Samantha hug again before separating and Olivia leaves with Jeremy.

* * *

Olivia and Jeremy walked back to Olivia's apartment together, while holding hands and chatting away about the show. Jeremy receives praise from Olivia on his performance and how blown away she was, which Jeremy responds by saying he couldn't have done it without her. Olivia feeling touched by Jeremy's statement, bestows him with another kiss.

* * *

When Olivia and Jeremy make it back to the seemingly quiet apartment, Jeremy suggests having a non-alcoholic beverage, which Olivia gleefully obliges and the first thing that catches her eye in the kitchen was a bundle of pink roses in a glass vase, with a pink box of chocolates with a pink ribbon wrapped around it.

"Oh Jeremy you didn't," astonished Olivia, pacing towards the table to take a whiff of the roses. Indulging the sweet aroma of the roses, Olivia then turned her attention to the box of chocolates, which made a gasp with awe. Olivia hugged the box to her chest, turned around, skipped towards Jeremy, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. "Thank you," whispered Olivia, hugging him tight.

Olivia released Jeremy and stepped back to lean against the table, while smiling seductively at him. She puts her hands underneath her skirt and pulls down her underwear, letting her panties slide down her legs. Grabbing the panties off her foot, she flung them in his face. Jeremy laughed, taking the panties in his hands and watching Olivia strip off her tight black v-top shirt, exposing her bra. Jeremy took off his shirt and approached Olivia to grab her in his arms and kiss her. He unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor. Olivia broke away from Jeremy and raced Jeremy to her room giggling as Jeremy grabbed her from behind and grabbed her naked breasts and kissed her neck.

"What on earth is going on here?" astounded Isabel, standing in the corridor with her eyes bulging out and mouth wide open. Gustavo was behind Isabel and had the same expression on his face.

Olivia and Jeremy froze and just looked at Isabel and Gustavo staring at the awkward spectacle. It was embarrassing for Olivia to see that Isabel and Gustavo could see Jeremy's hands covering and squeezing her breasts, she covered her breasts with her arms while Jeremy stood half naked behind her and tried to appear normal.

"Oh hey Isabel, you caught us at a bad time," greeted Olivia, "I thought nobody was home."

"Yeah well looks like it's just us and our bos," confirmed Isabel.

"Where's Laura?"

"Her and Marina are in Berlin."

"Berlin, why did they go to Berlin for?"

"Who knows? From what I remember they went to see some I don't know, historian or I think he's a demon-thingy. How should I know? Just some guy obsessed with the occult and the mysterious, you know like Mulder from the X Files kind of guy."

"Oh right. What would Laura and Marina want with an occultist slash historian?"

"Beats me. I know it's his birthday tomorrow, so I guess they were generous enough to book a flight to Germany just to see him and wish him happy birthday."

"It's Marina's birthday in two days time, she's invited you two to join," announced Gustavo.

"Wow that's nice, guess we'll have to figure out what to get her" responded Jeremy.

After a moment's silence, Isabel nodded and bossed, "Well anyway you two, do what you have to do, but do it in your room if you don't mind."

Olivia and Jeremy retired to Olivia's room where they both agreed that the moment wasn't good for sex and they wanted to have more privacy. The first thing did before Olivia got herself ready for bed was remember to take her medication. Ever since she was in an institute did she feel the negative effects of being on anti-depressants did she slowly begin to feel accustom to them again. Still she would experience stages of paranoia when they begun to take effect, but she hoped being in bed with Jeremy would alleviate the bad side effects and help her sleep that night.

Olivia courageously takes a pill and swallows it down her gullet, gets into bed with Jeremy and hugs him tight and thinks happy thoughts.

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 29th May 2017**

Today is the day that not only does Laura come back home, but also it's Marina's birthday today. Marina and I might not have been the best of friends, but we always tried to keep it civil and friendly. I would even go as far as admitting I like her with Laura better than when Laura was with Tyler.

It was also interesting to know that the party will be at the same place where Laura had hers. I really liked that restaurant, the scenery was nice, the food was great and the service was appeasing. It's going to be a bigger party than Laura's because Marina has the generosity to not only invite Tyler, but also his new girlfriend who I never met before. It's like what they say, the more the merrier. Yeah I guess the more guests Marina invites, it will be a cool party, a real killer.

* * *

Olivia rode with Jeremy, Isabel, Gustavo in Kobe's car as he drove them in his Toyota. Stepping into the beach-side restaurant again struck Olivia with a sweet sense of nostalgia and what a wonderful night it was. They were the first ones there and were guided to their table by a server. Tyler and his girlfriend, Melissa, arrived subsequently afterwards. Tyler took the time to introduced Melissa to everyone who shyly but warmly greeted everyone. Melissa reminded Olivia of Marina, seeing she was roughly the same height as her and acted timid. Olivia couldn't help but sympathize with Melissa, even tried to make her feel welcome by asking her a few questions, which she cordially answers.

Laura's mother, Caroline, arrives. She's accompanied by a man her age who is dark skinned and has dark hair. He has broad shoulders and big strong looking hands, almost resembling the military type with his sturdy posture. When Olivia shook his hand, she could really feel his tight grip, corroborating Olivia's suspicion that he really was a strong one.

Finally after a small amicable conversation the last two arrive, Laura and the birthday girl herself, Marina. Everyone including Olivia clapped and Gustavo implemented a wolf-whistle and sprightly complimented Marina's exquisite and titivated appearance, which Olivia did sort of envy. Olivia greeted Marina with a hug and wished her happy birthday sincerely and enthusiastically, feeling no bitterness or animosity towards her former rival.

Everyone begun the party with a drink of white wine, on the exception of Olivia and Jeremy who settled on a glass of house lemonade. During the social event, Olivia and Jeremy held hands, Jeremy even placed his hand on Olivia's leg. Jeremy would along with Gustavo try to steal the show by challenging each other to who could pull off the best antics or tell the best jokes. This little show of theirs did not only captivate the attention of everyone around the table, but other guests in the restaurant turned their attention to see the two clowns. Olivia broke up the show by slapping Jeremy's behind and told him to sit down because food was coming and it's time to eat.

After the main course came the birthday cake, which lit the dim lit room like a guiding torch. Marina was amazed by the sight of the birthday cake placed before her as she struggled to draw enough breath to blow out the candles. Everyone got a piece of the cake and would then proceed to give Marina testimonies in her honor. Although everyone else had more to say about Marina, Olivia tried to think of some nice to say to Marina. It didn't have to be long, just something complimentary and something that will please Marina. Olivia was surprised to see Isabel come up with something flattering and poetic, knowing she warmed up to Marina before she did.

When it was Olivia's turn (assuming it was her turn) Olivia held her glass and toasted, "Here's to Marina, the girl that made me believe that being mysterious is a good thing and that it's okay to be gay. Oh and if I must patronize you, I'll say you making Laura happy taught me to pursue my own happiness, with Jeremy here of course." Marina smiled at Olivia's kind words and so did Jeremy who kissed Olivia on the cheek and Olivia responded, "Jeremy, not in front of my friends." Everyone looks at Olivia grinning mischievously and Olivia assumes they were going to bring up the idea about getting married, as Olivia deplores, "Don't get any bright ideas."

* * *

The restaurant was closing and the tab was already paid as everyone got ready to leave. Kobe who only had two glasses of white wine to drink and then sobered up with soda, would still volunteer to be the designated driver. Gustavo, Isabel, Olivia and Jeremy rode in his Toyota after wishing Marina one last happy birthday before leaving her with Laura.  
Kobe stopped at Olivia and Isabel's apartment as Olivia and Jeremy would step out. Olivia would notice that Isabel remained in the Toyota with Gustavo and Kobe.

"You're not coming too Isabel?" perplexed Olivia.

"Nah, I'm going to spend the night with Gustavo and Kobe. Tonight you and Jeremy can have the place to yourselves," grinned Isabel, signifying that she's expecting what Olivia and Jeremy plan to do now they are alone and have the apartment to themselves.

Jeremy and Olivia watched the Toyota drive off, then they looked at each other with eager hankering smiles on their faces. They both rushed into the apartment, slipped their shoes off and started to peel off their clothes and dump them in the corridor. Jeremy followed Olivia into her room only wearing his underwear. He entered the room to see Olivia on the bed with her breasts exposed and in the process of removing her panties.

Jeremy stripped off his underwear rendering him naked and would climb on the bed and peel Olivia's panties off her leg. He then lay on top of Olivia and kissed her before slowly and gently inserting himself into her. Olivia gave off an orgasmic squeal and held Jeremy tight as he begun to thrust slowly and gently while looking at Olivia with her eyes closed and silently orgasming. Jeremy already experiencing the warm sensual pleasure inside Olivia, begun to feel the carnal pleasure, which made him climax. Exhausted and panting after making love to his girlfriend, Jeremy hovered over Olivia's face to bestow her with loving tender kisses. Jeremy lay his head on Olivia's chest while Olivia massaged Jeremy's hair as they both cerebrate over the intense sensuous pleasure they luxuriated in.

After only five minutes of silence and napping together, Jeremy removes his head off Olivia's chest to look her in her bright benevolent blue eyes.

"Wow that was amazing," marveled Jeremy.

"Me or your dick inside me?" asked Olivia sarcastically.

"Of course I meant you, Liv. I know they say pussy is pussy, but I wouldn't trade you for any pussy in the whole world."

"That's very sweet of you, Jeremy." Olivia ruffled Jeremy's hair before asking him, "There's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"Well shoot Liv, I'm an open book," smiled Jeremy.

"Do you ever wonder if your life would be different?"

Jeremy frowned before asking ",What do you mean different?"

"Like if you would have went to jail for assault or if you didn't agree to come to the States."

"Liv."

"No I'm serious Jeremy. I ask myself nearly all the time what if I turned you away and we never got together or if I died and I wasn't around here today? Maybe I wouldn't have..."

"Liv, stop it... stop it now, okay," rebuked Jeremy firmly with his eyes rolled at Olivia. "You can have regrets that's completely normal, but you can't keep asking yourself what if and what could have been. What's happened has happened and you got to leave that in the past. We live in the now and we are blessed to have come together and live in this moment. If you really want to know what I think about what if I had gone to jail for assault, I don't want to know. Is the one who I permanently blinded in one eye still bitter and vengeful towards me knowing he didn't get justice? Also, what deal did my dad make with his family or have to go through in order for me to be let go by the judge and walk out of court a freeman? I don't know and quite frankly I don't want to know. I can't undo what I did, especially what I wish I could undo, but I can't. It's something I have to learn to live with. I attempted suicide, but failed and there was a reason why I failed and I'm glad I failed. If I succeeded then I would never have met you."

"That one night stand and that fling with Kobe. It didn't mean anything. That one night stand was a mistake and Kobe doesn't mean anything, he's just a friend."

"Liv, whatever you have to say about your one night stand or whatever his name is, don't. Oh and your fling with Kobe, I'd rather not know. I don't need to know and I don't want to know. It happened okay? End of."

"I was so worried about you, you seemed really angry and I was worried you were going to get violent or I was going to get violent with you."

"Liv, one thing you must know about me is just because I get angry and got violent one time doesn't that is who I am. That's why I fled, I knew it was the best thing to do. And another thing you need to understand," Jeremy pauses and looks Olivia deep into her eyes, "I would never ever ever hurt you. I would never raise my fist on you or do anything to physically hurt you. You're a lady and I don't hit ladies or any human for that matter."

"But you'll punch a wall?"

"Okay it was a silly thing to do and I overreacted, but please don't think of me badly, Liv."

Olivia moved her hand to stroke Jeremy's stomach muscles with her fingers.

"I don't think of you badly, Jeremy. I just don't know how we're going to make this work without all this inconvenience and our own raw negative emotions getting in the way."

"We'll pull through them, Liv. We'll do it together. All I want is to make one thing clear. I don't want to live in the past, I want to leave it behind and live in the moment right here right now. I want it to be with you Liv, I want us to work together and help each other overcome our traumas and psychological issues. Just us, two brave little souls who fight through the darkness until we find light, a light that we can revel in and guide us to heaven, our heaven our salvation our romance."

"Oh Jeremy, you are so sweet and poetic," cooed Olivia, stroking Jeremy's face.

Jeremy smiled and quipped, "But who's more sweet, me or the chocolates?"

Olivia frowned confusingly, but then reverted back to her amorous face. She lightly punched Jeremy in the arm and answered, "Of course I mean you, silly. Well the chocolates were nice, but you were..." Olivia's face turned to shock as she just remembered something, "Oh shit, I haven't taken my medication"

"Don't panic Liv, it's not too late," soothed Jeremy, while watching Olivia rummage through the draw on her side of the bed.

"I think my pills are on your side of the bed, please check the draw please," requested Olivia.

"Of course Liv." Jeremy pulled open the draw from his side of the bed and found Olivia's pills. Unscrewing the top of the tube container, he took out one pill. Olivia rolled out her tongue as Jeremy placed the pill in her mouth.

Swallowing the pill down her gullet, Olivia took Jeremy's hand and requested, "I need you to hold me Jeremy. These pills still make me giddy and a little anxious and I need you for comfort."

"Of course Liv, I'm always here for you when you need me."

Olivia and Jeremy broke into kissing and lay back on the bed. Olivia turned off the light and would resume kissing Jeremy. Feeling exhausted and having heavy eyelids, they both tried to get some sleep, but not before exchanging words everyone wants to hear their lover say.

"I love you, Jeremy," whispered Olivia jittery.

"I love you too, Liv," whispered Jeremy, giving his girlfriend a kiss on the head before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

* * *

Olivia slept peacefully and harmoniously, only to receive the chivalrous voice of Jeremy in her ear.

"Are you awake, princess?"

"Don't call me princess," moaned Olivia, with her eyes still closed.

"Sorry, how about Sleeping Beauty?"

"She's a princess."

"And a prince wakes up his princess with a kiss."

Jeremy audaciously kissed Olivia's lips and she backs away and immediately opens her eyes.

"You asshole, Jeremy," admonished Olivia, lightly slapping him in her face, which didn't wipe the sly mischievous smile off Jeremy's face. Olivia ran her fingers through Jeremy's hair and then down his neck.

"You know I'm hungry, I think it's time for breakie," said Jeremy.

"Sounds good, you're the one cooking," conceded Olivia, jumping out of bed and walking to the door denude of clothing, "Don't know about you, but I'm going to eat naked, you should do the same."

Olivia exited through the door looking back at Jeremy with a seductive smile and a wink. Jeremy felt compelled and jumped out of bed to join Olivia in the kitchen.

Jeremy made breakfast burritos which consisted of avocado, sliced tomatoes, scrambled eggs and onion. Olivia happily ate her burrito, but made a mess. She ended up licking her fingers, which Jeremy found cute. Jeremy then proceeded to wash up and handed Olivia and wet towel to wipe herself.

"So Jeremy, how do you rate my pussy compared to all the pussy you fucked?" asked Olivia boldly.

"Well that's appropriate after breakfast talk," responded Jeremy.

"What's the matter, can't your full stomach handle sex talk?"

"If you must know, that was my first time."

Olivia nearly choked on the coffee she tipped down her throat as she slammed down her mug and questioned, "What you were a virgin?"

"Yep."

"Wow and you didn't need me to put it in for you."

"I know what a vagina is and how it works, teach."

"Teach, is that the best insult you can come up with? Why don't you say that to my hole why don't you?"

Jeremy looked at Olivia, smiled and wisecracked, "Which one?"

"Which one would you like to talk to? I have three."

"One is for kissing, one is for fucking and the other is for... well you get the idea."

"What you want to fuck me in the ass?"

Jeremy laughed and replied with, "Well I don't know, might be a little tight I imagine."

"Do you think about fucking me in the ass?"

"I erm... I don't know."

Olivia smirked as she saw below Jeremy's waist and could see he was getting aroused by the idea.

"Ha ha look what we have here, someone's getting turned on," grinned Olivia, "Well guess what you dirty bastard... I don't do anal. So you can tell your chubby friend he ain't going where the sun don't shine."

"The sun doesn't shine where he was yesterday."

"You really think you're so clever don't you, Jeremy. Well then," Olivia gets off her chair and approaches Jeremy seductively. She puts her hand on Jeremy's erect penis and stimulates him while proposing, "I'm going to go and hit the shower and if your friend Woody-Woodpecker will be a good boy, you can both come in the shower with me and have fun, deal?"

Jeremy unable to answer Olivia right away already aroused and sexually excited answers, "Sure Liv, he'll be a good boy."

Olivia removes her hand from Jeremy's genitals and says, "Good."

Olivia kisses Jeremy's lip and cunningly lightly bites his lip. She takes Jeremy's hand and leads him to the shower.

**To be continued...**


	13. Chapter 13: Epilogue

**Chapter 13: Epilogue**

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 5th of August 2019**

I know I haven't written in my journal for a long time, but I just felt like it. Jeremy and I are still together, in fact we have been for the past two years and I can happily say we are very much in love with each other. Like all couples do we have our ups and downs and do have the occasional disagreement and argument, which is one of the unpleasantries about being in a relationship. Only after getting into a quarrel or any altercation, we just take time away from each other and we come back, kiss and makeup and loving each other more than ever. Being in love is one of the most warm and uplifting feelings one could ever experience. It helps one emotionally recover and see the world as a wonderful vibrant place worth living in.

Whenever I see Jeremy looking sad and disturbed by something, I always hug and kiss him on the cheek and it always brings back the smile on his face. We are always open and share our problems and issues and we both help each other overcome it. It's one of the many tasks of being in a relationship, to be there for one another and work as a team.

One thing Jeremy and I both got into was singing and we became a singing duet. I got more into music during our first anniversary. Jeremy got the street band we met on our first date and he got them to play at a private gig for me. He sung "Sugar Sugar" by the Archies where he played acoustic guitar and sung for me, which made me blush and even giggle out of my nostrils. I remember after the song Jeremy told me I looked so red like a tomato and my face looked like a melting wax mannequin.

Music always did become my most preferred means of catharsis and I never thought I would say this, but I got into metal music after Kathy introduced me to the nu-metal band "Korn". I learnt about the front man's history, Jonathan Davis. He had a difficult childhood at school and also at home, which motivated him to vent all his pain through music. He sung a lot about abuse, suicide and sorrow, even crying in some of his tracks. It's no wonder why metal has its fans, it's been the very thing that has prevented them from committing suicide. Kathy wasn't lying when she told me how Korn helped her during her rough times and trauma experiencing heartbreak, because they too expelled all the negative energy that has been brewing in my system. I also got into other bands through Jeremy like Radiohead and Coldplay, who may not be metal bands, but sung sentimental melancholic songs, which I could personally relate to.

As soon as I got my own acoustic guitar, Jeremy and I would spend jamming sessions together. We would even take it to the next level and play at small gigs and would get positive feedback from our audience. At first I was afraid to sing because I thought I was bad, but Jeremy encouraged me to try it and I got comfortable singing to him and to an audience. Being a musical duo really kept us together as a couple and kept the flame alive in our romance.

Jeremy even compared me to Stevie Nicks, who I later learnt is a member of Fleetwood Mac. It blew me away when I saw what Jeremy was talking about. Stevie Nicks and I do resemble each other in terms of appearance (the blonde hair and pointy chin, just our eye color is different), but I don't sing like a goat, which is something I don't intend to emulate. Jeremy and I sing Fleetwood Mac songs together and that's how I grew fond of Stevie Nicks and she became my idol.

I would be lying if I said Jeremy and I didn't get a little naughty and bold or even a little experimental with our sex-lives. Sex does indeed come with the territory, but we like to think of it as a little treat and not a means of debauchery. I'm not going to go into details about what Jeremy and I did to each other to try and induce pleasure and make our sex more entertaining and adventurous, but I can tell you we did things like role play. Yes we would dress up in silly hilarious costumes and get into character. Guess I'm really getting into the whole lifestyle of a nerd, not something I ever imagined in a million years I would become, and it was all because I started dating one and having sex with one. Yep I'm going to say it, he infected me with the nerd virus. As long as he treats me like a lady he's going to get all the sex he wants, what's the worse that can happen?

* * *

Olivia sat alone in the bathroom on the toilet using a pregnancy test. This was the first time she ever used a pregnancy test and was hoping she read the instructions carefully and the result would confirm whether she was pregnant or not. She has recently been getting morning sickness, breasts feeling sensitive and sore and she missed her period. These were signs that she could be pregnant.

Olivia couldn't understand why she was feeling the effects of pregnancy. She did have unprotected sex with Jeremy for the first time and after, before her medication dosage was reduced and she demanded Jeremy wears a condom. Only three days ago did she and Jeremy have sex and it was protected, but there are small chances that women can get pregnant even if their partner wears a condom.

Olivia dipped the pregnancy test stick into the small paper cup of urine and held it there for ten seconds. She removed the stick and watched the small oval window, which would confirm the test result. After three minutes of anxiously waiting the results show up. Her heart skipped a beat and crawled its way up her throat.

Letting out a huff, Olivia threw her arm down to the floor with the pregnancy test still in her hand. She looked out of the window where the sun shone so brightly and pondered on what was to come.

* * *

**Olivia's Journal 29th of August 2019**

Today is a special day, well maybe not as special as tomorrow will be, but one I will never forget. It's Laura's bachelorette Party as well as Marina's, that's right, Laura and Marina are getting married. Both have finished college. Laura finished med school and Marina finished university and obtained a degree in IT. To celebrate they decided to get married. The most rad thing about the wedding and what makes it a blast is that the wedding will take place in Europe, in Poland. Whenever I hear the name "Poland" I don't imagine it being what I expected it to be, but how wrong was I when Poland turned out not to be the drab and dingy place I imagined it to be. Poland is a breathtaking and enchanting place, so different than California in terms of flora and fauna. It was like stepping into a fairytale, it made me feel like Alice in Wonderland where I would be greeted by lush green fields, exotic trees, sparkling clear running streams and friendly locals, happy to see an American.

We stayed in a riverside hotel called Hotel Nidzki, what a funny language Polish is. Jeremy and I got our own room as so did our other friends. I liked that the rooms had Wi-Fi, Wi-Fi that actually works. We got a wonderful view of the river where we could take boat rides, which was one of the things I wanted to do on a romantic evening. One thing that did scare me however was the unexpected sight of llamas, those animals really creep me out. They're like mutant goats with long necks. Jeremy laughed when I got scared after I saw a llama was right next to me and sniffing my hand.

Laura and Marina would take their own private tour up north. Can't remember what it was they wanted to see. What was that place? Russia, Prussia I don't know, I'm no geography geek. They claimed they wanted to visit where their ancestors lived and to learn more about their origin as reincarnations. Okay Laura becoming a history buff is something, but her becoming an occultist or even a pagan I would never have imagined. Only when Marina gave us a magic show did I become more superstitious, only surviving a suicide attempt augmented my belief that there really is a god.

Laura and Marina would have their own separate bachelorette parties, I was invited to Laura's. It was like a girl's night out, just like old times when it was just us three, Laura, Isabel and me. Of course at the least minute we decided to invite Laura's mum, it would feel wrong to leave her out so we decided to let her tag along.

Marina I don't think got much of a bachelorette party, but more of a private hangout with her dad. Yes, the man at her birthday dinner who turned out to be Laura's mum's new boyfriend is her dad. What do you know eh? A lonely girl is reunited with her long lost father and they're having a night out together, talk about the drama.

Jeremy would join Kobe and Gustavo for a night of drinking. Despite coming off of medication, Jeremy still doesn't drink. I guess drinking was never really his thing. Knowing Kobe and Gustavo to be reckless and crazy with their alcohol intake, I'm sure they will respect Jeremy's wish to only consume non alcoholic drinks and be the one to look out for them. One think is for certain, he will entertain them and they'll be laughing their asses off.

Us girls will be having a boat party, just the four of us. There'll be music, dancing, drinks and magnificent sightseeing. We'll be seeing the nightlife of a Polish town not highly rated in Trip Advisor, but will at least make my top 10 list of my most memorable nights.

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**Olivia's Journal 30th of August 2019**

Well this is it, today is the big day, the wedding. In all honesty, weddings are nothing new to me as I've been to many weddings before, more than I have ever been on holiday. The one thing I liked best about weddings were the parties, the food, the dancing and socializing with the other girls my age.

The only difference about this wedding was it was the first one I've been to abroad and the only time I cared for the ones getting married. Laura, one of my best friends is getting married and I along with Isabel are the bride's maids. All I can say when I saw Laura in her wedding dress was how blown away I was with how beautiful and exquisite she looked. Laura was really emotional, even shedding a few happy tears and unable to control her nerves. She was overwhelmingly happy to get married, as I was happy for her too.

The ceremony was at hand and it was an outdoor ceremony, right next to the river bank. Laura walked down the aisle with Kobe, who was the only male who was willing to do the honor, despite knowing Laura had friendzoned him. Marina would be the next one to walk down the aisle with her father escorting her. Marina was also wearing a white wedding dress, matching the same one as Laura. Guess I would have preferred that than Marina wearing a tuxedo, could only imagine how ugly that would have looked.

I normally don't cry at weddings, but I cried at this wedding to see the one who I considered my little sister was getting married. She was going to be looked after and cared for by the one she loves. Resentful of Marina originally, I grew to accept Laura loves her and I began to trust her and wanted her to be happy too. I'm very sure my bridesmaid dress was sullied with tears that leaked out of my eyes and ran down my neck. It was such an unforgettable and romantic scene to see Laura and Marina kiss after they've been pronounced married. It was at this moment I had tears streaming down my face and my nose was stuffy, I don't think I could ever be such an emotional wreck at a time like this. Laura is now officially married and I can't describe my sincere happiness and contentment for her and Marina, knowing that a new chapter in her life has begun. Not only for her, but as for me, which I will tell her at the right time after her honeymoon. First, I had to tell Jeremy.

The wedding party was just as jubilant and frolicsome as I expected. There was plenty to eat and drink and we all got a slice of the wedding cake. Jeremy and I of course danced sprightly to the more energetic songs. When we were tired and we had to sit down, we decided to socialize with one guest who was an acquaintance of Laura and Marina, it was their friend from Berlin. I think I specifically remember his name is James, or it's another name that starts with 'J'. Laura said he was British, but he doesn't look like it. He has long dark hair and a beard, kind of looks like a viking almost. I would have assumed he was Italian or Norwegian, definitely not British. Jeremy didn't think he looked British at first glance and he lived in Britain. James would be sitting alone at one of the tables eating cake with a cup of coffee. He would greet us with a smile and allow us to sit down. Even though he seems pleasant with a warm friendly manner, I could tell a part of him was shy. Jeremy was thrilled to hear that his father was also called Jeremy. He was even fascinated to know about James' background and why he lives in Germany and not the UK, which he openly told us he was born in Germany and always considered it his home. He even divulged about his occupation and clarified he was a history and English teacher. In his part time he likes to study demonology, folklore, mysticism, Baltic mythology and the occult. Whenever we would mention anything relating to Germany and his strange somber hobby, he would go into long vivid detail and would find it hard to know when to stop. We basically had to try and change the subject, which he was more than happy to comply and consider our own interests. After a friendly conversation with James, he happily offered us an invitation to come and visit him in Berlin. Jeremy looking intrigued suggested dropping by before boarding a flight to London. Of course we flew to Berlin from the US, but we didn't get to see the city and took the bus to Poland. Guess we can hang out with James in Berlin before boarding the plane to London. Our reason for traveling to London was Jeremy and I had plans to go and see Samantha's first performance in the West End in London, who I'm sure would be beyond delighted to see us.

Feeling replenished of energy after relaxing and socializing, we took to the dance floor when a slow romantic song started to play. Jeremy noticed the song to be from Phil Collins and I immediately recalled the name as someone Marina was obsessed with and would not shut up about. Even though I thought Phil Collins is a schlimazel who sings nothing but melancholic love songs, I couldn't help but love this song. Looking at Jeremy in the eyes while dancing with him, I was captivated and enraptured by the song's romantic and soothing lyrics.

Suddenly the guests on the dance floor froze and turned to see something that caught their eyes. Jeremy and I also threw our eyes in the direction everyone else was looking in and to our surprise it was the man himself, it was Phil Collins. He came to the wedding to perform exclusively for Laura and Marina who were ecstatic to see him, especially Marina who nearly collapsed to the floor. Phil Collins gave his congratulatory testimony to Laura and Marina and wishing them luck with the future. As Phil Collins continued to sing the rest of the song, his sweet melodic voice and that electric guitar riff amplified my love for Jeremy and I could see the same in his eyes too. We kissed while listening to the end of the song, feeling sheltered and secure in each other's arms and continuing to lavish love for one another.

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After the wedding party, Laura and Marina ran to the boat waiting for them by the Krutynia river, while being showered with rice. It was a custom made bowrider, with white leather seats at the back and it was adorned with flowers and ribbons, to imply the couple on board just got married. Laura and Marina had their brief moment with their family before they both took the bouquet and flung it in the air. Olivia originally reluctant to join the others in catching the bouquet, spontaneously joined in the roistering crowd of females and caught the bouquet, feeling victorious and glam.  
Olivia watched Laura and Marina climb into the boat and then ride down the river. Feeling sad, but happy for her friends who she knew she wasn't going to be seeing in a long time, turned her attention to the bouquet she held in her arms like a baby. This reminded her of what she had to tell Jeremy. Before she flew to Europe she had an appointment with the doctor who gave her confirmation regarding her pregnancy test. Turning to face Jeremy who previously looked proud of Olivia for catching the bouquet had his back turned to Olivia. He had his hand in his inner jacket pocket and was clearly feeling nervous and tense.

"Jeremy, I have to tell you something," announced Olivia.

"Yeah Liv, me too," said Jeremy, turning around to face Olivia holding something cubic in both his hands.

Jeremy got down on one knee and looked up at Olivia who was smiling and feeling speechless, unsure whether to let Jeremy go first. Both had something to say, whatever it was they had to say would determine their future together as the happy loving couple they are.

**The End**


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